Re: methods of hair removal
^yes, that's right. it would be best to leave the hair and bleach it.
waxing is fine for the rest, probably for your 'privates' too. hair removal cream may be too harsh for the sensitive skin there and also can make the skin darker.
personally, for legs, underarms and bikini area, i would suggest Laser. in the long term you will save lots of time, money, hassle and will have nice clear skin, as even waxing will cause some level of ingrown hairs.
and i'm sorry to say it but only immature guys or those who get all their info about how women should look from TV/magazines, expect their wives to be completely hairless. if you see photos of models before the editing, you will see plenty of hair!