Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Thank you sahr. I do need all the luck with my parents acting like this… I feel like im never going to get married and this happiness is just short term 
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
This is weird really. When your mom is all excited about your marriage and all then why does she avoid talking to your MIL. Cannot get it really. Anyway, I assume you both do not live in the same city or could have arranged a meeting together as the official rishta pakka ceremony. Now, I guess you' ll have to arrange it as the way you mentioned already or ask your MIL to make a call and let your mom pick it. Rest should be an easy deal.
It is weird mirage...i dont get it either :(
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Well his parents did call years back but my dad said no at that time. Now i think they just want to confirm with me before calling. The first time I gave them the number they called without asking me.
This was a reply to paheli00
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Well his parents did call years back but my dad said no at that time. Now i think they just want to confirm with me before calling. The first time I gave them the number they called without asking me.
Noshi look, I'm speaking completely from a desi point of view, which I feel desi parents would agree and concur with in general. So it is advice specific for your parents and your situation. Different families may have different views but in general, the guy's side initiates. And keeps at it. Akhir they are the ones who want something na? ie the girl?
You and your boy have already done your bit, you two found each other and convinced families. Now the ball is in the parents' court on both sides. You need to stop being mediator.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Noshi, give your boyfriend your phone number to give to his parents. His mom/parents should initiate....that is how it's done. But when his mom DOES call your mom........your mom NEEDS to talk to her and can't give silly reasons like "Main kya baat karoon, I'm shy, bla, bla bla."
t would have made more sense for your mom to say something like "Beta, the guy's side needs to call first if they're interested and when they do, I will talk to them." But for a grown woman to say "Main kya baat karoon".....sounds odd. As a mother, she knows (or should) that this is something she'll have to do one day. When it happens, she needs to reciprocate. Talk to your dad about this and maybe he'll encourage your mom to be more receptive. Are your parents truly supportive of this match...because a part of me wonders if maybe they're not too keen on it and are trying to let this blow over through a careless attitude toward the matter. Not saying that they're doing that, but just wondering.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Noshi, give your boyfriend your phone number to give to his parents. His mom/parents should initiate....that is how it's done. But when his mom DOES call your mom........your mom NEEDS to talk to her and can't give silly reasons like "Main kya baat karoon, I'm shy, bla, bla bla."
t would have made more sense for your mom to say something like "Beta, the guy's side needs to call first if they're interested and when they do, I will talk to them." But for a grown woman to say "Main kya baat karoon".....sounds odd. As a mother, she knows (or should) that this is something she'll have to do one day. When it happens, she needs to reciprocate. Talk to your dad about this and maybe he'll encourage your mom to be more receptive. Are your parents truly supportive of this match...because a part of me wonders if maybe they're not too keen on it and are trying to let this blow over through a careless attitude toward the matter. Not saying that they're doing that, but just wondering.
No redvelvet, my parents weren't supportive for years. They just recently said yes, but i think deep down they still haven't accepted it. Lets see I'm planning on talking to my mom in the morning when it's just the two of us.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
His parents called a few years back and were refused by your parents. His parents are still unsure about what sort of response they will get from your parents. You've said your parents still haven't accepted this.
Personally, if I was the guy's family, I'd want your mom to be the one calling, regardless of what happens traditionally. This time the ball's in your mom's court.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
She will have to talk if your fiance's mother calls. Just let her call. Your mother will have to respond.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
sounds like the guy's side is looking for some sort of assurance that they will not be declined this time around........can't blame them, right?
make sure that things are all good on your own side before you encourage them to call again......be absolutely certain that they will not be turned away again.......if that happens then you will have a much bigger problem to contend with.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Do whatever but dont ask guy to ask his parents to call first. You never know what kind of response they will get from your mom.
Talk to your mom about the NEED of this conversation b/w her and guy's mom for this rishta to capitalized. There are tonz of things to discuss b/w parents such as date of the functions, number of guests, haq mehr etc etc. Once your mom is ready to talk, its then when you ask the guy to have his parents call.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Invite the future-in-laws to tea...she'll have to talk then!
this ^....
if both parents are hesitant to talk.. then you invite his parents to your place on your parents behalf and make sure they get very warm welocme from your parents. ...
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
Noshi: You still haven't mentioned how your dad is acting right now? Have you told your dad that his parents are interested in talking?
I didn't realize that his parents already called once and were rejected. Given that incident, at this point....I don't think its wise to have his parents call OR you inviting them to your parents house without your parents approval.
I think another option would be to get both sets of parents to meet at a neutral place. Why don't you and your BF try to get them to meet for lunch somewhere? You two decide the date, time, place (since you two know your parents schedules and their "food likes"). Then you tell your parents that his parents want to meet them for lunch....and he can tell his parents that yours want to meet up for lunch.
Re: Mom not willing to talk to my future mother in law
I didn't realize that his parents already called once and were rejected. .
^Me neither. I guess I overlooked that piece of information. You need to make sure everything is good with your parents...that they truly ARE open to meeting with his parents. As someone said above, the ball is now in your parents' court...and rather than listen to your mom say silly things like "main kya baat karoon"....just ask her if she even approves. Talk to your dad about it....sort everything out at home first, make sure that everyone is on the same page before initiating contact/making invitations, etc.