Can any one explain..
what is religious point of view concerning Meher. Like
- how to decide what is appropriate Amount for meher?
2)when to give it?
3)whome to give it? - what is Meher-Fatmi??
"Mehr" is an arabic term, which essentially means "gift for bride". Its given by husband to his wife
There are no hard and fast rules on what is a minimum or maximum value for it. It should be decided by both husband and wife (or their families) before marriage and should be keeping in view husband's financial means and life-style. There are no rules as to when it should be given, and that is also negotiable. You can give it right at the time of marriage, a day after that, a year after that, in installments or on demand. It can be part money, part gold or any other form. Either way, wife must agree to the terms and the payment plan.
The only thing which is important, is that every husband MUST give a reasonable "mehr" to his wife and that whatever the payment plan may be the "mehr" should be paid off completely before he dies, else it is like a legal obligation due to the wife.
"Mehr" is different from the regular monthly expense-money or pocket-money for the wife. This money belongs 100% to the wife, and should not be confused with household money or joint accounts or anything. It should be given by clearly specifying that this is "mehr".
I hope I didn't make a mistake in the above response. If I did, please feel free to correct it. I am trying to avoid a lengthy cut-and-paste and just give the response in every day language.
I am sorry. I probably did make a mistake. There are some minimum's amounts for mehr. But there is a difference of opinion on it. So you will have to find out yourself, from someone who knows.
Re: Mehr-e-Fatimi... it refers to the mehr which the daughters of Prophet Muhammad (Sallalah o Alaihay Wassalam) were married. There are differences in reporting how much it was.
- According to Ibnul Humam (R.A) the mehr-e-Fatimi is four hundred dirhams. (1224g of silver) (Mirqaat V.6 Pg.246)
Mulla Ali Qari (R.A) states in Mirqaat that the mehr-e-Fatimi is four hundred mithqaal of silver. (1750g) (ibid)
Mufti Muhammed Shafi’s (R.A) verdict is that mehr-e-Fatimi is five hundred dirhams. (Imdadul Muftein V.3-4 Pg.1-2)
Mufti MahmoodHasan Gangohi (R.A) has also stipulated mehr-e- Fatimi to be five hundred dirhams. (+132 tolas=1540g) (Fataawa Mahmoodia V.11 Pg.201) At times his verdict was four hundred mithqaal (+132 tolas=1750g) (Nizam Kanpur -July 1965)
Moulana SiddiqueAhmed Banwi rahas stipulated the mehr-e-fatimi to be four hundred mithqaal, (150 tolas=1750g) (fadhaail Nikah Pg.31) and Moulana Burhanuddin Sambali has also preferred this view.
*]Mufti AbdurRahim Lachpori writes: “The preferred and more cautious view is that the mehr-e-Fatimi be calculated upon 150 tolas of silver.” (1750g) (Fataawa Rahimia V.6 Pg.445)
Some people probably use this as a guide as to how much mehr they should give.
Thanks Faisal .It helps.
Since you said that Meher should always be paid before one dies.In that case shouldnot that be paid right after marriage because you never know when you are gonna die.
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*Originally posted by andha_qanoon: *
Thanks Faisal .It helps.
Since you said that Meher should always be paid before one dies.In that case shouldnot that be paid right after marriage because you never know when you are gonna die.
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That will be the common wisdom. Yes. However, point being, it is a legitimate due, and if the person dies, the wife has the priority to claim her "mehr" from his estate. Then again, this is a long debate on inheritance, which I am sure is not your intention, so I'd stop here. )
Mehr becomes obligatory to give when the marriage is consummated.
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*Originally posted by aMiGo: *
Mehr becomes obligatory to give when the marriage is consummated.
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Can you define 'give'?
I don't think there is a consensus which says mehr has to be paid when marriage is consummated. But I agree that it definitely becomes due when marriage is consummated.
As far as I know, the payment terms can be mutually negotiated and needs to be approved by the wife. It can be 'on demand', 'right now', 'installments', 'deferred', or any other.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by aMiGo: *
Mehr becomes obligatory to give when the marriage is consummated.
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Thats a good poin.Anyone has any comment on this.
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Can you define 'give'?
I don't think there is a consensus which says mehr has to be paid when marriage is consummated. But I agree that it definitely becomes due when marriage is consummated.
As far as I know, the payment terms can be mutually negotiated and needs to be approved by the wife. It can be 'on demand', 'right now', 'installments', 'deferred', or any other.
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Playing with words ?
Not at all. When you used the word "give", it may give the impression that it has to be "paid" right away, which is an incorrect statement in my view.
Assalam-o-alikum
Quotes from Al Quran.. regarding mehr..( gift)
Surah 4 : Al Nisa
*And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer. *
Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess: Thus hath Allah ordained (Prohibitions) against you: Except for these, all others are lawful, provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts from your property,- desiring chastity, not lust, seeing that ye derive benefit from them, give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree Mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise.
Al Baqarah:
2:229 A divorce is only permissible twice: after that, the parties should either hold Together on equitable terms, or separate with kindness. *It is not lawful for you, (Men), to take back any of your gifts (from your wives), except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah. so do not transgress them if any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah, such persons wrong (Themselves as well as others). *
again...
2:236 There is no blame on you if ye divorce women before consummation or the fixation of their dower; but bestow on them (A suitable gift), the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means;- A gift of a reasonable amount is due from those who wish to do the right thing.
I hope these Ayaths must have cleared the whole topic..
P.S : Please Don't Make Allah's order complicated for each other, Lets say Mehr is supposed to be gifted ASAP as per the situation..
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*Originally posted by Faisal: *
Not at all. When you used the word "give", it may give the impression that it has to be "paid" right away, which is an incorrect statement in my view.
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It should be given right away...
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*Originally posted by aMiGo: *
It should be given right away...
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Is that your personal opinion? It may be recommended course of action but I don't think there is any scholarly consensus saying it MUST be PAID rightaway.
There are two kind of Mehers "Moajjal" and "Ghair Moajjal". Grooom has to pay "Moajjal" right agter marraige and for "Ghair Moojjal" wife and husband can decide the schedule.
Thats what i heard. God knows better
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*Originally posted by Nakhrey Wali: *
There are two kind of Mehers "Moajjal" and "Ghair Moajjal". Grooom has to pay "Moajjal" right agter marraige and for "Ghair Moojjal" wife and husband can decide the schedule.
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Thats exactly what I had known and seen. The third type is "indat-talab" which means "On Demand".