Mentally torturing your spouse

my mums friend’s brother has just recently died. he was hit by a train in lahore. apparently, his wife was a horrible person to him, she abused him physically and mentally and even said that she wished her husband was dead. They had been married for approx 6 years and have a 4 year old kid. he had scratches on his arm, she didnt care about him at all, never gave him clean clothes or fed him properly. He even lost his job in Saudi Arabia because of the his state of mind. They had an argument the day before he died and she went to live with her mum, he was going to his mother in laws to bring his wife back home but ended up getting hit by a train. everyone says that he was sooo deep in thought that he didnt realise a train was coming.

so it got me thinking, what does this kind of stuff happen? husbands mentally torturing their wives, wives torturing their hubbies. is the fact that we like to show our control on our spouse, do we like to see how weak they are and that they know they will never stand up to them or say anything back ?

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

Oh how sad. :( May Allah grant his family patience to deal with this tragedy.

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

I have experienced this first hand, the only logical explanations I could think of was schadenfreude OR just plain controlling and crazy.

She may have liked annoying her husband and found it fun (which is what I experienced) or she thinks so much of herself that she thinks her husband is beneath her, personally I think it's a combination of both.

Another thing I think about your acquaintance is suicide, although that's pretty extreme imo. Shame he had a kid, otherwise he should have told her to get lost.

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajion

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

Because we made Talaq a taboo thing in our society…:k:

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

Ninja: Talaq a taboo? How talaq would have solved the agonies of this man? Even if he had given divorce, he'd remain depressed probably for the rest of his life. For the breaking of his trust, for breaking his confidence etc, all at the hands of a woman who he loved as a wife.

I am really sorry to hear about the death of this man. It could be that he committed suicide, how could a man just get randomly hit by a train. I do not know the specifics about his life. But I truly feel sorry for him and his 4 year old child.

This is the nature of life. We think of spouses as something God-sent. But that is not the case.

Human relationships are more often painful than happy. And that is precisely why I am a misanthrope.

May all here be enlightened enough to realize how feeble humanity is and how feeble human relationships are, may all become misanthropes. InshAllah. Ameen.

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

May Allah swt grant his family the sabr to deal with this tragedy...Ameen.

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ameen.

this happens when we forget that Allah swt has made each relationship with rights and responsibilities and tgat we will be accountable for every time we dont fulfill our responsibilities and snatch away someones right.

i feel sorry for people to whom Allah gave ppl to love but they were so ungrateful and didnt care and just thought ab how miserable they are.

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

It was an accident. To blame his death on his wife is a stretch.

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how is she dealing with it now? and how is she being treated by the guys family? just curious, you can ignore this post if you don't want to tell ...

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajion

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

if this was the guy torturing the lady mentally everybody would have jumped on the "oh how dare he treat her that way, men dont know how to treat women" bandwagon. But cuz its the women doing the torturing, nobody bats an eyelid.

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

a woman can make a man's life hell just by playing mind games.

Mentally torturing your spouse

Is the wife happy now that he's gone? We dont know the whole story, but if this is true than he probably is in happier place.

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That's plain sad.

Mentally torturing your spouse

That's heart breaking. :( may Allah give his family strength to get through this and may Allah help the child as well.

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really very sad :(.

i hope the kid doesnt grow up screwed up

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

exactly

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

I agree with southie. Why didn't he divorce her?

Re: Mentally torturing your spouse

^ For the sake of his child, perhaps.