Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

[madz124]

Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai
Meri palkon pe sunehre khaab do
Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Mere chaara-gar, isi reh-guzar
Chalen kab talak yunhi be-simat
Mujhe apne rung mein rang ke
Sabhi kachche rung utaar do

Mere humsafar, ye udaasiyan
Tere pai’rhan mein ghuli huween
Hon dil se dil ko rasaa’iyaan
Mujhe apne dard udhaar do

Mere hum-nawa, sab rafaaqaten
Hum uboor kar ke zaraa chalen
Main bikhar ke ho gayi be-nishan
Kisi shaam mujhko sanwaar do

Mere mehrubaan, sabhi silsilay
Hain mohabbaton ne bunay hue
Main thandi chaaon hon teri
Mujhe khushbo’oun ki bahaar do

~Pari

[Smoke_N_Mirror]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

@madz124

Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai
Meri palkon pe sunehre khaab do
Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Mere chaara-gar, isi reh-guzar
Chalen kab talak yunhi be-simat
Mujhe apne rung mein rang ke
Sabhi kachche rung utaar do

Mere humsafar, ye udaasiyan
Tere pai’rhan mein ghuli huween
Hon dil se dil ko rasaa’iyaan
Mujhe apne dard udhaar do

Mere hum-nawa, sab rafaaqaten
Hum uboor kar ke zaraa chalen
Main bikhar ke ho gayi be-nishan
Kisi shaam mujhko sanwaar do

Mere mehrubaan, sabhi silsilay
Hain mohabbaton ne bunay hue
Main thandi chaaon hon teri
Mujhe khushbo’oun ki bahaar do

~Pari

Good one. Apki hy?

[muqawwee123]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Poetic :k:

[madz124]

@masoodsarwar:9887313

[quote="“madz124, post:242, topic:304092"”]

Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai
Meri palkon pe sunehre khaab do
Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Mere chaara-gar, isi reh-guzar
Chalen kab talak yunhi be-simat
Mujhe apne rung mein rang ke
Sabhi kachche rung utaar do

Mere humsafar, ye udaasiyan
Tere pai’rhan mein ghuli huween
Hon dil se dil ko rasaa’iyaan
Mujhe apne dard udhaar do

Mere hum-nawa, sab rafaaqaten
Hum uboor kar ke zaraa chalen
Main bikhar ke ho gayi be-nishan
Kisi shaam mujhko sanwaar do

Mere mehrubaan, sabhi silsilay
Hain mohabbaton ne bunay hue
Main thandi chaaon hon teri
Mujhe khushbo’oun ki bahaar do

~Pari

Good one. Apki hy?
[/quote]

Ji

[KKF]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

@madz124

Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai
Meri palkon pe sunehre khaab do
Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Mere chaara-gar, isi reh-guzar
Chalen kab talak yunhi be-simat
Mujhe apne rung mein rang ke
Sabhi kachche rung utaar do

Mere humsafar, ye udaasiyan
Tere pai’rhan mein ghuli huween
Hon dil se dil ko rasaa’iyaan
Mujhe apne dard udhaar do

Mere hum-nawa, sab rafaaqaten
Hum uboor kar ke zaraa chalen
Main bikhar ke ho gayi be-nishan
Kisi shaam mujhko sanwaar do

Mere mehrubaan, sabhi silsilay
Hain mohabbaton ne bunay hue
Main thandi chaaon hon teri
Mujhe khushbo’oun ki bahaar do

~Pari

bahot Khoob…achchhii koshish hai par abhii iskii nok palak saNwaarne meN gunjaaish hai. is kalaam kaa zaraa saa make-up kar deN. Urdu ke mushkil alfaaz aur fiqroN kii aameszish bhali lagii. aapke kalaam meN alfaaz ke aage peechhe karne se ravaanii aur mazeed bahtar ho saktii hai. aap na kalaam likhne ke ba’d use halkii aawaaz meN gungunaa kar dekh liyaa kareN isse ravaanii ko bahtar banaane meN madad milegii. aapko Khud pataa chal jaayegaa k kahan kahaN luknat [paRhne meN zabaan laRkhaRaa jaaye aur ravaanii majrooH ho jaaye] paayii jaatii hai.

zaraa sii meHnat kareN to yeh zameeN baRii zarKhez hai. good job, Madz!

[madz124]

@Khalil KhaaN FaaKhta:9887688

[quote="“madz124, post:242, topic:304092"”]

Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai
Meri palkon pe sunehre khaab do
Mujhe roshanee ki hai justajoo
Mere daaman mein mahtaab do

Mere chaara-gar, isi reh-guzar
Chalen kab talak yunhi be-simat
Mujhe apne rung mein rang ke
Sabhi kachche rung utaar do

Mere humsafar, ye udaasiyan
Tere pai’rhan mein ghuli huween
Hon dil se dil ko rasaa’iyaan
Mujhe apne dard udhaar do

Mere hum-nawa, sab rafaaqaten
Hum uboor kar ke zaraa chalen
Main bikhar ke ho gayi be-nishan
Kisi shaam mujhko sanwaar do

Mere mehrubaan, sabhi silsilay
Hain mohabbaton ne bunay hue
Main thandi chaaon hon teri
Mujhe khushbo’oun ki bahaar do

~Pari

bahot Khoob…achchhii koshish hai par abhii iskii nok palak saNwaarne meN gunjaaish hai. is kalaam kaa zaraa saa make-up kar deN. Urdu ke mushkil alfaaz aur fiqroN kii aameszish bhali lagii. aapke kalaam meN alfaaz ke aage peechhe karne se ravaanii aur mazeed bahtar ho saktii hai. aap na kalaam likhne ke ba’d use halkii aawaaz meN gungunaa kar dekh liyaa kareN isse ravaanii ko bahtar banaane meN madad milegii. aapko Khud pataa chal jaayegaa k kahan kahaN luknat [paRhne meN zabaan laRkhaRaa jaaye aur ravaanii majrooH ho jaaye] paayii jaatii hai.

zaraa sii meHnat kareN to yeh zameeN baRii zarKhez hai. good job, Madz!
[/quote]

Yeh har cheez m gungunaana kahan se aa jata hai?
Have a go at it, kkf, when you have some time plz. To me, everything reads fine except the 2nd line in the poem which I didn’t know how to edit.

[KKF]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

@madz124

Yeh har cheez m gungunaana kahan se aa jata hai?
Have a go at it, kkf, when you have some time plz. To me, everything reads fine except the 2nd line in the poem which I didn’t know how to edit.

lol…gungunaane se hii to pataa chaltaa hai k kalaam meN ravaanii hai yaa nahiiN kiuN k bahot se logoN ko bahr aur vazan kaa pataa nahiiN hotaa hai.

so, jo pahle bole, vo kunDii khole? ok, i’ll try in a couple of days, iA.

[madz124]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

@Khalil KhaaN FaaKhta

lol…gungunaane se hii to pataa chaltaa hai k kalaam meN ravaanii hai yaa nahiiN kiuN k bahot se logoN ko bahr aur vazan kaa pataa nahiiN hotaa hai.

so, jo pahle bole, vo kunDii khole? ok, i’ll try in a couple of days, iA.

LOL that’s right.
Ok I’ll wait.

[mahool]

Re: Mujhe zindagi ki talaash hai

Finger crossed.. who will going to gun gunaing…