Here are some conversations, from Microsoft, which had actually taken
place between help desk people and their customers:
Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a
document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support: “What does it say?”
Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open
24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
Tech Support: “Ok, now click your left mouse button.”
Customer: (silence) “But I only have one mouse.”
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “Ok.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this
point?"
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
Customer: “I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
Customer: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
Tech Support: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
< R>Customer: “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer “No…”
Customer: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support: ?@#$>
Tech Support: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can
you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
