He is a sweet kid but i feel he has no direction in life. Graduating from high school - i find him so lost. He is not sure what he wants to do with this life and it bothers me.
I had some direction when i started college so did my other sister. Ami ji gave direction to her but guys are different.
I have seen guys who didnt have any direction in life they went no where. In terms of their career.
I am afraid i just want him to be successful.
I am afraid to let him face the world on his own - he is my little bhai and i love him.
We always had very open conversation - he knows we can talk about anything even about girls i hate talking about it but i would rather be on his side].
mein kia karon…
why is it so difficult for me to let him deal with his own life - I am scared that hey may not be able to make wise desicions.
mein kia karon?
When i am talking to him all i hear myself is saying this
you should do this! apply here - go there - see so and so teacher… get recommendation from so and so…
i care about him alot and love him - he is my chota bhai…
What if he makes a mistake and usually men don't like to try so hard. I mean kids who grow up here if they don't get what they want most of them don't fight back they give up and move away from it.
how do i tell myself that let him go - once he has his bachelors i would let him fly wherever he wants to go but mein abhi kia karon...
leave him alone..he's a guy and different than your sister who is a girl.
the max you can do, is help him find a direction. not by giving him orders. but by sitting down with him, and trying to find his interest. what he's good at? what courses he liked in high school? in his freshman year, let him take courses from a variety of fields. u can show him the direction by helping him find what interests him the most. and supporting him in doing whatever he does. don't be the typical lakeer kay faqeer desi by saying keh bassss medical hi karna hay (which i'm sure you are not).
he'll learn by making mistakes..but if u don't let him make mistakes he won't learn.
What if he makes a mistake and usually men don't like to try so hard. I mean kids who grow up here if they don't get what they want most of them don't fight back they give up and move away from it.
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yes I understand. But then one should get some grace marks for making mistakes and learning from them. It is wrong to understimate anothjer person by thinking that they cannot survive without you(even if u r trying to protect them).
we are not forcing him to do medical… Heck i am a girl and i am in business! Thats going against the pukhtan traditions totally - i know few family members prolly want to kill me by now - but thats besides the point.
He has interest in medical and reason - its alot of money - You should’nt be doing something if you don’t really know what well are you falling in.
dewana - when i started college i searched at programs what they offered ? hwo far were they? went to open houses? learned about deans? and all the 9 yards. Whereever i felt comfortable i went there.
you should never do anything for money. cuz daynay ala toh ooper betha hay. Woh kam payson mayn bhi barkat daal sakta hay, aur zyada payson ko pain in the butt bana sakta hay.
well, then u’ll have to do a harsh talk with him. and make him realize keh he has to do something in life. he can’t just not be interested in anything. you have to show him the harsh realities of life. and show him that unless he doesn’t get his act straight, he’ll be in deep trouble all his life. show him examples from people around you who didn’t go to college and are struggling.
i have an idea about what you mean, my brother does have a direction but he is so irresponsible it is scary, and it worries my parents and me,
he is 2 years younger and is just finishing his alevels,
unfortunatly he is extremely strong headed and does what he wants,
i try to talk to him, so do mum and dad,
but sumthing i have learnt while at uni is that you have to make mistakes otherwise you dont learn,
you cant protect your brother forever, he is gonna make mistakes no matter how much you try to shelter him,
It took a lot of hardwork for that yourfriend. I was there with him when he needed me..
All that stupid love dove stuff i sat there and listened like a friend not like a sister..
but as a sister wanted to beat those girls up who had their eyes on my brother.
Nia, I am going through the same thing. My youngest baby brother who is going to graduate from HS in June this year. He has already been accepted into a very good college and is planning on going. But to let him go.....is so hard. He is going to be living in a dorm. I have sooooooooooooooo many fears. He is a good kid...but that's the thing he is a kid! I don't want him to make any mistakes that he will later regret.
I guess i just don't want to let go of him. I want him to be a very successful person both as a human and a good muslim but i am scared. I am scared of the kind of ppl he will come across. I am scared of peer pressure.
I guess all you can do is guide them and pray that Allah Jee keeps them on the right path. Ameen.
good idea. it is his elders responsibility to make him realize what is right for him now. the temptations of goofing off are there. but its his elders responsiblity to give him focus. and trust me, all it takes is him finding something that interests him. and it could be anything. cars, music, art, space. whatever it maybe.
but as a sister wanted to beat those girls up who had their eyes on my brother.
beat up those girls? .. hehe strange.. I would rather beat up my brother Who is letting loose those kinda girls on him. afterall he is the one who is at fault, not those girls.
mywish - i think we all need help - bas dua karo Allah help kar dein warna hum sab ka kaam ho jaey ga... *makes hath for dua... come join me my wish...
mahru - peer pressure :( dont talk about it some of his friends i can take dhobi walo ka ballaa and beat those boys up- They think orange and pink is a sexy color leave their shirt open to show their chest hair. Shukar hai my brother is not like that. He is in to red shirts i can deal with that but he wears a shirt under his
tshirt.
yourfriend- I know my bhai is a handsome guy Mashallah. He has the height the looks mashallah - and girls like that ihave seen young girls taking a peak at my brother. And then i come in the picture and give them those eyes... heck if it was up to me i would hide him in burkha
- You should’nt be doing something if you don’t really know what well are you falling in.
