so last night, we were out discussing the rents of houses, and my husband was telling me that the rents nowadays are so high that despite earning good, he cant afford to move out from his parents home, which was a bit sad for me though and i just sighed " does that mean we are not going to have our own home for long?" He said " why do you need a separate home?" I replied “its my right to have a separate place of my own”
to which he replied " who said that? where did you read that from? you are thinking wrong, nobody said its a right of a women (as per religion he meant) to have a place of her own" i mean he was asking me it is a right given to women by religion?
dont take me wrong, but after living in a house with so many people for so many years, i just wanted to move out to have a little more space with my kids. Me and inlaws are on good terms though, no such issue, but still i thought it was my right to ask my husband for a small place of my own. Though i didnt ask, it just came during the discussion, but he kind of told me it was not going to happen anytime soon lol.
I just need to know is it true? kia aurat ko yeh haq dia hai Islam nay? if this is the case, i need reference. Now i am confused that maybe i was wrong, i mean i can or can not have my own place, but maybe its not according to religion.
you just need a shelter where u, your husband, your kids can live peacefully and safely...roti kapRaa and shelter [NOT a house of your own] is your right as a wife but you have to live within your means and that should reflect your status, whatever it is...that of a rich family, a middle class family or a poor family. your living must be in accordance with what you got!
one must be happy with what he/she has got and keep trying for the better.
As per my knowledge the Islamic perspective on this is that woman has a right to have a separate, private place to live in and this must be provided by the husband. now by the separate place this has not specifically mentioned that it has to be an altogether separate house built away from the husband's family house. a separate place for wife is referred to as her own private room, bathing space and cooking space. a demand for the entire separate house is not at all prohibited or disliked but it is also not made "Farz" on the husband. so it is left on the couples to mutually decide according to their unique circumstances whether they should or should not go for a separate house.
again this is only according to what i have known.
I don't have a reference but I listened to a lecture in Ramadan talking about the rights of a wife and this is one of those things. If not separate house you have the rights to your own space even within the same home so nobody is constantly in each others faces and has their own room to breathe. At the same time just simply wanting it from your heart isn't good enough for your husband? Whether or not he can afford it is a separate issue but at least accepting not only do you have the right but just understanding your need for your own space where you are free to move with complete freedom isn't good enough?
hmm by a separate place, i mean to say yes a simple place, be it small, be it an apartment or just a portion. I just meant a place, 2 rooms, a kitchen, which i can decorate on my own, where i can cook on my own.... is it a right given to women by Islam? if it is, i need reference.
Its not that i want him to buy me something by hook or crook, its just 'when possible' i want a place of my own. Its just a wish, but for everything i have to convince him lol anyhow it was just for debate as well
h*mm by a separate place, i mean to say yes a simple place, be it small, be it an apartment or just a portion. I just meant a place, 2 rooms, a kitchen, which i can decorate on my own, where i can cook on my own.... is it a right given to women by Islam? if it is, i need reference.*
Its not that i want him to buy me something by hook or crook, its just 'when possible' i want a place of my own. Its just a wish, but for everything i have to convince him lol anyhow it was just for debate as well
Islam as a religion is bigger and better than that.
There might be direct s hadees or ayah to support this right of side, but lifestyle of prophet and sahaba tells us that if the wife demands a separate quarters of her own, husband is obligated to provide. Even then, he can't just provide a hut or a cottage, but had to provide the same or similar lifestyle that the girl had at her own home.
All of prophet's wives had their own quarters. Hazrat Fatima was living independently with her husband.
"Let the women live in the same stile as u live, according to your means and annoy them not, so as to restrict them "
Can he afford it? Also just curious is it ur want or need?
Also as per hanafi school of thought its necessary for husband to provide a shelter which is free from interference of his family if wife demands so. Husband can also fullfill his duty by providing a saperate section in same house where his family can not enter without wife's permission.
I wonder if you are aware but I think the Holy Prophet saw provided different "homes" for his wives. And they were one room apartments with very little space. So much so that bed pallets needed to be rolled in time to pray. So if you want islamic perspective, he might just be required to provide u with this much. Do not rock the boat. You are living where you are for a reason.