Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
To be brutally honest, the amount of time you have asked people to go recommend lotions and potions go "shade or two lighter", I'm not suprised why a three year old is already protesting against the tag.
good point!
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
While I understand what others are saying regarding the fact that nadz knew the situation before she got married, I do think that doesn't mean she has to be tied down by what she believed to be true years ago. They've given it a try now. Her husband should be able to see that this is not a comfortable home for his wife or children, and it is his job to provide one. You need to have a mature discussion (not argument) with your husband if you want to see change, nadz.
moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
You had moved to the UK. Why did you come back? I thought your husband was going to meet you there? Just curious.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
I am sorry to read what you have gone through. I would be mad too if someone called my daughter dark. As regards you wanting to go lighter, its the same thing as trying to lose weight to look good on your own and someone calling your child chubby and saying that they will look better if they lost weight. World of difference.
The private space issue too, I can understand, unfortunately your husband does not want to move to a separate residence, so you are stuck with the liberties others take.
Cutting her thumb and creating drama that is what a lot of our elders do unfortunately in Pakistan. Its called emotional blackmail.
Talk to your husband about moving back to the UK, its time you did. Your in laws will not change?
BTW how is your kaam wali?
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
In regards to my portion if the house I am.in.my.own floor which she has never come.up.to. even when I had broken my toe she never once came up to ask me.how Iwas. Because.she is too Ill to come up.
However as soon.as we are out of house she's perfectlywell.enough.
Secondly I.don't think u guys would think ur mother in law going through ur stuff is acceptable.
Thirdly me wanting to.go lighter as an ADULT making my.own choice is different than her being pressured as a 3 year old.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
I don't think it is acceptable at all. But you really have to control which situations you think are worth fighting over and others that are not. Eventually you will put your children's things back right? Will you saying anything stop her from doing it again? She provokes you on purpose.
You should take on silence unless it is an absolutely dire situation Nadzz. That was just not. It was only your children's rooms. Lesson learned now, put looks on their room too and do not forget. If you do, you have to deal with whatever comes next.
You have to learn how to avoid any sort of conflict from your end otherwise it doesn't make you any better than her. Regardless of your position. Like you just have to, have to, have to control your anger. No way around it.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
Her husband should be able to see that this is not a comfortable home for his wife or children
Or his mother, right? You know the lady who literally wiped his ass, raised him?
moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
^ what do you think he should do?
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
^ what do you think he should do?
He can't do much...... sandwiTched bechara
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
It doesn't matter whether this was an arranged marriage or a love marriage or whether MIL did/didn't approve. What matters here and now is that you are married and are the DIL whether your MIL likes it or not. If she is not giving you the respect you should be getting, your husband needs to step up and have a word with his mother. And if indeed this marriage did not have the approval of MIL and your husband still went along with it, he now needs to ensure that you and your children are treated properly. Have a talk with your husband and raise all of your concerns with him and have him speak directly to MIL about it.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
Well in all these encounters the poor soul is the husband, sandwiched between his mother and his wife. Sometimes I wonder what joy these desi women get by bringing their children/husbands to these awkward situations.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
I love how the oh so pure saints on GS have never ever ever "felt" like slapping someone.
ahmazing.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
In regards to my portion if the house I am.in.my.own floor which she has never come.up.to. even when I had broken my toe she never once came up to ask me.how Iwas. Because.she is too Ill to come up. However as soon.as we are out of house she's perfectlywell.enough.
What's your point with this? It's pretty obvious that the reason MIL didn't visit you is b/c she doesn't like you and is not too concerned about your comfort. She made that clear from day 1. By locking your own bedroom you proved that you never believed her excuse & thought there is a strong possibility she will come upstairs. So once again……if you locked your own room b/c you wanted her to stay out….why did you not lock the children's room? What made you think she would not go through their room?
Secondly I.don't think u guys would think ur mother in law going through ur stuff is acceptable
Who said its acceptable? Of course its not acceptable. My point is that at the end of the day, its HER house. She can go in whatever room she wants to and arrange anything however she wants to. Its common sense that she should ideally stay out of your room/kids room out of respect. However, she has made it clear to you in the last 4 YEARS that she does not respect you. If you moved into a house knowing that the owner doesn't respect you, and the owner has shown repeatedly over the years that she will not change her attitude/behavior towards you…..then its up to you to decide if you want to continue staying in that house and be treated liked his.
Your husband already knows how you feel about living there/his mother. He has already made it clear to you that she's not leaving his mother. I assume you weren't able to convince him to move to UK & that's why you returned. Over the years, you have been given countless amounts of advice on controlling your own emotions, picking & choosing your battles, and random tips on trying to keep peace in the house. You have ignored them all and NOTHING is different today compared to 4 years ago. You don't want to modify your own behavior but expect your MIL to change……and she' just as stubborn. Your husband has made up his mind that he's not moving out. So you tell us what else is there left to do?
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
The poor old woman but be terrified of you as she cannot do anything right.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
I know of someone who like you, lives with her in-laws and has her own floor. The MIL does not go to her floor, and likewise, she doesn't really see her MIL everyday. The MIL doesn't make the effort to see her or ask about her either because she wants to give her DIL space. You might interpret your MIL not going to your floor as wrong, but in her pov- that might be her way of giving you some freedom. So you leave and she goes to your floor to clean up... Big deal. It's not like she's there snooping around everyday. Youre lucky that you even have your own floor. There are ppl in pak in joint family homes who only get one room for a full family!
The skin color part... You're in pak. Your daughter is going to hear that she's dark from relatives. It is what it is. The next time MIL says that- just name some dark pretty celeb. Focus on building your daughter's confidence to face such nasty remarks.
Also, you're afraid that your daughter will be affected by your MIL's remark... Your daughter will grow up seeing the poor relationship bw you and her grandma, in addition to the arguments/strain bw you and her father... That might be worse for her.
Re: moher in law issue. this time i confronted her. yayy for me.
^ Completely agree. Well said.