BRAIN TUMOR
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I’m dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!
QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN number. Hee, hee!
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN number if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: Four asterisks!
MARRIAGE
Friend: How many women do you believe a man must marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says “4” richer, “4” poorer, “4” better and “4” worse.
MOM
Mr. Bean: (crying) The doctor called, “Mom’s dead”.
Friend: Condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder
Friend: What now?
Mr. Bean: My sister just called, her mom died too!
MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING
Colleague: Sorry I’m late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hours because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too. I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.
SPELLING LESSON
Mr. Bean’s Son: Dad, what is the spelling of ‘successful’ … Is it one ‘c’ or two 'c’s?
Mr. Bean: Make it three 'c’s to be sure!
