In countries where the muslim population is spread out and it’s difficult to find spouses, shouldn’t it be the mosque’s job to act as a community center where men and women both can come together for social activities and meet each other?
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
They do, I have heard it "tell imam masjid you are looking for spouse" many time.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
nvm
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
The youth groups consist of teenagers. Not much options for older people. Religious events/lectures at most mosques are pretty gender segregated in most parts of the US, can't speak for other countries. Monk making an announcement doesn't make people feel comfortable. If you notice, the imams will usually say it for guys, but women don't feel comfortable with the imam announcing out loud "Ahem, there is a v-o-man in the guurrls section, you cannot see her haha jokes on you, BUT she is 28 and mA she goes to the local university here, and she has brown hair, and wearing green kameez, maybe you catch her after prayer, thank-you brothers".
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
I have heard of some imams who keep the single folks in mind and mention either directly to the person looking (usually) or close family members, if they hear of a possible rishta. One of my female friends who is a doctor has had good interactions with an imam who is proactive in this manner.
But more social events that allow for interactions between genders based on mutual interests would be very productive.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
This is a cause very near and dear to the heart of a friend of mine. For years she has been challenging the masjid administration to be more active in facilitating networking or socializing events so that people can meet potential partners. She's been rebuffed by the masjid administrators repeatedly because they are are trying to uphold Islamic values and enforce segregation.
I understand where the masjid is coming from - they need to maintain a proper Islamic environment, but at the same time, I see the value in fostering a more recreational/social element to the masjid events. I'd like to think there is a middle ground, but who knows.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
PCG imam does more things then making announcements on loud-speaker.
"hazrat eek zaroori aelaan suneey… Ek Monk jo ky larki dhoondh rahay… " 
Thing is many people go to imam for same reason, girls their families, people who are involved in mosque.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
^ The problem with that thinking is that either then people without other means of finding a spouse find "non-halal" ways of interacting with the opposite sex OR they end up not finding a way to meet someone.
I just do not believe that every interaction between genders is a sin.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
Yeah I don't think every masjid administration is supportive of this sort of thing. Around here, I only know of one mosque, that does a Quran study that is mixed gender, but I dont know if they do that anymore or if it's just an old ad on meetup dot com. I did contact one guy who subscribed to that group - and he told me no one goes. So that's all I could find in a city TEEMING with muslims.
In my prior lives, I have tried to get the local religious organizations to be open about this stuff, and I would just get nasty emails back about how it's not Islamically appropriate for genders to mingle. I tried organizing social events in my college group as well, and some years it was open, other years I was told to take my food and take it elsewhere, that there's no place for girls in the group. Kid you NOT.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
And then I guess the only place that is religiously ok, if that, are the websites like single muslim or half our deen. Where I can tell you, there are plenty of gross guys hitting on girls, asking them lewd questions. So, given this, why don't the religious communities try to arrange more meetups between genders?
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
Maybe a bit of a tangent, but here goes. If not the mosque or maybe in addition to the mosque, what/where are the practical places to meet a potential partner for people living outside of Pakistan (and maybe for people in Pakistan)?
This assumes that the only requirment a person has is that the potential spouse be Muslim.
- Marry in the family
- Meet/be introduced through the family/friend social circle
- Meet through the mosque
- Meet at school
- Meet at work
- Meet online
- Date and marry outside of the faith
To PCG's point, of all of these options - not all are viable for people. And here's why:
1. Marry in the family
First, not everyone has a large family with age/qualification-appropriate partners. ex. girl is 24, all the guys in the family are 18 or younger.
Second, a lot of families have tons of family drama that makes a potential marriage just foolish (family drama will just continue for another generation), or worse yet some aunts/uncles won't send a proposal for the niece or accept a proposal for a nephew because of previous slight.
Third, a lot of Western-raised kids won't marry within the family because of potential hereditary illness or the notion that it is a social taboo according to the West.
**
2. Meet/be introduced through the family/friend social circle
**Depending on where the family lives, they might not have a large social circle and there may not be enough eligible guys/girls within the community.
Also, some families are not very social and don't know others within the community - so the parents can't arrange the introductions.
**3. Meet through the mosque
**In a segregated mosque, the guy/girl can't meet on their own. Some mosques don't provide community services or socializing opportunities. Some communities are so small, there is no mosque.
*4. Meet at school
*
Not every school has a large or eligible Muslim population (no MSA) and depending on the upbringing, some kids who are raised in uber-conservative families wouldn't dare meet someone on their own for fear of what the parents would say.
**5. Meet at work
**Same reasons as above and probably an even smaller Muslim population. Plus, rules against work-place relationships.
*6. Meet online
*
Some people are uncomfortable meeting someone online since the truthfulness of who the person behind the ID can't be known. Plus, if you come from a traditional family, meeting on your own is frowned upon.
**7. Date and marry outside of the faith
**Yeah, for some families - this is the ultimate no-no and this isn't even a remote possibility. For those who choose to date/marry - they risk alienating their family and risk their own religious practice depending on who they marry.
I just wanted to share the other perspective, since I do understand that for some people there are some limitations in meeting a potential spouse - it's not as easy as some people assume it is.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
I know lot of mosques in US hold special events or a constantly looking for volunteers, however, I have noticed that it is mostly young parents with young children coming up and taking on various responsibilities. I do not see to many single men and women coming forward for special events or other volunteer opportunities.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
^ I've heard a bit of the opposite.
I went to a seminar a few months ago and one of the complaints from the younger generation was that the older generation trivializes all of the younger generations ideas and recommendations and wants to do things "the way we've always done it. One of the examples was having Urdu versus English language programs. The older generation (especially the people who've come from the sub-continent) insist that masjid programs need to be in Urdu. A lot of the younger kids don't understand the language and because they can't follow along with the program, they just stop attending.
That in turn results in alienation of the younger generation - if they're not getting any benefit from the Masjid programs, they will feel disenfranchised and won't want to participate.
Re: Mosques as Community Centers - Breaking the Gender Divide
^^ I have seen that in some masjids that had majority of older Pakistanis and I do agree that programs should be in English. However, I was talking about signing up to be on Ramzan committee (I have seen sign up in masjids and single people don't take the initiative to sign up for such things), or signing up to be on committees for social causes like feed the hunger, food bank, etc. If your local masjid doesn't have any such program, get your friends together, involve the imam and start something.