**
Arranged marriage has been predominant way of arranging matches since centuries especially in our society.
It seemed to work for generations and no matter what anyone argued against it , bottom line was marriages succeeded and were in fact happy and fulfillling up until even our parents generation.
So what went wrong ??
Why are Divorce Rates soaring sky high in the very same society ?
I feel its because of unrealistic expectations that we have set for ourselves and partners and the fact that pre-defined century old gender roles of , The Man being the Bread-winner & Provider and the Woman being the Home-maker and Nurturer have blurred and over-lapped.
Why is marriage not as successful as it was a generation ago…eyeballing divorce stats alone !
Arranged Marriage ..IS a concept of ISLAM .. not just cos its in our society ..infact its in alot of societies .. even hindu.. the iranians ..Iraqi ..esp the arab world ..did have it .. for 1400 years ..
now who to blame ... i would in my view blame the muslims themselves .. for not follwing what Islam says and how to go about it .. you may say that .. lets say in our society .. the elders didnt know much about islam or wernt well informed etc .. but with previous generations .. they followed ''in the name of ISLAM'' i.e. if they were told or passed down to them generation by generation that 'A+B+C etc etc are from Islam ..they followed it whole heartedly ... and didnt question it ..now what seems to be the problem is that ..Muslims have so gone deep into the western society ..when there is something about islam ..the muslims ''compare' it with the society .. i.e. Islam to them isnt valued as it used to be and not realising that this is the religion we follow hence we are muslims .. yet they '''doubt''' it ....
and in terms of divorce rate .. it isnt just the muslims or in our society .. its also the west who are affected ... and again the blame falls upon the ppl it self .. because .. veryone has '''forgotten'' their CORE values ...which were to be civilized ppl ...and when prostitution .. pornography .. and all the other evils that affect are a married life have come about ..and action isnt being taken to stop prostitution ..rather .. its allowed in society .. i.e. here in UK esp in liverpool as per my info maybe wrong .. porn ..in society ..isnt looked down on but rather its everywhere .. net...magazines etc etc ..
so when these things affect and are all around a person .. where steps arnt taken to prevent these evils .. ofcorse things are gona take a wrong turn ...
The inability to compromise. I know a good many men and women who are divorced in Pakistan and they are themselves to blame. They don't understand the institution of marriage. They watch too much Bollywood and they don't have the maturity needed to be married. Its simply the fact that we are "independent individuals" and that our needs and priorities come first. The successful marriages I have seen are where the ego is second to the needs of the loved one.
I think people are less realistic about marriage now than many years back, they want a fairytale wedding and a happy ever after sort of life rather than actually working at the marriage. I think also that divorce is less of a taboo than it used to be and so people turn to it rather than trying to work out issues/problems etc.
people don't really care anymore what society thinks maybe, if there's abuse then people are less likely to tolerate it or just take it.
the divorces for reasons that are tiny don't make sense to me, I was always a strong supporter of putting all efforts into making a marriage work, even a situation of adultery by one spouse can be overlooked if everything else in a marriage is wonderful. yep i ain't much for divorce, but when there's any kind of pain involved where one spouse is acting like stalin and controlling everything, not doing anything positive to make the relationship improve and abusing in every way, that marriage is dead no matter how hard the other spouse tries to make it work, in such extreme cases divorce would be a blessing.
we have forgotten the basics with many advancements. theres no care and no place for any1. as long as we keep clinging to our ethics knowing that prosperity comes with values not money we will save ourselves from all kinds of panics or menace one of which is divorce,
but as soon as we forget to tolerate care and appreciate we would suffer ourselves making others suffer as well
we have forgotten the basics with many advancements. theres no care and no place for any1. as long as we keep clinging to our ethics knowing that prosperity comes with values not money we will save ourselves from all kinds of panics or menace one of which is divorce,
but as soon as we forget to tolerate care and appreciate we would suffer ourselves making others suffer as well
tolerate anything including all kinds of abuse? the previous generations had no choice but to tolerate anything that comes their way b/c they had no choice, is that why women like benazir bhutto stayed in an abusive marriage, that one always baffled me, she was such a powerful woman and yet at home she lived with violence and tolerated it.
tolerate anything including all kinds of abuse? the previous generations had no choice but to tolerate anything that comes their way b/c they had no choice, is that why women like** benazir bhutto stayed in an abusive marriage**, that one always baffled me, she was such a powerful woman and yet at home she lived with violence and tolerated it.
(was never her fan)
where did you get that?? you keep mentioning it everywhere....the guy lived in Jail 11 years when she was away enjoying life......i never heard she was in an abusive marriage..
:D ..i think the abuse part was just a comment by a random reader...nothing authentic....i read the article and didn't find anything being said about the 'abuse'...
she didn't get abused by her husband.....so be happy :D
:D ..i think the abuse part was just a comment by a random reader...nothing authentic....i read the article and didn't find anything being said about the 'abuse'...
she didn't get abused by her husband.....so be happy :D
oh man then you really need to read a bit carefully b/c the writer did say that he/she had found out from a reliable source that that was the case. ' frequently beat her, bruised face and black eye' do constitute abuse even if the word itself isn't there. it said benazir loved him nonetheless.
anyways get back to the topic of the thread.
where did you get that?? you keep mentioning it everywhere....the guy lived in Jail 11 years when she was away enjoying life......i never heard she was in an abusive marriage..
Being married to that namoona was abuse enough......she did not need to see it too !***
I think the majority of women used to depend on their husbands both financially and socially some years back so whenever an argument arose they would try their best to come to a mutual understanding or would just give in and compromise and the marriage would not break. There can be many other reasons but this one has its place too.
