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Is it fair to measure another person’s love based on how we ourselves love? In other words, if you think calling the other person, sending gifts, remembering how they like their tea, remembering anniversaries and all that jazz, shows how well a person loves another, is it fair to expect the SAME actions back from them to prove to them that they are loved just as much?
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Do two people have to love each other exactly the same amount for the love to be fair?
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
No and No.
Although, effort does go a long way.
Love can not really be quantified thus making your points devoid (my point).
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
1.NO
2.NO
what is ‘fair love’ waisay?? 
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
Well, number 1 answers itself doesn't it? If you think that all those actions show how much you love someone and you practice it, then the only way you will believe someone loves you is if they do the same.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
Good question (s).
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
^^^^this, exactly! 
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
No and No. Although, effort does go a long way.
Love can not really be quantified thus making your points devoid (my point).
EXACTLY! If no two people are the same, how can they love or express their love in the same way?
Well, number 1 answers itself doesn't it? If you think that all those actions show how much you love someone and you practice it, then the only way you will believe someone loves you is if they do the same.
But that's the problem. Sometimes people are so consumed by the Bollywood/Hollywood version of love that they expect love to be about symbols more than sentiment. They internalize those symbols and expect the other person to reciprocate in kind.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
But that's the problem. Sometimes people are so consumed by the Bollywood/Hollywood version of love that they expect love to be about symbols more than sentiment. They internalize those symbols and expect the other person to reciprocate in kind.
Well, symbols are important. May be not every single one but remembering a birthday or anniversary are important. What you expect out of the celebration of those days is a diff story. If think that your husband/wife only loves you if they prepare a candle light dinner and shower you with lavish gifts on every one of these occassions then you are entering into dangeous territory. On the other hand, if your partner shows no interest whatsoever in an anniversary/birthday celebration and never remembers it, would you be hurt even if you didnt care about symbols, I think so.
A girl like me, I appreciate a nice, funny greeting card. Now if someone can't even pull that off then I don't know about that! LOL
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
How can we measure love at first place ?Is there any tool available?
i mean i dont think we can measure love, emotions, sentiments etc because they are untangible. All we do is andaaza lagaying of others love that this person loves us this much & this person loves us that much.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
no and no. everyone has a different concept of love and what counts as something 'small' in gestures for someone, can be something massive for another. it's all about how much you value things, possibly making it hard to see 'equal amount of love' in each others eyes.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
You should not expect anything in return when giving your love.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
I guess the question is should you express your love for the one you care for in a manner that you understand as loving or in the manner they understand as loving?
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
No & No.
Good questions :k:.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
I think it should be a mix of both. Not entirely either of the two because 1) You want it to be natural 2) It doesnt hurt to make some changes in yourself/your behavior in order to make someone happy as long as they don’t go against your values/beliefs.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
One cannot quantify love, but i DO expect to get some "positive response" irrespective of the fact that Expectations Hurt!!
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
When you expect the same actions back, and when those expectations aren't meant, that's when things started getting bad between a couple.
Not exactly same, but both should be sure of their love for each other.
Re: Measuring love and expecting equal love in return
I would say No to both of your questions. However, I am a BIG believer of EFFORT. I make effort in everything including work, friendships, love etc. I don't measure anyone's love but overtime, when i look back, most of the people who are still with me over years and years are those who have made consistent effort. Rest are not a part of my life anymore. I never expected or asked someone for anything but i think unconsciously, I have naturally leaned towards people who kept reassuring me of their love for me during my downs and those who have genuinely shown happiness with my success.
Love is all about actions and effort to me. I am not a believer of just saying i love you to please the other person.
lol, it is so easy to love and tell someone you love them..yet we dont do it. It always amazes me.