MIL in coming

Lifestyle Relationships
1

My MIL is coming to stay with me for a week or so and i am dreading it. I am currently living in a 1 bedroom flat so space is a massive issue at the moment, what am i gona do?

my previous threads have stated my situation with MIL so thats the reason im not looking forward to his, hellppppp

2

how long is she going to stay?

3

Re: MIL in coming

shes only staying a week but shes never stayed with me longer than a day or so. i dont have a problem with her coming at all, im just nervous of how to behave and wat to cook especially, i have no oven and limited amount of variety of foods due to living in in europe for a few months.

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Re: MIL in coming

get a desi recipe book...and let her do all the talking, be a good listener.

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Re: MIL in coming

Aah the MIL returns for an inspection of the facilites… :smokin2:

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^ lol

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Re: MIL in coming

book her into a hotel :hmmm:

and waisey whats the worst that cud happen .. eat you :stuck_out_tongue:

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Re: MIL in coming

Its just a WEEK for heaven sake. Deal with it in best possible way you can. I am sure if you know how to use Internet, register on GS and take part in discussions, you have enough sense to entertain MIL.

As far as 1 bedroom apt is concerned, jaga dil main honee chehyeee. 1 Week is not that long of a period to entertain one guest who happen to your husband's mom.

my 2 cents, unless I m missing something

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Re: MIL in coming

Always try to learn from MIL's. they got loads of experience....take it in a positive way.

Keep on face JEE JEE and inside NA NA.....:)

Make her busy in cooking or peeling cucumbers...

10

much unneeded criticism if i must say

i dont have a problem with her staying, its teh fact that she has made my life very difficult since i have got married.

she has never given my daughter any attention, she refuses to pick her up and play with her, she doesnt accept me as a DIL, she wants my husband to leave me and his daughter and marry her neice, she has spread rumours about me in the neighbourhood she lives in the reason i have not been able to make any aquaintances....etc the list goes on

so for her to be coming randomly like this is frightening me. i will entertain her as much as i can but my mind is in overdrive at the mo

11

yup this is exactly what my hubby said :)

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Re: MIL in coming

its summer time now take her out.

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Re: MIL in coming

another question i have aswell is that FIL is also going to be with her. he is aware of alot of the issues that have happened but not as much as the way MIL has been. do you think i should open up about how its affecting me or shud i stay quiet and not say anythin?

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Re: MIL in coming

I understand what you are saying but it is just a matter of week, or few weeks she is not living with you. May be try and put positive spin on things, ok your MIL does not like you, your daughter, but why does it matter if you already know thats how she is, your hubby supports you, even if it is only infront of you. From your thred above i gathered he is not the type who will whip your ass if will not listen to his mother, is he?
Nobody's life is perfect to be honest, please don't try to push things too hard, you will only get more frustrated at the end. Plus try and be as nicfe as you can, ok don't sit and dabaofy her feet but try to do as smuch as you can **'without expecting anything in return' **hopefully in long run all the nice things you have done will do good to your relatonship with her.
may be one of the reasons she is so anti is you, you don't send her positive vibes. Please don't take all been said in this thread personally, yes its being said to you, not about you. keep things in perspective, may be infront of her tell you daughter 'look grandma/dadi here' or compliment her through your daughter without sounding too fake. Trust me if if she doesn't give a sh*t about you she will be forced to atleast shut the negativety somewhat.

Goodluck...

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you mean say anything to the FIL about the MIL...??
Not sure what issues you have had with her but IMO,it will be better to stay quiet...Its just a week....hope you will be fine..:)

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Re: MIL in coming

If she doesnt' like you then why is she staying with you?

Frankly if I didn't like anyone, I would hate to stay in such a small space with them for any amount of time.

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Here's what I think:

1) Easier said than done, but try to calm down. A week may seem like an eternity...but those seven days will pass by rather quickly.

2) If you already KNOW that she's not crazy about you and your daughter....why are you so worried about her opinion now? If a couple years of marriage didn't change her opinion....don't expect only one week to change her.

3) She doesn't live with you permanently. The important thing is that your husband loves you. So be as nice as possible to her....so that you don't strain your relationship with your husband. She is his mother after all.

4) Pray...and ask Allah for help and patience. And this may sound like paranoia to some....but I think it's generally good to recite the 3 Quls and Ayatul Kursi for protection from Allah....on a daily basis. And especially so if you already know that someone (like your MIL in this case) doesn't like you....or envies you.....or is not well-wisher. Pray to Allah.

5) Sit down with your husband and PLAN out the week. A friend of mind was also dreading a visit from her MIL....and she planned things out with her husband. Plan out what places you will visit.......that way you won't be stuck in the apartment with MIL all day. When you all go out as a family...your MIL will be more likely to behave in a public setting especially around your husband (I'm hoping).

6) Don't go into a cooking frenzy......because there will be some days that you will eat outside. Ask your husband what kinds of dishes his parents like......what things you should get....talk to him about it.

^Buy some items for chai.....like cookies, pastries or a cake from the bakery that you can cut in slices, some mithai and nimko from the local desi store. Have a variety of beverages available...tea/coffee, juice, soda, etc.

^ Don't serve everything in one day....vary it a bit/spread it out. You can make shami kababs and samosay in advance and freeze them......and fry them when needed for chai or as an accompaniment to a meal.

^As for what to cook.......try to balance it out. Have a rice dish (pulao, biryani, etc). A meat dish....(chicken karahi and a mutton korma).....and a vegetable dish like..(palak or saag or eggplant, etc). You can add kababs. A salad, raita, and chutneys. Rotis (you can buy them frozen from the store so they just need heating) as opposed to making them. For desert...make whatever you feel comfortable with....(halwa, kheer, ras malai, etc). You can even buy frozen desi deserts from the store. Buy some ice cream.....and serve it during one of the days of the week. ****Talk to your husband about the menu and ask him for suggestions about what to buy and cook.

7) If your MIL is into movies/dramas/certain magazines......then get them for her....so that they'll keep her occupied for some time while you're busy with chores and taking care of your daughter.

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Re: MIL in coming

I have read your previous posts about your MIL. These are few things you can do to make her stay a good experience for yourself, your family and her:

  • engage in healthy coversations with her

  • make her feel wanted by saying stuff like "oh we were waiting for you to come over" or "my daughter said she wants to play with her dadi" or maybe "there is this place or restaurant we would like to take you"

  • say "thank you" and praise her if she has bought you or your daughter gifts

  • make food of her chocie for those few days

  • even some bad MILs really like it when their bahus are very obedient, so try to do "jee haan" or "abhi karti hun" on things she asks you to do

  • ask your daughter to play with her; she doesn't like you daughter much, but your daughter is a little kid, she may make her like her by playing with her and talking to her

  • as someone mentioned before, pray to Allah to make her stay a good one for you all

Hope this will help you.
InshaAllah her stay will go fine for you and your family, Ameen.
Don't worry about it too much. Afterall its just a week.

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Re: MIL in coming

Magic 8 ball has summed it up pretty well.

I'd just add that make sure you keep her busy - plan what you want to do while the in laws are here so you spend no more than is absolutely necessary cramped together in a one bed flat.

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Re: MIL in coming

I'd order take out each night with my hubby's credit card and then laugh my arse off later when everyone's asleep