A niece of mine has broken off a relationship after 7 years, basically a long distance relationship does not involves much personal contacts, lot of phone calls and msn chats.
There is now problem between them, but a family rivalry becomes big issue, I do blame them as they were aware of family issues but both went into it with their eyes open in disguise of just a normal friendship.
Since we believe on this friendship story and also does not want our children to carry on with this rivalry (I believe the guy parents also like her and hoping for things to improve before proposing the Rishta, which did not happened)
I am concern about emotional scare would be much bigger for her to heal in short span of time. And as our culture the girl should marry within certain age, and she has wasted a large part of her early youth for the person.
She is asking her family to leave her on her own for at least 6 months to overcome it, as she could not think of new relationship right now:-
I am wondering if things could be normal for her again in such a short period?
Is it all right for family to leave her to decide, or actively find other Rishta for her?
How it would it affect her next relationship or life after marriage?
Personally I do not find anything to ashamed about this relationship, but is it ok to tell other prospective about this so called baggage?
I don't think it's necessary to tell any of the prospectives about her past/"baggage." She only spoke to the guy, did not personally meet much.
I don't think the family should actively find a rishta for her. She must be stressed and a rishta will only add pressure. If she has any fears of a future relationship, she won't be able to properly talk or give a prospective a chance.
She is saying 6 months right now, but it could take less- if she is given space, if a rishta is not brought up with her, and if she makes herself busy. Let her be as depressed and angry as much as possible right now- it's good for her. Let her drown herself in ice cream, chocolate, movies, and TV. She should spend time with her friends who care about her and won't keep asking about her past relationship. And the fmily shoud be happy around her too- not talk about her wasting her youth away. One day, soon, inshAllah, she'll wake up one and realize she's ready to move on and give someone a chance.
If the new relations is more powerful (loving, caring, sharing, listening etc) then she'll definately overcome to it. The new person should aware from her past and he should keep her happiest then ever to get ride on her past and its work
if she really really moved on then no need to bring in the past relationships, especially if she her "intentions were honest" with the people in her past relationships.
If the new relations is more powerful (loving, caring, sharing, listening etc) then she'll definately overcome to it. The new person should aware from her past and he should keep her happiest then ever to get ride on her past and its work
Thanks.
· She has no new relationship, at this moment not in the right frame of mind to find new one.
· Regardless her feeling, the fact was this relationship does not went beyond telecommunication and chat (they only meet when she visit Pakistan but not much).
· So there was no BF/ GF relationship, no dating, Is this consider and significant relationship needed to disclose?
· If she is going to find next one, she might confess herself, but in case of semi arrange marriage it is not customary to tell these all.
I am more concern about impact on her future happiness.
Zobia! I think the person who will b with her should knw her past. Its better u s'up truth in the begining rather then he'll knw from some1 else later and this will cause negatively
Tipusultan!
The best part in the human body is 'tongue'
The worst part in the human body is 'tongue'