I was in Glasgow last week and this black guy was in front of me at the chip shop ordering a deep fried mars bar.
“yo dude, y’all higlanders sho’ eat some crazy $hit” he was saying to the guy behind the counter who looked a bit non-plussed.
so he turns round and catches my eye and who is it? None other than bad boy rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg giving it some gangsta attitude in Glasgow’s fish bars.
[thumb=C]snoop.JPG[/thumb]
“Yo..” he said, " you be’s dat Xtreme dude whut thinks so highly o’ his’self.." leered the Snoopster. "well lemme tell ya sumpin’ homie, i’s dedicated a track offa ma next albumn showin’ everybody who’s da real boss an it goes like dis:
rollin’ wid ma crew
i be’s havin’a blast
ain’t lookin for trouble
dat’s all in the past
but if I see Xtreme
i’ll pop a cap in his ass 
“so whut you think bout dat den Mr big shot Xtreme?” he challenged.
“Well I said, “does the cap have to be popped in the ass” I said…” I mean couldn’t it be somewhere else for a change" I ventured uncertainly.
“like where..?” he glowered.
“Well how about your ass…” I said helpfully.
Just as Snoop’s considerable jaw was hitting the deck, in walked a large black woman which it turns out was the Dogg’s mother
[thumb=C]Mammy1.JPG[/thumb]
“So dat’s where you bin skulkin’, tellin’ me you’s gwanna go to de store to get some o’ yo’ favourite chocolate candy, an’ den comin’ here an’ givin’ dat nice Mr Xtreme grief insteayad! I’s gwanna whup yo’ li’l black behind so hard it’s gwanna turn pink..!” she stormed.
“No Mama, I was just tryin’ to get Mr Xtreme’s autograph…don’t be whuppin’ ma ass…I promises to be a good boy” blubbered the now penitent gangsta rapper.
He was still bawling when he was marched out of the shop held by the ear by his furious mum.
Everyone in the queue cheered at the embarassing demise of the surly star - except for the chip shop guy..
“Oi Mr Doggy Doog, ye didnae pay fer yer mars bar…” he complained loudly 
