So I’m back to the UK in 3 weeks. Permanently. Thank god. There’s q split of opinion here in relatives campus. some say its a good decision and some are just not. For eg a random woman told me to changemy mind how could I leave my old inlaws and Pakistan key halaat r stable host.( eh? R they)
Obviously il get this at me.however a lot of people are telln me to stay as Pakistan is better now. How exactly? Didn’t the worse terrorist attack happen just 3 months ago. Plus I’m.also getting a few bad dreams random nightmares recently is that a sign that.I shouldt go. Been put intoba turmoil again ans I’m.feeling sad at leaving the husband for the time.beingo.
Honestly Nadz, I don’t think anyone can answer that for you. Since you really want to go back to UK, I think go ahead and then see how you feel about the move. Only then, you would be able to make an informed decision. However I would suggest doing Istikhara, to guide you better.
If you and your husband have mutually decided on something, then that’s all that matters. Meddling relatives will always have an opinion; a few months from bow they’ll find some other aspect of your life to “haaw haaye” over. You can’t control them so you have the option of telling them to buzz off or you can politely listen and then ignore. Like they say “suno sab ki par karo apni.” Adjusting to a new environment is challenging enough…so why make it harder by dwelling on people’s opinions? Stick to the decision you and your husband made and work together towards that. Time will tell whether this decision was a sound one or not and it need not be a permanent one…changes/adjustments can be made.
No place is too safe. But pakistan was fine from what I experienced. People are and have become quite cautious with halat. Actually its amazing if you have alot of money to throw in shopping, dining and luxury.
You seem nervous and rather than convincing your relatives you need to convince yourself. Once you’re convinced then all other opinions will become meaningless. Life is full of uncertainty. All you can do is pray that you could find the best path for yourself.
Everyone is gonna have their own opinion. Just listen and ignore don’t get into an argument or confrontation. This is your decision, you know what is best for you and the kids. As for the old inlaws, you have a brother in law there, so they are not on their own..
You will obviously miss your husband but you need to stick this out, this is only the start, you have only been here 3 weeks n it’s gonna b a long process to get your husband here, as everyone has already warned you about. Just be patient.
tbh it’s all up to you. At the end of the day it’s for your safety and future. People are going to meddle no matter what. Go with your instincts and if it’s a yes, then do it. You always have the option of moving back no? It’s better to have tried things than to regret it later and thinking “oh man i should’ve moved when i had the chance” etc if such a horrific event happens again god forbid.
Let the relatives say whatever they want. If they’re talking to you directly, either change the topic or if possible, make an excuse, get up and walk away. Their opinions are worthless in this situation. They did not live YOUR life in Pakistani. They did not live in that house with you MIL. And next time they mention Pakistani being stable…ask them why THEY aren’t moving back if life is so great there.
You and your husband made this decision as a couple for your children. Your relatives have 0 responsibility when it comes to your kids. They’re not thinking about your kids safety, future etc. when making these comments. Its natural to feel sad because you’re away from your husband but remember this separation is not permanent. Stay strong and don’t allow others to put doubts in your mind about something that both you AND your husband decided jointly.
Yeh I know. It’s calling him over that’s hardest. I know some whose takeb 6 months and some who have taken years. It’s scary.and I need to convince myself but its not as strong as I am trying to be.
try to focus on the longer term goals of your move rather than the short-term pain.
and yes, years do not sound like “short term” but in the grand scheme of things, they are.
Look, folks. EVERYONE has an opinion. People think. They observe things and they form opinions, based on their own biases, experiences, etc etc. They are entitled to their opinions. You are entitled to agree or disagree, listen or engage or argue or ignore. Frankly, I think you should just ignore in this case.
But you need to take ownership of your life and your decisions. There is not one right way to live. There is nothing mystical about the choices you make. There is not some mysterious right path you need to uncover. There are just the decisions you make based on your best reasoning and the resulting consequences. That is life. You make a choice, you live your life, you deal with the consequences, make the best of whatever situation you are in, and make another choice. Live in the present, rather than obsessively but unproductively debating the past and the future.
Probably the relatives are jealous because they don’t have the chance to go themselves. You do the best thing that you have thought for your family. Everyone has their own opinion, but in my opinion halalt will get worse with now ISIS showing interest in the Pakistan Afghanistan region. There is no place called Utopia on this earth, but you make your own Utopia based on your preferences. I am myself going to visit my family IA in London next month after a long time.
It actually is. If you read the ISIS magazine Dabiq (available on the internet through legit sources) they speak of Afghanistan and Pakistan as the Khorasan region as they don’t believe of man made country borders. They don’t really like Mullah Umar’s (Afghan Taliban’s leader who may be dead or alive) philosophy as he is believed to be too soft towards disbelievers among other things and have recently welcomed some of the Pakistan Taliban’s bayah (allegiance) to the ISIS.
dream are not a sign, just your subconscious so I wouldn’t put much weight on them. The thing you need to do is to go back to the time and remember why you decided to move in the first place … to keep your family safe, opportunities etc. IMO you made the right choice. And leaving Pakistan for a better future for your children does not mean you have to cut off ties with your relatives/inlaws back in the country. You can still stay in touch or move back if you want if the conditions got better