Is it such a crime these days to have your wife’s parents living with you? Honestly..why is it so taboo these days?
“The Hour will not come … until nearly thirty “dajjals” (liars) appear, each one claiming to be a messenger from Allah.” (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
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it is an insult to the all-powerful and self sufficient man in our male dominated society to be living on someone else's bread. and ofcourse since its an insult, it automatically carries on to his family and past 40 generations, thus succesfully dissolving the family's honour and integrity in the dirty sand on clifton beach.
ps: sarcasm alert (sorry cant help it!!)
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transistion thats troublesome -Isaac Asimov
I didn't understand what u mean here. Did u ask,
1) Man living with his wife in the house of his parents-in-law
or
2) Man living with his wife in his own house & his parents-in-law moved in with them.
These are two entirely different scenarios ... please explain what exactly u are asking?
ASK Cheegum ,he is the first one to jump in ....
I agree withn you about thw ambiguity of the question.In laws living with husband or HUSBAND living with the in -laws.
ALSO its a OLD custom ,NOT new !!In modern world liberalism is the prevailing theme ....
Well both ways--a hubby living with his wife's family in their home (in the case of having only children that are girls..or a single child) or a hubby having his in-laws living with him in his home.
"The Hour will not come ... until nearly thirty "dajjals" (liars) appear, each one claiming to be a messenger from Allah." (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
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From my experience, I have seen that women take care of their parents much better than men. Or at least the families I know.
My parents have "issues" living with me and brother, but when they visit my sisters (sometimes for extend months) they don't have any trouble getting along.
It can be either due to the fact that they consider my sister's house as her husbands place while when they are with me or my brother they tend to think its 'their house' and so should be catered to according to their liking.
i think its perfectly normal to live with inlaws (talking about guys here)..i have seen it in three generations of my family..one of my mom’s uncle did that as his mother in law was a widow and his wife doesn’t had brothers. My own chacha is now living with his inlaws in karachi. My chachi doesn’t have have any brothers and the sister that used to live with parents moved here in my city..so my chacha’s family live with in laws..and alhumdullilah everything is fine..infact, i have heard that my chacha takes really good care of chachi’s parents (chachi’s mom is my dad’s phupho btw)..so its all like a family
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And once my phupha lived in our family house in karachi for few years and took care of my dada..and when my passed away my phupho’s family moved..And insha-Allah when i get married my husband is gonna come to canada and live with us i.e my family
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Once again, i don’t see anything wrong with it.
Qrius, I’m not saying that ALL of the men won’t live with their in-laws, but some really do make a big deal out of it…unfortunately I know plenty of people who make their in-laws life very difficult
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But Alhamdulilah, I’m glad to see your family is working well with the idea
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“The Hour will not come … until nearly thirty “dajjals” (liars) appear, each one claiming to be a messenger from Allah.” (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
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Id make a big deal out of it too.
The occasions where such an arrangement can work are those where there are no siblings of the wife at home....or they are otherwise related as well, i-e, cousins or such.
Ego is a major factor, yes, but even practically, its very hard to call your wife's home your own. Even Islamically, your wife's home is not your own. You can live in it with her permission of course, but you can never call it your own...similar to dowry, or meher.
But this doesnt apply to the situation where one's wife's parents live with you. The comfort level in this case mainly depends on how well you get along with your parents in law. If you get along with them fine, you will be able to live with them fine as well.
[This message has been edited by Akif (edited June 25, 2002).]
Hinna
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In feudal setting it was more common.Being from Sindh ,i guess it must still be very common.
Its true women b/c of caring nature of there gender (why almost 90% of the nurses are women)are more devoted to think of her parents more than the brothers even when she is not the only child
My Sisters used to say ,mother took care of 5 of you & 5 of you cant take care of one of her !!!
Allah subhanotalla ,not only my sisters took care of her parents but my brother -in- laws parents too for which my love & respect for them has only increased.
There is a term in olden days when some men did go to live in his sasural & its called "ghar Jamai "meaning live in son in law .
I dont think it wrong for right situation but not somthing that i even faced in my life .
“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” – Unknown
[quote]
Originally posted by ahmadjee:
**From my experience, I have seen that women take care of their parents much better than men. Or at least the families I know.
My parents have "issues" living with me and brother, but when they visit my sisters (sometimes for extend months) they don't have any trouble getting along.
It can be either due to the fact that they consider my sister's house as her husbands place while when they are with me or my brother they tend to think its 'their house' and so should be catered to according to their liking. **
[/quote]
I find that to be the case with my dadi.. She always perfers her daughters over the sons... Go figure?!
I think sometimes its easier..
for example.. Salman and I both work and go to school.. so we come home around 10:30 every night.. can you imagine having to cook and stuff... or when one is out the other is completely bored. On the other hand my mom completly in love w/ her only daughter and son in law (salman and myself) would freak if we moved far away. So it works for both sides.. I'll always have company when Salman is at work.. we have an entire floor to ourselves so privacy isnt and issue and my mom loves having us around..
Jaan LeY Hi JaUn ViChoRay
Muniya..
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“The Hour will not come … until nearly thirty “dajjals” (liars) appear, each one claiming to be a messenger from Allah.” (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
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