Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
hmmm...my mother told me of a family where first mother has her second marriage, and afterwards she also has her daughter marry her step son.
and she is really hard on her daughter. so she is a mil not a mother.
well all i can say is life is strange. instead of focusing on pleasing other people, we should please Almighty ALLAH SWT. HE SWT can change anyone at anytime to test us/comfort us.
Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
hmm believe it or not but I've seen different behaviors towards their own daughters and daughter in laws. Like my MIL is sooooo caring and never tries to scold her own daughters when they are in the kitchen but to me she is totally different whenever it comes to my pain and my method of work in the kitchen. I've only one brother and he is not married yet, i cannot say anything that how my mom will behave to my bhabhi but to me she is nice and gentle plus she never even lets me say anything to her servants and other people, she never encourages me if I say something harsh about the other people so I won't believe if i would hear something about her misbehavior towards bhabhi. lets see.
Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
Other day I went into the kitchen..... My mother told me some task to do she was there as well. When I started working on that task, my mother started telling me how to do that.... I got confused, i thought my mothers method was too complicated so i started doing it in my own way........ and what happened next was... My mother got angry on me because i was not following her instructions and ask me to leave the kitchen. I was like "Ammi main ker rahi hoon na bas app mujhy yeh bata dein k kitny glasses loon" but she was all angry on me and told me sort of "get lost"... i got angry too. From the way back from kitchen i said to my eldest sister that "acha howa humara koi bhai nahin hai werna humari ammi bhi typical saas hoti". Yes my one of elder sisters oftentimes says this that our mom is just like MIL who wants her DIL should do everything according to her 30 or 40 yrs old rules"
And most of the moms is like that.. i think so.. what do you think?.. Its just my mom and every other mother is like that.... and then we complain only about MIL's. Our mothers are one who feeds this in our minds "apny ghar ja ker apni marzi sey ghar set kerna"
You are 100% right that mothers and mothess in law are same in nature. But baat khatam is point par hoti hay k maan ka kaha hua chubta nahi hay but Sasu Maa ka bola hoa bohat taqleef daita hay.
Whatever moms say, girls usually forget that on next day but what MIL says, that is not forgotten at all and thats why we have so many problems in our daily life.
Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
I atually know so many aunties who want their daughters to live seperately from their in laws yet will never let their own sons/DILs live seperately, its pretty sad...
it comes down to the fact that even those who consider themselves "open minded" will still consider themselves superior to everyone else and thats why the rules they have for others will never apply to themselves.
Sara i have seen these things in my own family.. When there are fights and difference of opinions mothers support their daughters to live separately from their in laws but when it comes to their own son they think that their DIL is wrong in demanding a separate house.
But these are situations where MIL have different standards for their own daughters and DIL.. But in some cases where MIL have same standards for their own daughters and DIL..even in those cases girls complain that their MIL are very dictating. Why don't they accept the fact that their MIL is not mean to her.. its her (MIL) nature.
Both mothers and MILs are the same in the manner that we consider them to have old ideas while we are a 'new' generation and we don't see the things the way they see. So yes, since mothers and MILs are a same generation, we can say that they are same in thinking, opinions, views, methods of doing things etc. But when we compare our mothers with our MILs, we seem to have more tolerance for our mothers than our MILs just because there is this inherent thing in our subconscious mind that MILs are not our 'real' mothers so we tend to take everything more seriously in the case of MILs.
But the thing is...... many girls consider their MIL as their own mothers but they don't get same courtesy from the other side... in the same way many MIL consider their DIL as their own daughter but in return they get nothing from their DIL. I thinks both parties should show same courtesy to each other..... As we girls discuss our issues with our own mothers (How we want to do things), we should discuss these things with our MIL as well.. and MIL should forgive her DIL mistakes (in home chores) as they forgive their own daughters.
Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
You are 100% right that mothers and mothess in law are same in nature. But baat khatam is point par hoti hay k maan ka kaha hua chubta nahi hay but Sasu Maa ka bola hoa bohat taqleef daita hay. Whatever moms say, girls usually forget that on next day but what MIL says, that is not forgotten at all and thats why we have so many problems in our daily life.
That's the whole point of my thread.... Why we just ignore MIL as we are used to these type of criticism in our daily life before marriage. Why we always complain about MIL only. We should say that "shadi sey pehly bhi koi kam apni marzi sey nahin ker sakty thy and ab shadi k bad bhi nahin.. all mothers are same" :p
Re: Mothers and MIL are same...... in nature
That's the whole point of my thread.... Why we just ignore MIL as we are used to these type of criticism in our daily life before marriage. Why we always complain about MIL only. We should say that "shadi sey pehly bhi koi kam apni marzi sey nahin ker sakty thy and ab shadi k bad bhi nahin.. all mothers are same" :p
Hiiiiiii yeah zalim zindagi :)