Mulaazims.....

[Bobby1]

Re: Mulaazims…

@Illuminate

Not a parent yet or married but at home we all work together.

Parents have treated us with so much care, love and respect and have definitely gone above and beyond their means to keep us happy, healthy and educated. However, they don’t pick up after us and we can’t have much nakhray (even though I try to sometimes :p). We learn to compromise and have ehsaas for each other and mum’s made is clear that we all have our own responsibilities and when the time comes that you may need to pick it up and offer more if another family member needs the extra support.

When parents have done good for their children, the children in return often give back. My parents still take care of my grandparents in many ways and I hope to be able to care for my parents as I am now but more so when they are older.

As long as no one takes advantage of one another and the respect is maintained no harm in caring for each other and going the extra mile. When the mutual ehsaas and respect is lost only then the relationship turns toxic. I’ve learned it’s always important to create those boundaries. Self love is looked down upon sometimes in the desi community but you need to be stable before you can love someone else and give back to them!

You seem to have an awesome family, you are right about self-love and desi culture they want to produce sacrificial lambs, many a time enough is never enough and the more you give the more they feel entitled too. Both my boys train very hard around 15 hrs a week after that I can’t really expect them to chip in for house work. The 18 yr old when he came back to visit he shoveled and helped cleaning and cooking. With our desi friends they took advantage of us and abused our generosity.

Remember you can’t pour from an empty bucket and your bucket needs to be filled also you have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others.

My wife is a source of energy for me and keeps reinvigorating me. A good relationship is like magic.