Re: Men and Arrange Marriages~ Apprehensions.
Namaaz, it is in no way "ownership" of a child that is at issue here. You misunderstood I think. When you have a child, you want nothing but happiness for your child (well vastly most parents do), And a 21 year old boy who has raging hormones can get entangled if, for instance, they meet a well-endowed-pretty-thing who loves a good romp in the hay, kwim? Like a parents worst nightmare. A parent knows who and what their child could live with, who they would be able to love the most etc. It isnt that I want complete control, I'd just like to have something like veto power I guess.
I totally agree with you, but i m talking about a age when they should get married i.e. 26+. At that point controlling some one just create pure anger. Its very sensitive age. Personalities makes or breaks. So parents should be very careful.
Sorry i don't agree that parents know their child best. They only know until they are child. Personalities keep on changing and children are humans too. I personally feel friends are best people to judge you. If parents are like friends, than its different. But in desi families its very rare.
You talked about veto power. I hope u understand what it means. It means shattering all dreams in one blow. Its same like our way or highway. I think only thing to understand here is to make u'r child responsible person. Let him pull his own weight. Let him make a commitment and full fill it. If you look at the bigger picture only thing required out of this whole marriage practice is to have pious and responsible personalities to build better community and in the end better nation.
I think better approach is to help them choose or if they have already made their choice than help them accomplish that. Not only till wedding, but all through life. Being supportive is the key.