Gal meeting up an old college pal (guy). They’ve been in touch thr FB, occasional emails etc. There’s not much that would make them cross each others’ path i.e no same professions, no family ties and not even close friendship. Gal happens to be in town, calls up the guy. He comes, picks her up from her hotel and they go out for a coffee meet. She keeps her soon to be hubby informed about the meet.
Living in the western society but adhering to our desi cultural & social bounds and norms:
(i) how wrong or right she is to go out meet that guy … just the act itself of her meeting him?
(ii) What if her fiancé objects to the meet and she still goes ahead saying its just a simple platonic meet to catch up with an old pal and that’s just how she keeps in touch with her circle of friends. Is she right or wrong to override his objection?
Its just asking for trouble . Either don't inform your finance or don't go for this meeting . Now that poor fiance must be thinking thousand things . Yup a bad move by the girl .
Its just asking for trouble . Either don't inform your finance or don't go for this meeting . Now that poor fiance must be thinking thousand things . Yup a bad move by the girl .
This.
Relationships are delicate, handle them with care.
In the title you said " against fiance'" wish and in your post you say you kept him informed. If he's against you meeting up with other guys then why did you? Do you mind him seeing female friends?
Was there a relationship between guy friend and this girl ever? i mean would you go the extra mile just to meet an old friend whose become an fb aquaintance?
He comes, picks her up from her hotel
and that, in a desi context is totally off.
Besides, after pulling this move, she should realize that she cant ever ask her fiance to not meet any friends that she may not be comfortable with.
totally wrong. if you told him and he disapporoved and you still went, so wrong. And if you didnt tell him and went behind his back, more wrong. i think your relationship with him is more important than 'catching up with old friends'..that is exactly what FB is for.
I dont find anything wrong with you catching up with an old friend; only if there was no history between the gal & pal.
but if consider ghulami to be desi culture then its not true! what is so wrong with coffee with an old mate? ur fiance should've have an issue with this and if he does then he is wrong!
since he is mistaken here you need to stand firm on your ground and politely sort this out with him. guys dont usually have issues with old pals unless there is more to it and you shud get to the bottom of that.
I would listen to my fiance and probably avoid causing a conflict over this. In college years you make a lot of friends and some you stay in touch with while others go their own way and you go your own. I think I would listen to my fiance to see what his reason is and if I feel the reason is valid enough I would be fine with not meeting them.
Even if you listen to fiance this time and avoid meeting, this means you both think in totally different way. Girl think that there is no harm in having male friends and seems like fiance has a problem with that.
thats what I'm curious to know. Both from a guy's and a gal's POV. In the backdrop of our cultural bounds, morally speaking that act of an engaged girl going out with an old college male friend is correct or not. Or more broadly speaking, an engaged girl having so close (but platonic) contacts with her male friends.
And if her fiance' has issues with that, is he being too controlling, encroaching into her personal space?