What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
Close the door.
When do you care for a man’s company?
When he owns it.
How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
Three, if you slice them very thinly.
Why do men get married?
So they don’t have to hold their stomachs in anymore.
What are a woman’s four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger
in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
What did God say after creating man?
I must be able to do better than that.
What did God say after she made Eve?
“Practice makes perfect.”
What’s the difference between men and government
bonds?
Bonds mature.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars
have in common?
They’re married.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
And my FAVVVVVV!!!
**Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and
go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed
and go to the fridge.
**
What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his
brainpower?
A widower.
Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so
beautiful?”
God says: “So you would love her.”
“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so
dumb?”
God says: “So she would love you.”
