Meiree meh-kashi

Teri bey rukhee, zindagi
Peh der peh, herr arzoo bendagi
Kabhi anch kee, kabhee sard see
Wohee baat rahi, na-kahi
Aik lams kee, wohh aik harf see
Mit-tee nahi, likhtee rahi…
Reitlee, phir bhee kheree
Chilmilateye inn seb khaboon kee
aik abadi jeiseye ho hari
faket zindagi

bohet naaz ka, purkhaloos sath ka
pawan kee bood ka, kiran kee chahoon meye
damekteye pani keye chesmeye sa saaf
wohh aik wajood iss ka
kushi kee duff sa bajata raha
wohh aaya, paas ata raha
bohet hasas sa, bey niyaz sa
pazeib sa rishta jura
bena (becomes) zindagi
chothee heye mager itni see dunya-zindagi
rahet kee khojh, dukhoon seye bhagti zindagi
mauj kee rutoon meye, pabend-e-asool
kee see zindagi

amed-e-diyar ka, sooret-e-hal ka
juz ba juz aik fishar sa
wohh jo aik rehmet sahiba lageye,
wohh zindagi

iss kee taranum meye beye hosh hein
araam seye kiyam na ho,
lau kee neiki apnayit jaga ker
doorii meye tamam ho,
meiree mahkash zindagi
tu bata, teiree rooh ka kiya anjaam ho?

Dushwari

note: any comments or remarks that can help improve the poem, welcome.
it is an incomplete poem - spontaneous and symbolic with multiple themes.
rhymes scheme is essential to keep the flow, but it is not consistent in its pattern.
some concepts are the life, its relation, time and its challenges, environment and other beings around, state of self hood, world’s experience for the spirit, self questioning, qualities of personal responsibility and attributes.

Re: Meiree meh-kashi

:bummer:

Re: Meiree meh-kashi

dushwari ji you have good ideas in all your poems but most of your work doesn't follow any established rhyme pattern or rules of urdu ghazals/poems and hence seems like a hodgepodge of ideas

i like ghazals and don't read alot of poems but if you like writing poems, i'd suggest you read poems of some well established urdu poets and write your own in similar fashion

Re: Meiree meh-kashi

sorry masoom muskaan. did not make any sense at all ? haaw. :>

chacha galib, the free verse poem.. i agree it needs something that is common theme, easy for the reader to latch on to. i will try to compose keeping rhyme scheme in mind, thoughtfully.

thanks,
best,
Dushwari