Is it moral/ethical for a man to take up a career/job, by which his time for his family is drastically decreased?
Re: Moral Dilemma
It shouldn't be a dilemma. Business/work comes first; you have to look after the financial end if your family is going live in a well-to-do lifestyle.
Iss baat pe koi shuk naheen hai kay rozi Allah dayta hai, lakin we have to do our part. We (husbands) can't stay home at the expense of work. Work should be given priority. Now, I'm not saying completely ignore the family; one should try to maintain a balance but if a situation comes up where a choice must be made between earning a living (i.e. going to work) or spending time with the family then the former is the best option.
Re: Moral Dilemma
Is he going to be happy with the choices he has made? It is an AMORAL issue.. not immoral or moral. Ethics has no place in this decision.
If he can take the stresses and strains of not only his work but also deal with the stresses and strains caused due to his absence in a healthy way, go right ahead.
Most people cannot deal with these issues in a healthy way. A lucky few can.
Re: Moral Dilemma
Is he making this decision before he has married or after?
Re: Moral Dilemma
This must be sumthing that a couple should discuss and agree on. His wife and children will be affected by this decision so shouldnt they have a say in this aswell?
Re: Moral Dilemma
There are careers that have no choice about the matter. There are also areas where the workweeks are typically 50 to 60 hours. If you choose to raise a family in New Yawk, this is something you can expect. If you raise a family in a more rural area or a different country you can expect to have more family time. Typical yearly vacation allowance in US is one or two weeks. In Europe and Asia, its more typically 4 to 6 weeks and 2 hour lunch breaks...completely unheard of here. Anyway, as I see it, it all depends on where the couple is raising their family, what their expectations and hopes are, what they want for their children. If both are in agreement then there should be no moral or ethical dilemma. Its when the couple is doing pretty well financially, wife and kids are happy and well cared for but husband wants more more money and so takes on a "better" (time consuming or traveling) job that takes him away from family...and the wife disagrees. This is the only case where an issue would arise and rather than considering it a moral or ethical issue, I'd more call it a challenge of married life that the couple would have to work out together.
Re: Moral Dilemma
........one of my colleague's husband is actuary......he travels alot but she is fine with that as got 3 kids to raise...though whenever he is away she dont like it and seem very upset. She has a son 18 and two daughters 14 and 16 year old.
The other example is a colleague who did Ph.D..in laser technology, has been in that highly paid extensive travelling job, left it cause his family was suffering. He just says "My wife is expecting a baby I have to stay with her at home thats why I left that job and turned to a teacher".
P.S. they are westerns......
Re: Moral Dilemma
It depends on what is more important to you. That new car or spending time with your loved ones. TO Anil, my question would be, what if you already had a job that paid the bills and let you spend a lot of time with your family. Would you quit that job to move to one that paid more but you didn't see your family as much?
I would rather see my family than make that extra dollar. By God's grace, we have enough that I don't feel like I need to work harder to make more money but give up time with my family.
Re: Moral Dilemma
Tough question. See, opportunities don't come around all the time; but when they do come you have to seize it. But with that said, family is also important. I guess a discussion with family members would be the first thing I'd do. Then after hearing everyone's side, I'd make the final decision.
But I tell you what, Allah does give you one opportunity in life to make money; its up to you to take it or not.
A tough call, really.
Re: Moral Dilemma
But is that what you think Allah finds important in a person. Making a lot of money? Or doing excellent quality work at whatever job you are doing.
One person, way more religious than I, told me once that to aim for perfection in one's work, is a way of worship. Because you want to impress God with your effort and work, and you want to be a good example to other muslims. I don't know if a higher income necessarily means you work harder or better, though.
Re: Moral Dilemma
I'm not sure how you got that from my post? I was merely making the general point that Allah (swt) gives everyone atleast one opportunity in life to make a good living. I'm not basing this on any ayat but its what I've noticed and heard from others.
Re: Moral Dilemma
Anil, God also gives us opportunities to test us, by giving you an opportunity, He may be testing you to see what is more important to you, money or family.
Anyway, here’s a GREAT anecdote that I like sharing with people who think life is all about a good job and chunky paycheck, some of you may have already read this, it may look like a long read, but please take the time to read it:
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
“You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman, “you should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was the businessman’s answer.
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!” “And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman’s questions. “You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!” he said.
“And then what will my reward be?” repeated the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”
Re: Moral Dilemma
A possible flaw is that the story doesn't mention anything about the fisherman's family and their expenses such as groceries, mortgage, life insurance, money for gas, cell phone bills etc, etc.
Ahmed bhai, life is not just about lying on the beach and enjoying the warmth. There are real issues out there and some of which (or most) can only be solved by money. I don't like it but its the cold hard truth.
In my mind, we must prioritize. Whats more important? Sitting at home and watching bollywood movies or Keeping the store open (as an example) to increase sales? Answer: the latter option. Whats more important? Taking your 18 year old to the hospital because he was in a car accident or Keeping the store open to improve business? Answer: The former option.
Re: Moral Dilemma
It should be discussed and then decided.
Re: Moral Dilemma
yes