Some of my relatives have this attitude towards their health which totally confuses me…
One relative had a heart attack (something milder than heart attack actually, even milder than angina) and he refuses to go to the doctor for further checkups, even when his family insists on taking him, he says ‘marna toh ik din waise bhee hae, kyun apni zindagi ko dawaiyaan kha ke aur beemarion ki fikraan karte guzaroon’ (one has to die anyway so whats the point of spending ur life eating medicines and worrying about diseases)…
Another relative has diabetes but insists on having meetha (dessert) everyday, just gets more insulin injected…during the current mango season, she ate mangoes everyday and every morning her breakfast consisted of mango milkshake…imagine, she is diabetic!!! she says marna toh ik din waise bhee hae, she loves aam and might as well enjoy them while she is alive, staying happy is most important, PARHEZ can wait…
i kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of agree with all this but am not sure what to do in such situations, should i insist to my relatives that they do PARHEZ or no??
ofcourse marna toh hae, par our body is an amaanat (trust) from Allah that we should take care of…isnt it?? And shouldn’t one take care for the sake of loved ones???
i’m totally confused
what do you guys think???
p.s. Mods, FYI I am also posting a similar thread in the Religion section as I want to know the Islamic ruling on this issue as well…and this thread in family is just for ppl’s general opinions..thx!
FH-- yeh kaisai relatives hain bhaee? i hope that you keep your positive outlook on life :) because their reasons dont resonate any sort of sense to me
Thats an interesting point you raised Faatma. On one hand you can see their point that you should enjoy your life while you can because you never know whats just around the corner. But on the other hand, why would you go against mediacal advice given to you for your own benefit?
** punjabi kurri ** Allah na karay tum pe aisa time ayay
** isloo_ki_anarkali**, thanks according to them though they are the ones with the positive and more cheerful outlook since they want to live a worry free life by being carefree and not worrying about consequences. it is quite confusing.
** shahreen ** they are going against medical advice given for their good, but they believe that the non-parhezi lifestyle they have adopted is the best thing for them. i can see their point too but it makes me worried about their health.
Hmmm ....fatima, i feel these kind of attitude needs some good counselling, i know it doesnt help always but sometimes it really does....even if it wont work for the first time , one has to try harder when it comes to convince people like these, but i've seen it makes a difference, and usally its got to be someone with whom that person is closely attached...... :)
I had a patient in CCU once who came with Angina ... a male ... in his late sixties.... His son and buhu were littrelly begging him not to smoke and exert but he just wasn't listening .... !!! We had quite an argument because there were people all over the place with MI (heart attack) but all he wanted to do was just light another cigarette....!!
Diabetes and Heart disease are silent killers. People are so not aware of the slow and accumulative hazard that these diseases keep causing and people only start noticing when something miserable has already happened.
I 'd say ... Tell them that life is certainly a gift. And That they can make a huge difference in their life expectancy with every meal that they eat carefully.
I don't wanna bore anyone but diabetes is the mother of a hundred diseases...... and every single day that your blood sugar is not STRICTLY under control .... is a day of multiple things going wrong within many systems inside your body... which will lead to one or the other major diseases.... death may have to come when it has to come.. but what about strokes and disabilities.. amputations and renal failures.
** kashish ** thanks sis you are right, i should keep trying slowly and try to change their outlook inshallah :k: but its weird, sometimes i myself start getting convinced by them!!!
** gooni_2000 ** thanks for sharing that :k: yup i understand and agree with what you are saying
i am like ur relativez kaki-FH.. :K:
merna to hai hi aik din aur waise bhi yeh sab batein [bemari shemari] bahanay hi to hein...jis ne ajj kerna hai us ne mer jana hai...khali apit ho yan 10 shadion ke khanay kha ker aya ho...us ne mer jana hai...baat khatam...
** moon ** bhai, :~) jee it is true and it makes all us young ones in the family quite worried…btw, acha hua aap log aunty ko doctor ke paas le ke chalay jatay hayn :k: waise ik baat hae, shayid aap agree kerein, ammion pe zor chal jata hay par abbuon pe naheen
** dervoo ** bhai, merna toh hay aur har kisi ka wakt bhee mukarrar hay no doubt…i havent been able to make up my mind about this, but it sure is painful to see ur relatives sufferring and then it is automatic to blame oneself ke why did i not insist more ke perhayz karayn or come to the doctor…
I understand that this mentality is quite rampant in our desi community. Old tareekay, nayi zindagi. We tend to eat such items which will cause ourselves to be prone to diseases, yet we are as lethargic as ever due to the amenities of transportation and other items that make our lives much easier.
If it was up to me, I'd gross them out w. a medical slide show.
I can go into an in-depth medical analysis, but I don't want to bore anyone.
But its very very important that they watch out. I agree 100% w. you sis,
and continue in your pursuits to change their habits. May Allah Bless you, and your family in this noble cause.
i don't know if it is total ignorance or it is some prophecy that these people are trying to fulfill........these people don't realize that death is not the end result of their medical conditions.........the heart patient obviously doesn't realize that he could also suffer from a stroke that could leave him paralyzed therefore that would be a fate worse then death to be living that way........as for the diabetic, she should also realize that the complications of diabetes are far worse; losing her eyesight for one, amputation of her limbs, or even kidney damage.
Maybe to these folks their line of "marna to ek din waise bhi hai" sounds very poetic but the realities of their medical conditions are very serious and death will not necessarily be the end result; their day to day lives could end up becoming a living hell. They need to become more responsible because they aren't doing anything good for themselves.
To tell u the truth I would say that these people are nah-shukar........
my mother suffers from a heart condition, she had a mitral valve replacement about 6 years ago, she's had a pace-maker put in as well, and is on countless medications but she makes sure she is doing everything that she can to prolong whatever life she has left..........recently we were told that she is going through congestive heart failure, her heart has become veryyyyyyyy weak and is functioning only at 20% and within the next few years that will further decrease and in the end she will have to opt for a heart transplant........but she is still fighting and we have left the end result in allah's hands because is the creator and he is the taker..........but these people who are hell bent on doing themselves in.........i pray everyday that allah gives her strenght to cope and her health gets better
^----Quite knowledgeable indeed,
and aside from the various surgeries and complications, there are emotional effects upon both the person and the loved ones.
Again, no need to get any more technical, basic point is just eat healthy, exercise, and be more conscious.
** moon ** bhai, yup, somethin like that :~) and also ammis are so much more easily convinced :~)
** y2mu ** jazakAllah bro yup u r right thats soooooo true… :k:
** tassavuur ** sis, thanks for sharing that here :~) mashallah very inspiring :k: i pray that inshallah your mom’s health improves quickly and she is successful in her eforts, Allah surely helps those who help themselves and inshallah she will be fine soon :k:
