Re: men raping daughters
Oh my.........
Re: men raping daughters
If you being a male bathe your daughter age 8 naked or help her shower that's a huge red flag in my eyes. Laying with her, reading books and spending time bonding is not the behavior that I'm talking about. Neither kissing, hugging and allowing her to sleep in your arms.
There is a difference in being a father and a predator there are no blurry, grey shaded areas.
It is typical of these honchos, all or nothing.
Where would you guys draw the line, what constitutes sexual abuse? That's even if you choose to call it that!
Re: men raping daughters
Fuzzy - abuse is norlt specific to Pak. Happens everywhere. Also making a sweeping statement abt giving a shower - thus accusing lots of decent folks - probably not a good approach.
In general I agree with you that OP has raised a difficult topic. Hence easier to call OP filthy. But that is not right either. Unfortunately no one else spoke up for OP. Kudos to you for doing so. It is good to go against the grain when appropriate.
Re: men raping daughters
I am not interested in a "war" or partaking in ego based conversations. I stated my opinion, thoughts and experiences.
Also I never said that this was a Pakistani problem, it's universal. I was trying to relay what my in laws were saying about me. Btw, my father in law, mother in law and my husband felt that he had crossed the line too and thought it was gross.
men raping daughters
Some 8 years old are fast approaching puberty. Is it a good idea to give daughers a bath? Probably should avoid it. What about changing daughetera diapers. My mom generally discouraged my sisters from having their husbands change diapers if possible. One should use discretion at all times. But is it a good idea to jump down everyone throats even if they don't have bad intentions? No!
Re: men raping daughters
I don’t think there is anything wrong with the topic itself. As Deeba mentioned earlier…it’s not that more men are raping or abusing their daughters or other children…it’s just that this is being reported more to the authorities.
I call is sexual abuse where something sexual is being done in order to obtain pleasure and/or gain control over the child. It can be anything from watching sexual videos/pics…touching…talking about sexual “stuff”…all the way to sex. There is a perverse intent behind the actions.
One of my husband’s co-worker was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and currently is going through chemo/radiation. Due to her condition, these days her husband does pretty much everything for their 2 daughters…approx. 5 and 7…including bathing, helping them get dressed, putting them in bed etc. Due to the stress, the 5 year old has recently started wetting the bed at night. Guess who changes her sheets and helps her change her clothes? The dad. I have a neighbor who’s a single dad of a 12 year old girl. Last year the girl suffered a sports injury and ended up with a broken arm. Since its just her and her dad in the house…guess who helped her take showers and even get dressed? Her dad.
Yes, SOME men have perverse agendas for doing things like giving their daughters a bath. But NOT ALL men are like that! Each situation should be judged individually. I have no idea what on earth gave you the idea the every-single-father in this planet is having sexual thoughts or a sexual attraction towards their daughters just b/c he is helping her take a bath. 
I actually find it pretty sad that you have such a low opinion of men.
Re: men raping daughters
I don't have a sad opinion of men just perverts and people who make assumptions, like you!
I agree everything should be judged individually.
His wife was there, her older 2 sisters were there. The residents of our home all felt uncomfortable with this behavior. You assumed he was a single father? Where are all these silly comments coming from?
I am not talking about diaper changes either.
This thread is about men raping daughters, not dumping on me because I wrote what I felt, this forum encourages it. My original post was not personal, but this type of troll like behavior towards me is taking away from the real issue. Sexual abuse. It exists and the OP felt it was a necessary topic worth discussing. End of.
Re: men raping daughters
^ 
No, I didn’t assume that the father in your story was single. 1 of the dad’s in my example happened to be single…that is all. But I have no idea why whether or not the mother was there makes a difference. Single dads can be perverts too.
The point is that its absolutely ridiculous and sad that you (and the residents in your home) think that there is something perverse about a father giving his 8 year old daughter a bath. The ONLY “justification” for this view is that the father is a male.
Yes I know this thread is about men raping their daughters. And that’s why I’m amazed that you felt it would be appropriate to include a father who was simply giving his daughter a bath as an example of sexual abuse.
