if all are having the same number of kids then,
the one whose name turns up in a lucky draw :K337:
[quote="psyah, post:5, topic:183263"]
Peace again MatineeSiren
The fact that you allow and entertain the idea of little theft proves that you can accept other women in your husbands life. Whether you think it is better for him not to be married is another issue entirely. It only means that you would rather have his legacy for simply being his wife.
It's your inheritance vs his halal actions
It is clear that you would side for your inheritance over his actions being halal. So much for love!
For the record I do not assume I know what women want, but I believe I know what they can handle and it is based on what Islam has made permissible./quote]
It's based on your presumption that your interpretation (yes, say it with me: i n t e r p r e t a t i o n) of what Islam has made permissible is correct.
That's a fallacious argument right there :)
Peace PureSunlight
I agree it is based on interpretation. It is indeed my interpretation or an interpretation that I have chosen to side with to support my argument that to marry is actually better than not. The first wife's interests are (according to what I believe) actually protected more by a husbands' second marriage rather than the second woman being allowed to be a mistress.
I did not say that I knew what women wanted, and even if I did there are a limited number of things to to choose from and deduction can deal with the rest.
So even though I agree with you that it is an interpretation. I disagree that my argument is fallacious it just needs more substantiation.
Re: Multiple Wives
no woman can and should be expected to share her husband - allowed or not allowed ends with that. or else, men must know that they are the ones being shared by multiple wives.
and how they feel, when they are being shared, is their headache.
Allah swt, has no gender as we know. we cannot say that Allah swt gave honey combed hearts to men, whenin they can partition between each wife. 1 or 2 or countless.
and the concept of increasing the religious fold, by propagating more off spring, there too, believing that a man can faher many children as he possibly can, with multiple wives, how can he ever do justice in loving all of them?
there is something extremely bizaare on part of the man, about this free-love environment, which if anything, he is the one who wont be able to handle.
rest is choices of people, under misguided self justifications. to each their own really.
Re: Multiple Wives
Peace All
My argument is simple and inshaAllah I shall be clear about this:
Surah 4 Verse 3:
And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry women of your choic, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly then only one or that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.
a) Multiple marriage is based on the pre-condition that one fears an injustice will take place with orphan females
b) However, if again fear comes in with more than one marriage regarding the dealing justly with them then only one. So one is preferred over many.
c) Though marrying more than one wife is allowed it is not advisable nor is it a position of greater piety, rather it will force us to a situation that will increase injustices, however, it is not forbidden.
So based on this one is not allowed more than one wife if he feels like it ... it will only be if other women in his 'possession' are likely to cause him to treat them with injustice. However, one should be preferred to avoid injustices happening in a different direction.
My point stands as an academic viewpoint that when a man is going to sin it is better for him to be married to the other woman period. It is not better than controlling himself and being a good husband to his one wife, of course that is better by what is being said.
Besides this allowance in upto four marriages balances things for us men in the psychological battlefield if we had no things like this in our favour we would have been trodden over by womankind. We are disadvantaged by women but Allah (SWT) is balancing things out a bit.
I say nothing from whim in this discussion, but verily the Words of my Lord are higher than anyones words on this thread. I just pray I have understood them in the best way.
I'd rather my husband were lashed for his indiscretions than ruin my entire life and ruin the lives of my possible children.
I think you only want to satisfy your ego, and you are afarid to be cosnidered insufficent for your husband. It will be only cheating yourself so be open your eyes and face the truth and take your stand bravley either to allow him to share or leave him or tecah him a lesson. Be honest whatever you do or chose to do.
good luck
muslims are allowed to have multiple wives, but not all desi muslims have it mostly arabs my question is when they migrate to some country suppose like USA, which allows only one wife with which wife they migrate then:)
the one who doesnt talk so much.....
Re: Multiple Wives
CE 
Why do you open all the old threads that have soo much drama in them - You like to see people go on Round #2, don’t you? 
Re: Multiple Wives
CE got me started 
MatineeS: 1) your posts always amuse me without fail 2) You rather your husband cheats on you, how nice. 3) Be careful what you wish for.
Psyah: Very, very, very eloquently written explanations, Sire. 
p.s. When men leave their wives, some women become anti-polygamy and start saying things like “haan, haan, having four wives shouldn’t be allowed” . Ladies and men, stop it. It’s in the Quraan, how dare you and I say anything otherwise. We all need to humble ourselves a little before we speak about “shoulds” and “shouldn’t-bes”.
Now, time to lighten up! So let’s play “I spy”
I’ll go first, I spy with my little eye someone that’s a gold digger!