There was a phase where just getting married settling down was important. However with time, this has become a little less of a priority. Maybe even standards have gone higher. I wont finish studying till probably 30 and that if things go well, so getting married in the meantime would only really happen if I found someone that shared the same priorities.So, I would at same stage want to get married, however really getting married does guarantee good company or that you wont die alone etc…your spouse could die before,you could never have children and really we all die alone, it’s all very alone after the dying part. So yes I do believe that marriage can add and enrich your life, but really it can also cause great harm if you end up with the wrong person. Most things can be sorted out , if both parties are willing to do so and I guess that’s what makes relationships long lasting. I think there’s all types oft thinkers out there, there’s people who think I ll just find someone better and there’s those that are willing to do all their can to make things work. Who you find, is your luck. Betterment is dependant on what we do with our lives, married or unmarried.So if you continue to add value to society someway or the other than marriage does not really hinder betterment in the greater sense. But all this heavily depends on who you marry and like-mindedness between couples. I think maybe in other places, school,work etc you can use reason and logic and work way towards success. I think, relationships are a little different. You can try and use reasoning to find the “right” person, but really are their right or will they remain right, only time will tell. So I don’t see any harm in waiting. Marriage is important in its own right.
Save me the condescension. A broken clock may be right twice a day, but it is still a broken clock. If you put your uneducated opinion out there, then people can call you out on it. If I vehemently believed the sky was green people would have the right to assume I am an idiot even if we were not in a debate.
Meh. It is what it is. At one point, marriage was a necessity for women for survival. Where would they go? Who would feed them? They had to make it work no matter what. Now, its not the case. I am not fighting you…just stating what I see to be the case. If a marriage will work in today’s age…it’ll have to work from both sides with equal effort because both sides are now equally capable of fending for themselves.
Women actually don’t poop out babies…if you study anatomy…the process is quite different and the way you described it shows how you view women. Its not something to be proud of.
I am not here to convince you…these are not opinions. Its today’s reality. The women I know who stayed single for longer than normal and then married only did so when they found something that worked for them. Not because they needed someone to feed them or a corner to live out their days quietly. I still know several single women who are educated, driven, successful and extremely involved in the betterment of their communities since their time is not occupied by kids and husbands. They might be lonely but they are by no means miserable or suffering. Of course, well need companionship but these days women compromise less to get/keep that.
And as far as being *****y is concerned. Any attitude a woman has which a man does not like is considered *****y. What’s to be done about it? Nothing.
The new generation is smarter and more hardworking than the previous one, yet not getting as successful at life in general. More than 7.6 billion people sharing the ever dwindling resources and ever increasing inequality is having its impact. Just 85 people hold as much wealth as the bottom 50% of the world’s population. For the vast majority, goals related to their education, career, housing and healthcare have become far more difficult if not impossible to achieve.
Hard to come up with a general advice fit for everyone seeking to get married but things I would have advised to my younger unmarried self would be:
1- Marriage will bring a lifetime of daily doses of happiness or daily doses of grief. Don’t rush decision.
2- Take your time to know about her personality, values, and health. Evaluate if all of that is compatible with yours. Social pressures keeping marriages intact are declining rapidly so compatibility is all the more important.
3- Be very selfish. This is no time to be a saint. Put your wants and needs first while deciding.
4- A happy wife means a happy life. Evaluate if you’ll be able to keep her happy?
5- Respectfully disagree but listen without prejudice to family as they may be seeing things more dispassionately.
Is it (marriage) that important?
I’m quite happy and at peace with where I am right now, but understand the role and importance of marriage along with balancing everything else. Marriage can help you grow spiritually, emotionally, personally and professionally if you’re with the right person. Also, from a religious perspective you can grow your family to raise children in a faith enriched environment.
Are relationships going to be that long-lasting?
They are if you want them to be. Depends on the couple and their values/situations/etc.
Is it harder than our parents had it?
We definitely, have it much harder than our parents. It’s so much easier to walk away from a marriage nowadays. Back in the day people worked through it, or perhaps had to work through it as options were limited and there was societal pressures, other obligations and I feel people were more tolerant as compared to now.
Do you in anyway contribute to the betterment?
Hopefully my future spouse and I can work towards making our communities a better place to live for our families, friends and those around us.