Dush,
At first, maybe even a few times, I'll stay quiet. BUT, then I get angry enough to say something to the person. I dealt with a *ty superior at work who once made a disrespectful tactless remark about Asians. She also made my life miserable. I tolerated her for a few times, then I gave her the cold shoulder and even responded with sarcastic remarks to some of her comments. That cow was so transparent with her malicious agenda. It got to the point, where I felt that I had to teach her a lesson. I refused to be treated like that, so I reported her to the Union and arranged for a meeting with the boss, the union leader, myself, and the toxic supervisor. And during that meeting, I let my boss know about all the * that she's pulled. She sat there quiet, and uncomfortable, her lips pursed in a constipated line.
I may not have gained much out of the situation, but I discovered a new personal strength. My union leader, was very disgusted with my superior and the boss.......they don't have the best reputation. I succeeded in humiliating my supervisor and making her feel uncomfortable in front of the boss. And hopefully the cow now realizes that not every Asian female that she encounters in the future is going to be the stereotypical meek and passive employee.....that people will stand up against her bullcrap! And while I don't like to wish bad for others, I do believe in the power of what goes around comes around. And sooner or later, Allah's gonna get her for all the people that she's hurt!
In answer to your question....I believe that even in personal relationships (toxic relative/friend) you can only be the "tolerant/bigger person" for so long. Eventually you have to put that foul booger/fart in his or her place......otherwise they think that they will always be able to easily get away with their bull crap since nobody is standing up to them. By standing up....they'll hopefully think twice about opening their offensive mouth again!