So my friend found this guy on some match making app. They talked once on ohone that too just 1 min conversation & are talking to each other on whatsapp. According to her, they are not sharing much & the guy is telling her to meet up. She is kinda reserved & conservative person & don’t want to meet the guy just like that as she never met anyone alone like this before. She made excuses few times but the guy now is kinda getting irritated. On the other hand my friend wants to know him well & thinks its just been a week & he is moving quite fast & she is not liking it. What should she tell him to slow things down?
She says she will meet if she sees future with him but right now she doesn’t know him that well & kinda confused. She doesn’t want to rush into this. But she doesn’t know how to explain this to the guy without upsetting him. Do you guys think she should go & meet him? As it might be his way of getting to know her but she is bit hesitant in meeting him.
Do they live close to each other? If they live in the same town, then why not? Maybe she can take a friend or a relative with her if she does not feel comfortable. She is talking to him, so there is some compatability.
Ok him asking her to meet him does not mean he is inviting her to have sex with him. Expecting a meeting after few chats over whataspp and phone is a logical next step. Was she expecting that a guy will chat with her for few days and then send his parents over? Which protocol says that she has to chat for X number of weeks before meeting a person?
She should flat out tell the guy she's conservative and since she doesn't do this often she will need time. The guy is probably thinking she's playing hard to get or hiding something. Being conservative is a legitimate reason for her hesitation and the guy should know this aspect of her personality will effect their interactions. If he has bad intentions he'll know she's not the person who will allow anything and back off himself. She should also consider taking a friend along for a group date type thing. If the guy is a massive turn off in person it will only save her the effort she's going to put in one guy.
She can't take any of her friends as her friends are like her too. They no way gonna go with her to meet some random guy.
What she wants is get to knwo him more I guess as she says we only know basic info about each other as he is a doctor & don't have much time mostly to have long conversations.
I personally think he wants to meet her in person to know if he is actually talking to a girl or not as there are frauds on matchmaking apps too. I told her that but she is like what if I meet him & this doesn't work then I have to meet some other guy & then another & I cant do that going out meeting random strangers on daily basis.
if i am a guy and i am interested in someone, I would definitely get irritated if the next persons wants to keep the conversation just to whatsapp. I don't mind communicating over whatsapp, once i see you in real, you as a person, your body language, your personality. After that, I might be comfortable (and believing) that the person i am talking to is indeed a "real girl"
They shouldn’t be seen as ‘random strangers’ if it’s for marriage imo but having said that he should respect the fact that she’s conservative and give her a bit more time..
He doesn’t know if she’s a girl? Have they not spoken on the phone? If not I can understand him doubting but surely you’d talk on the phone before meeting anyway
Do you guys think she should go & meet him? As it might be his way of getting to know her but she is bit hesitant in meeting him.
So when does you friend think is a good time to meet him in person? After 2 weeks? After a month? 2 months?
Personally, I think she needs to go meet with him. It doesn't have to be anything inappropriate. They can agree to meet in a busy coffee shop or somewhere similar where there are tons of people around. And they should definitely meet during daytime. I don't blame the guy at all for wanting to meet the girl in person to make sure she is a real, and to make sure that there is physical attraction. What is the point of spending weeks/months "getting to know" someone only to meet in person and to find out that there is 0 attraction? How will your friend feel if she gets to know him, gets emotionally attached and then when they finally meet, he ends it b/c he doesn't think they "click" in person?
And your friend also needs to realize that finding the "right person" isn't easy. She doesn't need to go meet random guys on a daily basis. Once she meets someone online and after a few conversations, if the guy meets the basic requirements, she needs to meet in person to see if it's worth pursuing. And yes, this may require her to meet several guys over a period of time. Additionally, just like the guy, SHE also needs to make sure that guy is real (meaning it's not some 15-year old doing time pass or some creepy 50-year old).
** if i am a guy ** and i am interested in someone, I would definitely get irritated if the next persons wants to keep the conversation just to whatsapp. I don't mind communicating over whatsapp, once i see you in real, you as a person, your body language, your personality. After that, I might be comfortable (and believing) that the person i am talking to is indeed a "real girl"
She can't take any of her friends as her friends are like her too. They no way gonna go with her to meet some random guy.
What she wants is get to knwo him more I guess as she says we only know basic info about each other as he is a doctor & don't have much time mostly to have long conversations.
I personally think he wants to meet her in person to know if he is actually talking to a girl or not as there are frauds on matchmaking apps too. I told her that but she is like what if I meet him & this doesn't work then I have to meet some other guy & then another & I cant do that going out meeting random strangers on daily basis.
Can she try skype? But I still believe she should clarify her stance on blind dates. He should know the truth about why she seems flaky.
Now she broke this news to me that he is of Indian origin muslim & he is not sure if he would want to proceed this or what but then again she says he is a decent guy . She is kinda confused I think.
yeah exactly. She just want to give it more time I guess, once she is comfortable she might proceed perhaps.
She said they have spoken on phone once. But she told me today too that the guy asked her again to meet her on whatsapp.
Actually she went through a lot because of her family with rishta process hence she does have trust issues with family so thought to find on her own. She is not the type of girl to look for fun. She said that the guy recently moved from some other country & she doesn’t have a clue about him. She is bit hesitant in proceeding further though.
Actually she went through a lot because of her family with rishta process hence she does have trust issues with family so thought to find on her own. She is not the type of girl to look for fun. She said that the guy recently moved from some other country & she doesn't have a clue about him. She is bit hesitant in proceeding further though.
There are all kinds of people you need to watch out for. Not to discourage her from meeting someone, but her safety, values and comfort zone should not be compromised. Not even your husband, if he really respects you will pressurize you into anything, so watch out for that. Have her go out with him for coffee, in a public place, maybe have soup together or ice cream. Anything that would not take long but gives you a chance to have a little chat. They can both bring a friend and have them sit at another table. Keeps it halal and while keeping us safe. ;)
