Shazia aapkii Nazam paRhii...bahot bhali lagi. Khayaal umda hai, bayaan zaraa saa dheelaa hai...chusti le aaiye to aur mazeed baat bane. uske liye qawaafii, ravaanii aur naGhmagii kaa aHtamaam kareN...gungunaa kar dekh liyaa kareN...yaa...bahot aahista aahista maddham aawaaz ke saath Khud ko paRh kar sunaayeN to aapko pataa chalegaa k kahan kahaN zabaan aTaktii hai ya'nii kahaN kahaN luknat paayii jaatii hai. jaise:
kabhii TooT kar barasna kabhi yuN hii lauT jaanaa kabhi haath ko baRh kar boondoN se khelnaa
etc
Allah kare zor e qalam aur ziyaada :)
u might b right bt 2 tel u the truth i first time wrote in blank verse so nt aware with the rules.thanx 4 the islaah.