I didn’t want to derail the other thread by Dushwari but it seems like a lot of mothers are ticked off when their children (especially girls) have the doors of their rooms shut. It bugs them. My question is **Why? What are some of the reasons that you are given, if any?
**In our house, mom didn’t have a problem with shut doors, neither for us brothers nor for the sister.
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^ same here, no problems with privacy. i guess b/c our parents come form a culture where privacy is not a very high priority, esp among families (except for newlyweds).. and it's the same at my in laws house, i've never herad of a problem with closed door...
but strangely enough, i once stayed at my friend's house..and she said that in her family they dont even lock the bahtroom door (they weren't desi/muslim) .. :S
Re: …Mothers’ Problem With Shut Doors…
i can’t speak for anyone else, but i think in our humble abode all i can put it down to, is my large collection of trashy horror comics my mam wants to catch me reading. 
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my mom never did that
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neither did my mom:)
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Shikra bhai, it was a diff topic altogether - of women as Moms due their privacy when they are breast feeding.
this topic of adolescents keeping their rooms' doors closed in a diff one.
lost of reasons can be attributed to parents been a bit uneasy when th doors are closed by growing teens.
yes, they do also ned to grow up healthy and with their privacy.
but when kids become withdrawn socially or are on the ph or using internet or reading something inappripriate, then at in my training as an educator and child psychology scholar, i know that it is an issue with growing up teens now a days.
and the best way to handle it to interface the parents with their teen children and make them both preset the limits around this issue.
of course when kids are doing h.w. , they would need to keep their room's door partially closed for less noise to go into the room.
i guess the motehrs dont want 2 give the daughters any opportunity 2 b able 2 hide anything 4rm them..mayb its a control thing since mainly the mothers do this..especially with young teenage daughters whom they probably see as impressionable and gullible.
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I was allowed to close my door but wasnt allowed to lock it.
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i am the only girl and i have two brothers and i spend most of my time in my room and my door is always closed and my mom really doesnt mind it..
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You know growing up my mother had the same problem. My father couldnt care less whether the door was closed or open, locked or unlocked, but my mother used to have a fit. It was ok if it was closed, but all hell broke loose if she found it locked. She was like "ghar main jandray lagga kay baithi ho, kitna burra lagta hai, sharam karo..." Her reasoning was that it looks weird to separate yourself from the rest of the family and lock yourself away, and that if you made a habit of it and did that in your in-laws home people would make "kahi kism ki baatain".... I still kept it locked anyway :D
You know growing up my mother had the same problem. My father couldnt care less whether the door was closed or open, locked or unlocked, but my mother used to have a fit. It was ok if it was closed, but all hell broke loose if she found it locked. She was like "ghar main jandray lagga kay baithi ho, kitna burra lagta hai, sharam karo..." Her reasoning was that it looks weird to** separate yourself from the rest of the family and lock yourself away*, and that if you made a habit of it and **did that in your in-laws home* people would make "kahi kism ki baatain".... I still kept it locked anyway :D
know what? lots of ladies do that in their in-laws homes...lolz..its the only way that they can stay there n still stay sane probably! hmmm..not a bad idea if ever the need arised.. lol ;)
^off topic, but soni, gosh u have such negative views towards inlaws, how come? you have had such bad personal experience that you cannot see beyond them? its really sad to read all this inlaw bashing by you, cuz you know wht dear, one day you will be someones inlaw too and only God knows that kinda view they hold for you! .. tsk tsk .. grow up!
Topic ..
My mum doesnt have a problem with closed door but she seems to mind if its locked I think. We dont lock doors at home. I think the reason she tolerates my closed door is cuz she knows I'm studying and need some peace.. Personally I find it weird when people have their doors closed like all the time saying its for private reasons yet they dont mind if someone else is cleaning and hoovering in their room lolz ..
Shikra bhai, it was a diff topic altogether - of women as Moms due their privacy when they are breast feeding.
this topic of adolescents keeping their rooms' doors closed in a diff one.
lost of reasons can be attributed to parents been a bit uneasy when th doors are closed by growing teens.
yes, they do also ned to grow up healthy and with their privacy.
but when kids become withdrawn socially or are on the ph or using internet or reading something inappripriate, then at in my training as an educator and child psychology scholar, i know that it is an issue with growing up teens now a days.
and the best way to handle it to interface the parents with their teen children and make them both preset the limits around this issue.
of course when kids are doing h.w. , they would need to keep their room's door partially closed for less noise to go into the room.
Dushi jee,
I realize that these are 2 different topics, hence I opened a new thread instead of derailing yours :) Thank you for your input and it makes perfect sense. Although, do you agree with mothers' decision? Or would you think that they need to trust their daughters and let them have their doors shut?
I know my wife will have more say in this when we have kids, but I will trust my kids by default until they break it. The day they break it, they will not be able to earn it back and I will make it clear to them.
Thank you girls for your input as well. So it seems like moms have problem with locked doors, not so much with shut doors.
sweetmoi, i was talking about other girl's experiences iv seen..like my cousins n freidns n extended family and stuff.. not my self, im not even married yet..and u may not like to hear these things but a lot of women do have such experiences and when i see them I wILL discuss them whther u or anybody else likes it or not and i have every right 2 do so. u need to act like an adult by baardashing the reality u hear.
and besides i was joking..so u need to learn to take a joke and lighten up!
sweetmoi, i was talking about other girl's experiences iv seen..like my cousins n freidns n extended family and stuff.. not my self, im not even married yet..and u may not like to hear these things but a lot of women do have such experiences and when i see them I wILL discuss them whther u or anybody else likes it or not and i have every right 2 do so. u need to act like an adult by baardashing the reality u hear.
The reality? What you present is not the reality, it is your point of view coming through other people, from whom you probably only heard their version. And I'm totally capable of cooping the reality, but it seems like you are not. You tend to have very negative thoughts abt inlaws in all topics and its just depressing to read.. especially since you are not even married and because your posts come across as "statements" and "facts" ..
Ps. Yes sure you are joking .. :p
my post(#11) was made in a very light joking manner(hence the lol..?)..i think u r taking it waay 2 personally..adn by the way..life is not a bed of roses..so you dont need to freak out like a child every time u hear such things.
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^I'm not taking anything personally (why should I? I'm not ur inlaw :p), I'm just wondering/asking why u have such negative views. Yet you seem to be attacking back each time instead of just reflecting a bit. After all I'm reacting on ur post(s), so perhaps u are showing a negative attitude. Beside I'm not the one freaking out. But you seem to be :p .. Byebye! Uff tauba
Unfortunately I dont have a lock on my door…and when my door is shut my mom is always curious to know what I’m doing inside (sleeping, studying, on the computer or on the phone). She doesn’t mind it being shut but it really annoys me when she would just peak in to see what I’m doing and shut it back 
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Well if you are a guy, mother will assume you are doing that one thing guys love to do. Never figured out why that one thing is considered bad, but I think that is one reason.
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My mom actually reminds me ot lock my door at night.. :@: