first congrats hun i got married in pakistan last dec n seriously i m having gr8 time,its just that i missed my family alot thats the only sad thing about me moving here was,otherwise its fun who told you guys that in pakistan every one is always scrutinising and critiscing seriously come back for a while to ur own homeland its not wat it use to be when ur folks left it
Thank juu, yeh i think thats what im abit scared bout missing my family so much, what am i gunna do without them aaaahhh,
no one told us. i go there first hand and experience it. doesn't matter whether you go to a big city or to a village, people are generally the same. they make each other's lives miserable with all the gossip and backbiting. no one is ever happy for someone's else's achievement, they just want to out-do each other and put the other person down. most people (especially the women) just spend 99% of their time preoccupied with what everyone else is thinking about them and their family. you're very lucky if you have managed to avoid this so far. anyway this is going slightly off-topic i think.
aali.m i wouldn't change yourself to 'deal' with these situations and people. just stay how you are! i get really annoyed too, at home i wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut but the best policy over there is just to ignore everything. people might say you're simple and don't know anything (in terms of how to act) but it's better than the alternative. it also really depends on your family. if the family that you're marrying into (and the rest of your family and their family friends) aren't like this then you'll be fine and don't have anything to worry about :)
yeh thats what i was thinking to jus keep my mouth shut and ignore, my in laws jus fine jus other people u kno the ones who like to know everyone's buisness and and likes to put people down...
Congratulations!
My advice to you would be that while you are in the UK, get your academic qualifications or job training to allow you to get a good job in Pakistan as soon as you get there... and KEEP WORKING after that.
That way, in case you have issues with the lifestyle, place, people, family, whatever, you will always have something of your own that makes you happy and gives you a paycheck, some freedom of movement and thought and will take your mind of any troubles. Being independent is the key.
Oh yeh ill defently be finishing my studying then goin, i wnt be working out there as they are quite wealthy and have there own buisness, but i will look into if they could give me any work for there buisness which i think there quite keen on me doing..! bcoz ive ben working ever since i was 16 and used to my own money soo how am i gunna ask my hubby to be for money that is gonna b so akward for me...:s
Re: Moving to Pakistan..!
The question just came to my mind that how do you grls ask ur hubby for the money within the few years of marriage..?
Hey guppies, Inshallah I'll be getting married next year, Ive been engaged for over a year now. My fiance is my cuzins son and we really get along, and after we get married ill be moving to Pakistan, Ill be coming back to England every year as they have a house out here and they come here every year for holidays. I was wondering if any of you girls could give me some advice... thanks i would really appreciate from a lil bit scared but happy guppy.. <3
wauw, thats a brave step u r taking. I pray that all goes well with u inshaAllah:-)
I have lived in DHA Lahore for 6 months and believe me I didnt miss anyone in the beginning. I found it so cool to able to go endless shopping and do cool stuff there. But the more I stayed there, the more I missed being back. Its not that I wasnt independent. In fact, I was way too independent there, going out alone, sometimes even during evenings and still nothing happened. I was though uncomfortable and didnt feel secure when it got dark and if I was still out alone.
Lifestyle in DHA is cool if u have money - enough to live like a queen. but at the end of the day I felt I would rather live an average life back home instead of living there. It was due to the people. the thing is that some ppl in pk have misunderstood the concept of being modern. they think they are modern if they wear less clothes and show as much skin as possible in that society and show off their money, but when it really matters they are all the same jahil kind of ppl..they just hide it well. of course u will be able to find nice and sincere ppl there too but my experience so far has been quiet dissappointing!!
I didnt mean to scare u.just sharing my own experience:)
wauw, thats a brave step u r taking. I pray that all goes well with u inshaAllah:-)
I have lived in DHA Lahore for 6 months and believe me I didnt miss anyone in the beginning. I found it so cool to able to go endless shopping and do cool stuff there. But the more I stayed there, the more I missed being back. Its not that I wasnt independent. In fact, I was way too independent there, going out alone, sometimes even during evenings and still nothing happened. I was though uncomfortable and didnt feel secure when it got dark and if I was still out alone.
Lifestyle in DHA is cool if u have money - enough to live like a queen. but at the end of the day I felt I would rather live an average life back home instead of living there. It was due to the people. the thing is that some ppl in pk have misunderstood the concept of being modern. they think they are modern if they wear less clothes and show as much skin as possible in that society and show off their money, but when it really matters they are all the same jahil kind of ppl..they just hide it well. of course u will be able to find nice and sincere ppl there too but my experience so far has been quiet dissappointing!!
