Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
lol^
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
Oh jeez!
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
no bad language plz..:nono:
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
Astaghfirullah!
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
^Well said. One of those cases I was trying to explain. Secondly there are some aunties who used to be so much involved in your brought-up that they start thinking that their right of kissing your forehead is still there even though you have grown up and are now na-mehram for them. Similarly some cousins don't realize that our childhood days are over, when we use to play cricket, carum, luddo, ..etc. So when they come from USA, they excitedly ask about you and try to shake your hands and their husbands give you a smile as if to say, no problem it is a sawab to do that.
An aunt visited one of my friend's house. Even though she is of his mother's age, she doesn't realize that she is na-mehram and keep trying to put her hand on his head and kiss his forehead, and he keeps moving one step back and obediently trying to avoid it. Everyone was shocked, "Beta, mein to aap ki walida ki tarah hoon..."
Of course their intentions are pure, but so are the orders of Allah (swt) and the ways of HIS prophet (Saw).
Something is wrong with you, dude.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
^ then pray for me, because this one liner might not help me much in learning and correcting my views. Come up with some logical reasoning so that we may find a solution to that "something wrong" with me, of course, in case you wish to correct me. Otherwise, please carry on.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
^I commend you for taking that so well. Good job!
As for "logical reasoning" is concerned, I am not interested in doing that right now.
I acknowledge that I am being a b*tch.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
^I commend you for taking that so well. Good job!
As for "logical reasoning" is concerned, I am not interested in doing that right now.
I acknowledge that I am being a b*tch.
My God u are so amazing. I am enamored by you.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
Similarly some cousins don't realize that our childhood days are over, when we use to play cricket, carum, luddo, ..etc. So when they come from USA, they excitedly ask about you and try to shake your hands and their husbands give you a smile as if to say, no problem it is a sawab to do that.
How do you know that your female cousins' husbands think it is "sawab" for them to shake your hand/talk to you, etc? Maybe they're not looking at it from a religious mahram/non-mahram perspective.....maybe they simply see you as a "brother" to their wives....and are not even thinking about rewards/sawab/etc. You may not agree with their actions....but you're making assumptions about their intentions. Isn't there something in Islam about giving one the benefit of the doubt and not rushing to suspicion or jumping to negative conclusions? I dunno.....I could be wrong....but the word "sawab" almost sounds like sarcasm or a chiding. It's commendable, CMGG, that you want to develop your knowledge about Islam as well as your character.......and I don't mean to offend.....but sometimes your posts contain a slight chiding as well as a "woe is me" vibe.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
Crime Master maybe if you tried to see your cousins as your sisters it would help 
And the guy in the video, what a nutter. Jaahil insaan.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
But why only confine it to social gatherings? If it is feared that lustful feelings may develop with the intermingling of both genders in a social gathering then shouldn't it be considered that one can develop an attraction to a person's online personality/responses/posts, etc? If you're going to be particular about non-mahram relatives of the opposite gender (whom you think of as sisters) and aunties whom you consider to be like your mother......then how do you justify your participation on GS (where there is no restriction regarding the mingling of both genders)?
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
How do you know that your female cousins' husbands think it is "sawab" for them to shake your hand/talk to you, etc? Maybe they're not looking at it from a religious mahram/non-mahram perspective.....maybe they simply see you as a "brother" to their wives....and are not even thinking about rewards/sawab/etc. You may not agree with their actions....but you're making assumptions about their intentions. Isn't there something in Islam about giving one the benefit of the doubt and not rushing to suspicion or jumping to negative conclusions? I dunno.....I could be wrong....but the word "sawab" almost sounds like sarcasm or a chiding. It's commendable, CMGG, that you want to develop your knowledge about Islam as well as your character.......and I don't mean to offend.....but sometimes your posts contain a slight chiding as well as a "woe is me" vibe.
Hmm,..thats true. Thanks for pointing that out. It is not right for me to assume about their intentions or think of any such sarcastic thoughts. Didn't realize that. Hopefully in future I would take care of that, by the grace and mercy of Allah (Swt).
Such logical reasoning help me to see different perspectives and correct my attitude and understanding. JazakAllah khair.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
this is a joke right?
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
But why only confine it to social gatherings? If it is feared that lustful feelings may develop with the intermingling of both genders in a social gathering then shouldn't it be considered that one can develop an attraction to a person's online personality/responses/posts, etc? If you're going to be particular about non-mahram relatives of the opposite gender (whom you think of as sisters) and aunties whom you consider to be like your mother......then how do you justify your participation on GS (where there is no restriction regarding the mingling of both genders)?
I thought about this matter a number of times and discussed with scholars before deciding to join an online forum and even after that. There are many aspects to it. I even left such forums for a certain time a number of times because of this confusion. The only reason that convinced me and brought me back was that if you are not involved in one to one chatting/PM and your intention is to participate in a discussion and leave, without ever sharing your identity, picture or looking at anyone's profile details...etc., it is not disallowed. I also tried the "share the info in blogs and leave" strategy. To learn and educate within "pardah" was allowed in the times of our ideals, if I am not wrong. Here we don't have any idea of who is who. Very limited information about anyone, except the knowledge we gain. Anyways, if I am convinced by anyone that this actually is like an actual gathering where it is not easy to control one's gaze,...etc, I promise that inshaAllah I wouldn't return to online forums.
Of course, that is not meant to criticize others, just for my personal satisfaction, what I feel better for myself as I am answerable for only my own deeds.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
My God u are so amazing. I am enamored by you.
;)
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
Of course I consider them my sisters. But, does my consideration change the rules that my religion defines for interaction with them ? I should have control over my own thoughts but not on the regulations of my religion regarding any matter.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
in fact u sound like this other really awesome chick on this forum but she's not french. :/
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
^ then pray for me, because this one liner might not help me much in learning and correcting my views. Come up with some logical reasoning so that we may find a solution to that "something wrong" with me, of course, in case you wish to correct me. Otherwise, please carry on.
This was indeed quite rude of me. Got emotional. I apologize for that. I should have just accepted that something is wrong with me, even though there are many many things wrong in me.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
You need help.
Re: Mixed or Separate Family Gatherings. Please advise
this is a joke right?
i almost spit my coffee all over the screen when i watched that. lol.