There are fathers out there that sexually abuse their sons. There are plenty of cases where mothers have sexually abused their sons and/or daughters. Sexual abuse exists period. And a major part of this problem is people’s refusal to talk about it. But attitudes where only fathers are targeted simply b/c they are men (ie. a man giving his daughter a bath) doesn’t help the situation either. Women (i.e.. mothers) are given a free pass…yet it makes people uncomfortable that a father is doing something to take care of his daughter…and the ONLY reason behind this discomfort is that he’s a man.
Re: men raping daughters
I feel it’s absolutely ridiculous and sad that you think giving an 8 year old girl been given a shower by her father is normal. It is different perceptions.
I feel that it is indecent and not necessary.
My husband relayed that he would never bathe or change our daughter. I haven’t help shower my boys since they were five, my husband does. Does this make me a less loving mother or him father, no way. There should be a line.
I’m amazed at how people here think its normal.
I mean how old does a girl have to be in order for her father to stop helping her with showers???
Most sexual predators are male. And most vulnerable sex are female. This is a norm. Females can be predators and males are victims too.
Nevertheless, I don’t want people ramming down my throat to having a difference of opinion.
Most predators don’t even think their behavior is harmful, they feel that it should be acceptable and the norm. They are loving the child in their own way.
What about changing daughetera diapers. My mom generally discouraged my sisters from having their husbands change diapers if possible.
By same logic a mother should be discouraged for changing diapers of theirs son. Which is ridicules.
If I ever had a daughter and my husband refused to help me wither her changing diapers or giving her a bath just because she is a girl, I will have a huge fight with him
Re: men raping daughters
@fuzzypeach, matters like these need discretion and you have to handle it well. You cannot just go and accuse any person of abusing his child.
They way you reacted to that man who stayed over at your place, that is a dangerous way. You can ruin the life of an innocent person. Defame him and ruimn his image forever.
If you don't have any proof, and there is no indication that a person is a molestor, then don't try to find things which are not there. Becasue with this attitude of yours, you will see a predator in every person.
And nobody is denying that there are sick people around. But your accusations are based on nothing.
Being too emotional about matters is never good.
You also seem to be amazed that people here think it is normal if a father washes his little daughter. From what I know about these people (and I dont know any of them personally, but from forum posts) they are reasonable (in general) and if the father in your story had done anything unacceptable, then no one would have ignored that fact.
Re: men raping daughters
I feel it's absolutely ridiculous and sad that you think giving an 8 year old girl been given a shower by her father is normal. It is different perceptions. I feel that it is indecent and not necessary. My husband relayed that he would never bathe or change our daughter. I haven't help shower my boys since they were five, my husband does. Does this make me a less loving mother or him father, no way. There should be a line. I'm amazed at how people here think its normal.
90% of the time my wife would change the diapers of our kids (1 son/2 daughters). But I have also changed their nappies every now and then. Nothing unusual about that.
When it comes to helping the kids with a bath then it's more like 99% wife/1% me. But again there is nothing unusual about me helping my daughters take a bath either. Once they are 9 or 10 they shouldn't need any help for taking a bath anyway.
I feel it is ridiculous to accuse someone of being perverse when he is helping his 8-year old daughter with a bath. That you would even think he had bad intentions is just sick.
Re: men raping daughters
Fuzzypeach:
Thing is medical students in pakistan think major cause of death is heart diseases .
In reality in pakistan it is(was) stomach related diseases.
Reason why they think like that is they read western books.
I read abnormal psychology as a teen, I knew at that point there some(actually) many
sickness which have not penetrated in our own society. Or better they don’t have ground to thrive in our society,
Now get this, as a man and as paki I can tell you, we were well trained not have intimacy till we get married.
On the other hand west/africa they think its there right or basic need to have you know … And it cant be denied.
As a clear results the famous rapes in prison don’t happen in pakistan or such countries.
But in west straight :halo: men start sexing other men when no women around.
You get a hint ???
Now stop being* neem hakeem kahtray jaan*