I didnt mean to scare u.just sharing my own experience:)
yeh thats what i was thinkin it will be great living it up but wont i get bored after a while..? r u from the UK?, yeh i kno ppl like to show off there money there but im really not like that...so i take it D.H.A ppl r not tht nice..? :s
mayb i might c u there...!
Thank juu, yeh i think thats what im abit scared bout missing my family so much, what am i gunna do without them aaaahhh,
yea its pretty hard first few months of my marriage were terrible,u know its nice to have ur mother around just so u can discuss things like ur mil,sil etc basically small issues,n she was so far away i did nt want her to worry..so i was n my own n sometimes felt like an alien,n for some odd reason my mil wuld rub it on my face everytime that i dont know how things are done here..but its not that bad:)
lol
the whole of pakistan wants to move here
and ure goin there?
Hey guppies, Inshallah I'll be getting married next year, Ive been engaged for over a year now. My fiance is my cuzins son and we really get along, and after we get married ill be moving to Pakistan, Ill be coming back to England every year as they have a house out here and they come here every year for holidays. I was wondering if any of you girls could give me some advice... thanks i would really appreciate from a lil bit scared but happy guppy.. <3
wow congratulations...im thinking of doing something like that..living in pakistan (lahore) full time with husband (fiance right now) and coming back here every year or so..my immediate family and my aunt (dads sis) and mamo's families are here the rest are in pakistan..my parents are thinking of retiring to pakistan in the years to come...inshallah..
i dont think u should be scared as u say u are living in DHA lahore..and the area is pretty westernised..it would be rather scary if you were going to live in the villiage i have to say....im not going to lie i do think u will miss the independance but times are always changing who knows what will be able to do..ur never going to know until u stay there...but i mean it could be worse instead of living in the city u could be in the village..and i dont know bout u but thats not really my cup of tea..
i think as far as advice goes.....i think ur pretty much all set...u can get most uk comforts in pak..u know like the right tomato ketchup and the right crisps lol..!
and remember if u are in love u could live anywhere in the world in any condition as long as u have the man u love by your side...:D
first congrats hun i got married in pakistan last dec n seriously i m having gr8 time,its just that i missed my family alot thats the only sad thing about me moving here was,otherwise its fun who told you guys that in pakistan every one is always scrutinising and critiscing seriously come back for a while to ur own homeland its not wat it use to be when ur folks left it
Thats so true. In fact its pretty much the opposite.. take this forum for an example.You will find a zillion threads created by Pakistanis living abroad on every little tiny itsy bitsy nature aspects of desis and Pakistan. Hardly, you would find that any of the locals create a thread criticising the life style of Pakistanis abroad. This itself tells how much if at all the habit of scrutinising and criticising is in Pakistanis here.
Stopit,
I dont really agree that they make each other's lives miserable.if you are talking about the saas-bahuu stuff thats not really specific to living in pakistan. I think it varies from city to city, family to family and of course education. People from developed cities like Islamabad, Karachi, Lahore are considered the more open minded and flexible. As for out-doing each other and not happy for some one else's achievement this part i really havent experienced at all even though i have been living here for years. If i am successful in my studies, my job, or any success story of my siblings -- the entire family relatives pour into our house with mithais and wishes. Not just family but friends and acquantainces wish us so much. You can see it in their eyes who is happy for you and who isnt. Masha Allah i have been blessed with great personalities around me.
Since i have to move to Australia after marriage i find it even more disturbing that i will have to live in such a culture. People say there are many Pakistani communities in Australia, Uk, Us etc. but what is disturbing is that those Pakistanis are now very different from us. I am not generalising all but yes there are peple of every type. Their brought up is different, they think differently, what they find normal is something big for us, the trend of saying 'oh please not pakistan' 'because she is a pakistani' ' please no one from pakistan', the feeling of superiority that people abroad have developed and such things are very disturbing too.Many of my acquantainces who have gone abroad have later found that their spouse is in to drinking, womenising, gambling etc. I myself find those things much much more disturbing. But in the end the main factor is that if you are happy with your spouse the location really doesnt matter much. It is a big jump for me to shift to australia too but it is for him then i am very happy because that is what matters to me. If he is with me i dont care where we live!
lol
the whole of pakistan wants to move here
and ure goin there?
