Na janey kab tum sey bat kartey kartey Main tumharey lafzon k shikanjey mein Jakri gai Kab tum ney sehar phoonka’ Kab mujh pe tumhara fasson chala Kab main tumhari aseer hui Pata hi nahin chala
***Na janey kab tumhen *** khuab dekhney chor do ki takeed kartey kartey main khud tumharey sapney dekhney lagi tumhen haqeeqat ki dunia mein latey latey na janey kab main khud khuabon mein kho gai pata hi nahin chala
na janey kab tumharey sath chaltey chaltey
tumhhen manzil ka rasta dikhatey huey
main khud bhatak gai
apna rasta chor k
tumharey sath ho li
na janey kab tumhari manzil ko
apni manzil samajhney lagi
pata hi nahin chala Na janey kab Tumhen razdari ki takeeeed kartey kartey Main tumhari baten Chand taron sey karney lagi Apney dukh deewaron sey kehney lagi
***Apney ansuon sey *** Takiye ki pyas bujhaney lagi Pata hi nahin chala
***Na janey kab *** Tumharey name ki mehndi rachaney ki khuahish mein Main apni hatheliyan Apney hi lahu mein surkh kar baithi Pata hi nahin chala Han itna yaad hai K jab pata chala Muhabbat k safar mein Main bohat door ja chuki thi Ab chahun b to Wapis palat nahin sakti Main janti hun k meri qismat mein Adhoori masafat ki thakan k siwa Kuch b nahin Lekin phir b main chahun b to Wapis palat nahin sakti
Re: meri qismat mein adhoori masafat ki thakan k siwa kuch b nahin
Althought i don't like to read long poems but in ur case i can't takeoff my eyes from the poem ....really it seems that someone is telling story ...... ur way of writing is quite impressive ..... pata naheen keon lagat hay kah tum .....
Manziloon key baat choro, kiss nay pai pai manzaleen
Ek safar acha raha , hamsafar acha laga
Re: meri qismat mein adhoori masafat ki thakan k siwa kuch b nahin
thx hacker, wowwwwwww sanan g, aap k aik sher k samney meri poori poem dhari ki dhari reh gai , shayad sanan g kuch aisa hi hai k aik safar acha raha hamsafar acha laga hosla afzai k liye mamnoon hun sanan, koshish karun gi k ainda mukhtasir likhun,
Re: meri qismat mein adhoori masafat ki thakan k siwa kuch b nahin
I have no explanation how I missed it Rani ji aap ki nazm parrh kar bohat lutf aaya. Nazm taveel zaroor hey, lekin kaheiN bhi bojhal-pan ka ehsaas nahi hota. Ye likhney waaley ki aek barri khubhi shumaar hoti hey. Nazm meiN gehraai to hey hi, lekin tarteeb bhi maojood hey. A commendable piece of poetry indeed :k: Thanx for sharing it with us :~) And as Gul said, please try to participate in Bait Bazi - Personal Edition as well :~)
Re: meri qismat mein adhoori masafat ki thakan k siwa kuch b nahin
be had shukriyaaaaaaa amal g, mujhey aap k coments ka bari shidat sey intizar tha as aap sab ko reply kar rahey they mujhey nahin, to main soch rahi thi k shayad meri nazam aap k zoq k mutabiq nahin hai aap ki pasand pe poori nahin utri is liye aap ki nazr-e-karam sey mehroom hai
aap ney pari or meri hosla afzai b ki be had mamnoon hun, or bait bazi k main khud ko ehal nahin pati , inshaallah koshish karun gi k aap logon ki ye farmaish poori kar sakun
Rani ji aap ki nazm parrh kar bohat lutf aaya. Nazm taveel zaroor hey, lekin kaheiN bhi bojhal-pan ka ehsaas nahi hota. Ye likhney waaley ki aek barri khubhi shumaar hoti hey. Nazm meiN gehraai to hey hi, lekin tarteeb bhi maojood hey. A commendable piece of poetry indeed :k: Thanx for sharing it with us :~) And as Gul said, please try to participate in Bait Bazi - Personal Edition as well :~)