Here is my dilemma,
I applied to Universities in my city (Toronto) and outside. Allhumdullilah, I got acceptances from everywhere. However, the university which I want to go to, where I can see myself, and where my heart actually is, is a few hours away from Toronto. My parents have given me permission to move out and everything is settled. BUT I still haven’t accepted my offer. There is something that is stopping me. I have two younger siblings and I don’t want to live without them. Everyone is telling me and I understand that it is not a big deal. Uni ends in april, so I will be with them for 4-5 months. For the time when I am away I will still visit them 1-2 times a month and I will get to come home during reading weeks (they are 1 week) as well as winter holidays (3 weeks).
The deadline for accepting the offer is approaching soon, I know I want to go there but I can’t seem to decide. I am stuck between education and family. What do I do? How do I satisfy myself that I will be close to my family still.
Help me out. The pros and cons of living alone would be great as well.
Pros:
-You'll have an opportunity to be more involved in uni events, clubs and extracurricular activities .
-You won't have to worry about having to commute everyday. Long commutes to class won't wear you out and you'll have more study and leisure time.
-It'll be easier for you to get to class regardless of when the class is scheduled.
-You can head back to your dorm during the gaps between classes.
-You'll probably have more opportunities to participate in study sessions and tutoring groups at school with people in your program.
Cons:
-You'll have to pay for residence fees and meal plans so it'll probably be more expensive to live in rez.
-You'll be far away from your family and will likely feel homesick initially.
-You might have to share your accommodation with a complete stranger and will probably have less privacy. Dealing with a roommate could be an unpleasant experience.
Have you gone on campus tours of the universities you're choosing from? Does one university have a more renowned program than the others? Since you seem to have your heart set on one uni in particular, you'll just have to decide whether or not you think you can adjust to living away from home. I'm in the exact situation as you right now but I think I'm gonna settle for the uni closer to home. :p
Well i suggest you moving out. I do understand that you have special bond with family and can't live without them but living alone will teach you a lot. There are many girls who live by themselves for their education and since you are not baby anymore you need to learn next phase of life. Choose education, insha'allah your family will always be there to support you. And this is the same advice i have given to my baby sister as well. Wish you best.
**we had exactly the same situation that you find yourself in. i have a nephew and a niece. Their elder sister was hesitent to move to Kingston, Ontario for her med school. she was also accepted at U of T but she really didn't like the hustle and bustle of Toronto. she said exactly the same thing that she didn't wanna go far away from her siblings. Kingston is like 7 hours drive from where we live. i offered to drive her back N forth every other weekend and on holidays or if she wanted i could pay her airfare once every month. she opted for the ride and finally moved to Kingston. i fulfilled my commitment and gave her ride to and from her university every other weekend...almost! she finally finished her MD and moved back to a city closer to us. :)
so, it's ok to move. living on-campus prepares you well for life's challenges that everyone has to face one day. the earlier the exposure to outside world the better it is.
now, both her siblings have also moved out and they live on-campus in dorms. They love the life away from home...more independant! :)
When I went to uni I wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted to live independently, uni life in that respect is meant to be different from school life because it prepares you for the outside world. I had gotten into LUMS locally but my dad didn't want me sitting around coasting through education, he actually encouraged me to move somewhere away from home. When I think about it, living with my friends was probably the best time of my life. Siblings will be with you for life, uni is a once in a lifetime experience.
When I went to uni I wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted to live independently, uni life in that respect is meant to be different from school life because it prepares you for the outside world. I had gotten into LUMS locally but my dad didn't want me sitting around coasting through education, he actually encouraged me to move somewhere away from home. When I think about it, living with my friends was probably the best time of my life. Siblings will be with you for life, uni is a once in a lifetime experience.
When I think about it, living with my friends was probably the best time of my life. Siblings will be with you for life, uni is a once in a lifetime experience.
Golden words .... thats how i would describe the experience too ..
do what you are comfortable doing and go to a place where you think you will excel. if you do move out, you can keep in touch with your fam and visit often?
I think there's nothing more important to learn to live independantly whether you're a man or a woman, so that's your chance and you should take it, you will learn so much from being away from the family, i have 6 nieces and nephews and I had to live in a different country for my education for 2 years, at first, i was really sad and kinda depressed because i found myself all alone in a country i know nothing of, but looking back i'd do it again because it really built my personality :)
Go! I understand your hesitation, especially in regards to the siblings. But they will survive. Once you've moved, you'll wonder how you ever thought about not going.
I live alone for uni and it has been a great experience, i have learnt so much about myself and the big bad world and i have gained experiences which i would have never have gained living at home.
Definately go. I left my younger siblings in the hands of my step mother and father to move out to uni. They didnt have the best experience and niether did I, but it made us who we are today - strong, independent, can cope with all sorts of sh*t kind of adults. Your siblings are with your parents, you're not abandoning them. Sometimes you have to let go to watch things grow - hehe or something cheesy to that effect. If it's the whole 'we are so close' thing, you can call, text, msn, skype, FB, ping, whatsapp, even write them letters!
Uni is much more than studying, it's an experience.
Hey,
Thanks a lot! I have really appreciated all the feedback that I have gotten from all of you. It has helped me. I have made my decision and that is that I am moving out! :)