well yes im going there....and i dont know why the whole of pakistan wants to move here ..? so they can go on the social get council houses and then do taxi work at night...they think live will get easier over here but does it?
wow congratulations...im thinking of doing something like that..living in pakistan (lahore) full time with husband (fiance right now) and coming back here every year or so..my immediate family and my aunt (dads sis) and mamo's families are here the rest are in pakistan..my parents are thinking of retiring to pakistan in the years to come...inshallah..
i dont think u should be scared as u say u are living in DHA lahore..and the area is pretty westernised..it would be rather scary if you were going to live in the villiage i have to say....im not going to lie i do think u will miss the independance but times are always changing who knows what will be able to do..ur never going to know until u stay there...but i mean it could be worse instead of living in the city u could be in the village..and i dont know bout u but thats not really my cup of tea..
i think as far as advice goes.....i think ur pretty much all set...u can get most uk comforts in pak..u know like the right tomato ketchup and the right crisps lol..!
and remember if u are in love u could live anywhere in the world in any condition as long as u have the man u love by your side...:D
exactly what i was thinking i dont think i could move there if i was going to live in a village then would be too much for me...! im so lucky to be living in DHA lahore, but thank God i'll be coming back to UK wach year to see my family :) im so grateful for that bcoz some ppl dont get to see there family for years...
well yes im going there....and i dont know why the whole of pakistan wants to move here ..? so they can go on the social get council houses and then do taxi work at night...they think live will get easier over here but does it?
No. That is not the reason they want to move there. People are aware that life is tough there too. The reasons they want me to move are:
1. Life security - pretty much endangered these days
2. Political instability of the country
3. Better income
4. Better education
5. More job opportunities
6. Better standard of living overall
exactly what i was thinking i dont think i could move there if i was going to live in a village then would be too much for me...! im so lucky to be living in DHA lahore, but thank God i'll be coming back to UK wach year to see my family :) im so grateful for that bcoz some ppl dont get to see there family for years...
Not even the villagers of Pakistan live in the villages themselves. :p So many people have moved to the cities for better incomes. No one will make you live in a village.
Seriously everyone please come and visit Pakistan, specially the developed cities, to know how much Pakistan has developed over the years. There is very little concept of living in villages now.
Congratulations!
My advice to you would be that while you are in the UK, get your academic qualifications or job training to allow you to get a good job in Pakistan as soon as you get there... and KEEP WORKING after that.
^ Agree. Make sure you finish your studies and get a degree from UK. Then you can look for all types of jobs in Lahore etc to keep you busy e.g there are so many good schools always looking for English teachers with the British accent etc. They love the accent! Lol!
Congratulations as well and wish you all the best. :)
well yes im going there....and i dont know why the whole of pakistan wants to move here ..? so they can go on the social get council houses and then do taxi work at night...they think live will get easier over here but does it?
agreed!!! i mean if u are able to live a comfortable life in pakistan....why not? id dont know bout u guys but id rather live a comfortable life abroad rather than working my ass of here and sending most the money back home...right?
^ Agree. Make sure you finish your studies and get a degree from UK. Then you can look for all types of jobs in Lahore etc to keep you busy e.g there are so many good schools always looking for English teachers with the British accent etc. They love the accent! Lol!
Congratulations as well and wish you all the best. :)
Lol, well actually thats a really good idea about being an english teacher might look into that!
agreed!!! i mean if u are able to live a comfortable life in pakistan....why not? id dont know bout u guys but id rather live a comfortable life abroad rather than working my ass of here and sending most the money back home...right?
yeh totally, I mean if there are people who want to make something of themselves thats good but dont just come here to get benifets and sit back. Ive seen many people like that..
well yes im going there....and i dont know why the whole of pakistan wants to move here ..? so they can go on the social get council houses and then do taxi work at night...they think live will get easier over here but does it?
u know what im talking about lol
people come from Pakistan expecting an easy life here...
then they get a reality check when their working 70 hours a week in a desi chicken shop/groceries/off license
Hey guppies, Inshallah I'll be getting married next year, Ive been engaged for over a year now. My fiance is my cuzins son and we really get along, and after we get married ill be moving to Pakistan, Ill be coming back to England every year as they have a house out here and they come here every year for holidays. I was wondering if any of you girls could give me some advice... thanks i would really appreciate from a lil bit scared but happy guppy.. <3
if you are liberal minded and have been living there for too long, then please stay away from this country. the people here are too judgemental. and it will be hard for you to cope with them.