**meray dil ki hai yehi arzoo mujhay tu hi bus mila karay
yoon hi chaahay mujh ko taamam umr na shikaitain na gila karay
meri chahtain, meri khwahishain, meri zindagi hai teray liye****
meri Rub say yehi dua hai bus..tujhay koi na mujh say juda karay
meray khwaab meray ye rat-jagay meri neend bhi hai teray liye****
meri zindagi jo bachi hai ab; teray naam is ko khuda karay
mujhay zindagi say gila nahi mujay tujh say bus yehi Aas hai****
maiN bhi chahooN tujh ko sada yoon hi tu wafa karay ya jafa karay
ye woh faislay hain meray sanam jinhay koi bhi na mita saka****
ye to faislay hain naseeb k inhay kasay koi mita karay
meri zindagi maiN khizaan hai bus na bahaar kabhi aa saki****
yehi ashq mera naseeb haiN koi Gul khushi ka khila karay**
Mujhey nahi samajh aai ye ghazal....sorry :( very loosly knitted. Lambi behroN ki ghazaleiN mujhey achi lagti heiN, lekin unhey sambhaalna llikhney waaley ke leeye mushkil hota hey. I am sure kisi barrey shaer ki hi takhleeq ho gi ye ghazal bhi, lekin aesa lag raha hey ke ghazal ke khaol meiN zabardast ya be-fikri sey alfaaz bharey gaey heiN, unhey ghazal meiN properly embed nahi kia gaya.
ya i agree with amal
kuch aisa hai jab hum ghazal parhtay ya suntay hain to uska har shair aik he lay me parha jata hai
magar is ghazal me flow toot toot sa raha hai kahin
ya phir hum usay theek say parh nahi paa rahay jaisay shayer nay chaha hai
Aaj kal aap chohtti behr ki ghazal seekh rahey haiN mujhay ilm hai :-p… Agar meiN iss k saath kisay barray mashhoor Shaair ka naam laga deti to aap meiN se kisi meiN itni himmat nahiN honi thi Ghalti nikalni ki
thori buhat Shaairi ki samajh boojh tou hum bhi rakhtay haiN… ye banawaTi ghazal nahiN hai..Shaair / Shaaira k Dil k Cha’nd Alfaaz haiN shaaid jisay correction kiye bina hi manzar-e-aam pe laaya gaya hai shaaid…Well Insan waqt k saath seekhta jaata hai…
Thanks for your reply
khush rahiye…
DS as i said Kamzori yaqeenan hai iss meiN lekin seekhnay k mawaqey bhi tou yunhi mila kartay haiN na…Umeed hai jis ne bhi likhi hai wuh waqt k saath buhat kuch seekh lay ga/ gi
Thanks Shab ..
aaho Ji ab tou lagta hai mujhay hi iss ki nok-palak sanwaarni paRey gi
Thank you muddi ji
samajh samajh k samajh ko samjho, samajh samajhna bhi ik samajh hai..samajh samajh k jo na smajhay
aisi koi baat nahi hai gul
kisi bhi shayer ki har takhleeq shahkaar nahi hoti chahay wo bara shayer ho ya chota
aur wese bhi yaha (INTIKHAB section) me hum poetry he ko tarjeeh deay hain shayer ko nahi
to apka ye kehna k agar kisi baray shayer ka naam ata to koi kuch na kehta is not right
kher kisi nay b burayi nahi ki ghazal ki sirf apnay POV he batayay hain
thanks
khush rahayay
^
aik waqeya hai aik painter ney shahr meiN apni painting laga di aur neechey likh diya ghaltiyoN ki nishan-dahi ki jaaey…poori tasweer bhar gai ghaltiyoN ki..next day uss ne tasweer pe likh diya ghaltiyoN ki nishan-dahi kar k durust ki jaaeiN lekin kuch na huwa
meiN ne aesa bhi nahi kaha, tanqeed jab tak na ho seekhney ka moqa bhi nahiN milta…
meiN ne aaj hi buhat sey thread dekheiN heiN intekhaab meiN famous poets ki ghazals un k bhi aik do sheir meiN kuch jhol paaya jaata tha lekiN uss taraf tou kisi ney nishan-dahi nahiN ki :-p anyhow
konsa meiN ne likhi hai jo meiN tareef say khush ho jaaon gi ghaltiyaaN durust karney ki taraf aap ka dheyaan kyuN nahiN gaya
chaleiN ji sab khush raheiN meiN to new likhnay waaloN ko support kart huuN bas… mashhoor shaair k kalaam say to duniya mustafeed hoti hi rehti hai
**mere Khayaal se koi bhii baa-zaabta shaa'ir ho usse bahr kii aGhlaat kaa imkaan naa ke baraabar hotaa hai magar chuN k Ghazal koi ek banda urdu se roman meN likhtaa hai to basaa auqaat alfaaz saHvan hadaf ho jaate haiN aur phir dusra koi use hoo ba hoo "naql chaspaaN (copy paste)] kar detaa hai aur is taraH Ghazal kii aslii soorat masaKh ho jaatii hai aur aisii mushkilaat vujood meN aatii haiN...Khair :D
hameN Khuda na Khowaasta isaatizah ke kalaam kii tanqees maqsood nahiN :D
**
mere Khayaal se koi bhii baa-zaabta shaa'ir ho usse bahr kii aGhlaat kaa imkaan naa ke baraabar hotaa hai magar chuN k Ghazal koi ek banda urdu se roman meN likhtaa hai to basaa auqaat alfaaz saHvan hadaf ho jaate haiN aur phir dusra koi use hoo ba hoo "naql chaspaaN (copy paste)] kar detaa hai aur is taraH Ghazal kii aslii soorat masaKh ho jaatii hai aur aisii mushkilaat vujood meN aatii haiN...Khair :D
I am just wondering what Amal and KKF and dead soul are trying to say
lagay raho bacho :-p
