Mothers

Re: Mothers

So you're assuming something IS wrong with your bhabhi and your mother just hasn't mentioned anything? Maybe nothing 'bad' has come up regarding your bhabi and your mother hasn't had any reason to say something negative or complain about her. I feel as if you're WAITING to hear something negative about your bhabhi.....weird.

Re: Mothers

Wow..... Talk bout reading in between the lines.

We dont live in heaven. Its impossible for 2 ppl to agree about everything.... Its not even a sil mil dil fil thing.... Its a human thing. It would be a lie if i were to say my mil and i dont argue....just like im sure my mother and my bhabi probably do too.... Thats not the issue....

Ive already said my mom doesnt discuss the nitty gritty of whats goin on back home with me and we both like it like that. Regardless if theres anything bad or not.

Re: Mothers

Sometimes its just a misunderstanding between two people and sometimes you just need to get something off your chest. From your posts, it seems as if you think nands only wanna ruin the lives of their bhabhi and mother and make it all worse? That is IMO not always the case, yes some girls may have their mothers around the fingers and some mothers do also have their daughters around the fingers, but when two people are able to discuss openly as a mother and a daughter, I dont know why one would try to manipulate the other.

I dont think you always go to others to have advice or solutions either, sometimes you just need to talk it off with someone else and start on a fresh and in that case, I think a mother should talk to her daughter. As a DIL I would definitely prefer that my MIL talks it off with her daughter, who even if she is living away, is a part of the family and if she is close enough to the family, she will feel the tension, if it is a bigger one, rather than she talks it off with some friends of hers, who def. will only make things worse. We all know how the desi aunty system works, their only mission is to make an ant into an elephant.

Of course I agree, there is no need for the MIL to talk about everyday git pit with her daughter, because that happens in every relationship, but again if she is the type who needs to get it off her chest, then daughter is the way. In this case, I think a daughter should also know her mother is just venting out and not make things worse than they are ..

I know of mothers who have this need to talk it off, but they dont do it, because they dont want to tense their daughter etc etc. Kuddos to these mothers, but I have seen how miserable they are too.. and sometimes the limit is just exceeded and they vent all out with friends whom they should have never trusted. These friends then only makes it worse..

Re: Mothers

Very good input.

So ure mom vents to u.... Listening is one thing.... How do u offer help? Have there been times where uve told ure mom She is in the wrong? Thats if its gone beyond just listening....or do u try to get ure bhabi involved and try to patch rhings up between the dil and mil. How does ure bhabi react to this?

And no.... I dont think nands are evil....how can i.... Im one myself :)

There would be no point in me discussing a topic if i had already made my mind up about the ...well....topic.

Just for sugar purposes.... My friend's momand her bhBi het along well mashallah....her mom is a neat freak... Her bhabi isnt....cleans up but not like her mil....mother vents to friend quite a bit.... Friend is aware her mom is obsessive about cleaning and tells mom off.... Mom has stopped venting bout the cleaning.

So no....not all daughters are out there to create bad atmo a their parents home.....

can nands plz not get worked up over this thread.... Im putting ideas fwd....argue for or against... Simple..... Why take it personally? I as a nand didnt when the aunty said what she said.

Re: Mothers

So true, my mom and her sisters actually call my grandma "aapa". Don't know why/when that started but I've never heard them refer to their mom as anything else.

Re: Mothers

i dont see what's wrong with a mother calling her to discuss the "nitty gritty" as long as its not like star plus plotting or malicious, maybe bahu topics just come up and dont always have to be negative.