Usually, as per tradition and norm, the kids are supposed to learn their father tongue/language. e.g. if father is punjabi and mom is for example pathan, the kids are expected to learn punjabi and they will be known as Punjabi. Not only kids will learn punjabi but wife is expected to master it too in case she is not already. She is expected to communicate with him in his language right?
Do you mind if your kids are picking up more of your wife’s language and which is completely different than yours? Will you object? Will you dislike?
Ladies, ever come across or went thru or seen same situation where she was asked to learn husband’s language and told her not to communicate in her language with the kids as they may start talking in same language?
Secondly why do we ask others what is their Mother tongue if father tongue is what actually counts?
I think it depends on which language is widely spoken in your family. Cause children learn to speak what they hear.
I have seen people being born and brought up in UK. US and claim not knowing any word of Urdu whereas both their parents
are urdu speaking and not to mention their living together grand parents who don't know single word of English :D
In my case, we spoke cantonese most of the time, since we lived in HK and my mother didn;t speak any urdu, but my father never had any issue with it. Cause all us siblings speak both languages just as fluent.
Usually, as per tradition and norm, the kids are supposed to learn their father tongue/language. e.g. if father is punjabi and mom is for example pathan, the kids are expected to learn punjabi and they will be known as Punjabi. Not only kids will learn punjabi but wife is expected to master it too in case she is not already. She is expected to communicate with him in his language right?
I've never heard of this.. My parents speak different languages and I'm better at my mum's language(s) cos at a very young age we obviously tended to spend more time with her and her family (even tho I'm closer to my dad now).. My brother has married into a desi family who speak another different language and my parents have openly said they expect their future grandkids to end up better at her language rather than ours.. Tbh I think it's a bit ridiculous to give one parent's language more importance than the other, best to just let the kids speak whichever they feel more comfortable with and pick up naturally..
My situation is a bit different, we both speak the same language but I still had to adapt to my husband's way of speaking. I know it sounds unfair but I honestly think it was better!
Ive never seen or heard of a marriage where the woman was expected to give up her own language...thats just weird.
If anything, Ive heard of where the inlaws started speaking more Urdu for their DIL so she could understand the conversations around her versus Punjabi all the time.
What I have seen is that children pick up more of their mother's language because she ends spending more time with them.
my mother tongue is english
,his is punjabi ...
we speak in urdu with each other and the kids...
although the kids are fluent in english and urdu they can also speak punjabi too...
hubby n I couldn't share jokes in the early days ...lost in translation,but it's all good now
alhumdolilah...
More like vocabulary…in his family they dont’ say “tu” or “tera” and definitely no punjabi galiyaN.. I wasn’t in habit of regularly saying galiyan :halo: but I stopped saying tu/tera.
Well I dont have a father or mother tongue because I did not spend much of my formative years at home… Instead I learned a little Urdu at school, spoke a little Potwari and then mixed it with a polyglot of other languages and the result is even my own parents can hardly understand what i’m talking about…
i don't think one should give up a language they were raised with instead children should be spoken to in both languages the younger the children are the more easily they pick up on many different languages if spoken to them constantly
Okay nice to hear that some ppl doesnt have any prob accepting/allowing wife’s language at their homes.
I have seen families where wife only speakes her language when she is at her own home, i.e. her parents home. My phuppo is one example. Her kids n husband all speak urdu and so does she. But when she is with her brothers n sisters n their kids, she speaks Pashto. her kids understand most of the pashto coz of the fact that they are more attached to their Nanyaal (mother side relatives) . but cannot communicate in it.
My BIL, he is pathan but from a different city so my sis n him has veryyyy slight difference in their languages. LIke he is from Peshawar so for him “Okay” or “Yes” is “Kha” and for us its “Sha”. so basically its KH and SH’s difference. still i have seen my BIL reminding her all the time to use his pronunciation and accent while speaking to their son. As otherwise he will pick up her accent. This has made me careful too when I am with my nephew and his father is around
FT
i hav also de same problem now…im punjabi n husband is balochi..so i hav to learn their language to communicate his family..they all know urdu bt they just wan me to talk in balochi
husband is ok with my urdu bt his family…
hahahha…yes they might…i have one example in my family too…my a certain SHE-Relative doesn’t want us to talk to her kid in punjaabi…although her own family is punjabi too..but she grew up speaking urdu…but she gets really angry if we talk to her kid in punjaabi…because there is fear that her kid will turn ‘paindooo’
I speak urdu and my husband is from mirpur and speaks that lingo. It was actually his decision to teach our daughter urdu and not his language. His reason being in urdu its harder to be rude and swear however, he states his language has no shame haha.
so although my husband cant speak urdu he really tries and sometimes i will hear him talkin to our daughter in the other room and its so cute.
…just speak whatever comes to your mind…is this really an issue?
