Like all you parents, we are also blessed with amazing kids, but every now and then, they pick and choose from the food they want to eat. Like our little one prefers to eat non-desi and whenever mom cooks regular food, she asks if she can have butter pasta or mac&cheese instead. Older one likes desi food, but doesn’t like to eat the crust of bread or Pizza and always leave them.
We keep telling them to be grateful of all the blessings that Allah has given us and happily eat (and finish) what is on the plate. I also remind them of all the kids in the world, who probably won’t have 10 percent of what we get in terms of food.
Lately, this (negative) motivation started to bother me more than it should make my kids grateful. I feel very insensitive when asking my kids to finish their Pizza/Sandwich/Biryani by reminding them of kids who are hunting garbage bins for food. I recently read (while having lunch) that in this world, a person dies every 3.6 seconds because of hunger, and most of them are kids under the age of 5. I literally choked on my food out of emotions after reading that.
I am not sure how you parents motivate your kids to be grateful about the food that you have on your table, but do you think that the regular spiel of “thousands of kids in this world sleep hungry most of the nights” is really not a right way to motivate your kids? How should I motivate my kids instead?
BTW, I can’t use “ I work very hard to put food on this table, so you better be grateful”. I feel very cheesy saying that. All parents do and should work hard for their kids. I am not doing them a favor, so can’t use that line.
no choices. this is dinner, eat or leave. (and then man up and stand your ground when they go to bed hungry, thats the hardest part)
smaller portions you know they will be able to finish. they can always ask for more.
we all have preferences. there are a few things we dont like to eat, no point forcing a kid to either. granted the kid doesnt hate everything. my son abhors lentils and beans. but otherwise is a good eater. i dont make those 2 items for him. thats the only time he gets a second choice.
crust. aaah... everyones enemy. try adding toppings right to the edge. i know this leaves no place to hold the pizza so i cut up the pizza and eat with fork. unless they dont mind their hands getting dirty. kids usually leave it.out.cuz its hard, bland, or dry.
teaching kids about famine only works when they can see what it means. soup kitchens and charity food drives is where they can see what its all about... otherwise, our kids dont see proverty as such ... they cant comprehend what it all means.
First part, no can do, in fact advice every parent not to send kids bed hungry. Its really hurtful to their self esteem. My mom did that once to me, and I remember crying whole night in my bed, not because of hunger, but for the fact that how could my own mother send me to bed without food. Not a good feeling, I am telling you.
Smaller portions, totally agree - in fact we practice that both for us and our kids. That is why I very cautiously used the “finish your food” stance in my original post and focused more on being grateful.
On a side note, a read an study few years ago that the reason of increased obesity in post war generations is abundance of food, and parents insistence to kids to finish their plates.
Volunteering, as both S02 and Khawa mentioned, is an excellent idea.
We grew up as very picky eaters but my husband is not. I've noticed he finishes his meal and mine if I am leaving food on my plate. He will not throw away food for the same reasons you've mentioned TLK.
Apparently, his mom had zero tolerance for picky eaters. No special meals for anyone seeing as there were 8 of them. She lives by the "eat what I've made and finish it or leave" theory.
First part, no can do, in fact advice every parent not to send kids bed hungry. Its really hurtful to their self esteem. My mom did that once to me, and I remember crying whole night in my bed, not because of hunger, but for the fact that how could my own mother send me to bed without food. Not a good feeling, I am telling you.
Smaller portions, totally agree - in fact we practice that both for us and our kids. That is why I very cautiously used the "finish your food" stance in my original post and focused more on being grateful.
On a side note, a read an study few years ago that the reason of increased obesity in post war generations is abundance of food, and parents insistence to kids to finish their plates..
That's the first thing that came to mind when I read this. But honestly, if the kids aren't at danger of being overweight/obese, then it's probably OK to use that argument. Or give htem smaller portions like khawa said.
To be honest, I was VERY picky as a child. As an adult, I've gotten less picky about food, the things I hated as a child, I love now....not sure what triggered it but there you go.
Also, most pizza crusts/bread crusts are bleh and hard to eat. Hell even most adults don't like them I think
I also keep giving theses lectures of being grateful, every now and then,. But I have noticed, they don't really get it.
We don't celebrate birthdays as such but normally do special charity on that day. Once for my younger sons birthday, I got to know about this organisation which hands out free meals to needy people at PIMS, Islamabad. I took my son there and for the first time ever, I myself saw free meals being given out WITH RESPECT. it was such a moving sight for me and my son. Here in Pakistan I know many charity set ups giving meals and all but the difference with this team was they were doing it very gracefully. Their volunteers lay out proper dastarkhwan and plates and everyone gets their meal served at their place without any mismanagement. PIMS is a government run hospital and people from far off places come there. Most attendants of patients are needy and it was quite overwhelming to see this. This organisation has been doing it every single day for quite many years now.
This was a good lesson for my son when he saw first hand, what's the value of food for most people around us.
Mere lectures simply can't do the job, IMHO.
Besides, I'm also the type who insisted that you can't refuse a meal when it's on table. We discuss our weekly menu in advance and I normally try to include their choices within reason but once a meal is there, you have to eat it. There's no second choice.
I have the same problem as you TLK....I can't send her to bed hungry. No way. Never. She is not an unreasonable child and never does zidd so when she says that she doesn't feel like eating something, I know that she means it. And I think of the times that I was, quite simply, not hungry for what ammi had made.
My remedy is to give her a very small portion of whatever is made for the family. She is required to, at the very least, "taste" what everyone is having and then fend for herself in terms of an alternative. Even if tasting means only a few bites.
I do make a point of volunteering at the food bank and she is often helping me with that so she knows first-hand what hunger is about right here in our own city. I think that makes more sense to her than the lectures about Ethiopian children dying from hunger.
