For the girls with daughters, do you actually see yourself doing all the “culturally” expected things for your damads? Meaning, buying his whole khandaan gold sets, clothes, etc. etc. I think it’s unfair. Being a mom to a mini man, I have no intention of “milking” any larki walay even though it is culturally acceptable.
My beta will still be my beta after he gets married … , lekin his wife and children come first. I will make sure to ingrain that in him, what his duties and responsibilities are as a Muslim man.
^ yeah, there's no way that's happening if I have a girl. First off, the 'demands' of all these things, normally come for the guy's side. They're the ones that expect the joras, and the gold sets. I just think it's really silly for them to demand all that.
If the girl's family wants to give whatever to their daughter, without any expectations or demands, then that's a different story.
Smiley, I don't see it happening to mom's raised in the West. Like I don't see us behaving like the stereotypical saas, but then again, a lot of westerners have MIL issues too. Hmmm ... I think our Canadian mentality and view of things will help us out in the long run.
I don't know how I will be. But one thing is for sure.....I'm glad I have a daughter cuz I would have been an anal saas like khawa if I had to deal with a bahu. My standards are super high.
The problem we will have will be with hubby......his standards are super high for a son in law.
I will not bend to the pressures of society iA. (I shouldn't even say this stuff cuz you never know what the future holds....so may Allah forgive me if I overstep my bounds.)
I will look for a damaad that would be willing to give his life for my daughter. And in exchange he will get a loving, capable and educated wife that will be a good mother to their children and a formidable companion for him. iA.
For the girls with daughters, do you actually see yourself doing all the "culturally" expected things for your damads? Meaning, buying his whole khandaan gold sets, clothes, etc. etc. I think it's unfair. Being a mom to a mini man, I have no intention of "milking" any larki walay even though it is culturally acceptable.
No way. My own mom didn't do that, and neither will I. Fortunately, hubby's family is not into that stuff at all either, so it wasn't a problem. Come to think of it, I've rarely seen that happen around me. I think things are finally starting to change. :)
i wont go to any chai parties to look for dils for my sons... they got to find them by themselves ... and no, they are not going to stay with us at all, they must be stable (financially) to support their wives at their own homes.
, lekin his wife and children come first. I will make sure to ingrain that in him, what his duties and responsibilities are as a Muslim man.