You may remember me from my last post regarding “confusion”…things have changed…I receive a call from friend earlier this morning saying his mum had died last night…he was so upset…and such a shock…I feel for him and his family so much as nobody should have to go through such pain…although I did not know his mum…i’ve shed tears as I suppose he’s hurting makes me hurt (if u understand)…anway…what do you say to people…I never know what to say…just “I’m sorry to hear that…may god be with u at such a sad time” …just wondered…anyone know of anything from the quran I could email him to help him get through this difficult time?
I can't see him as he has gone straight to Pakistan...I will email him after his mourning period....but can you tell me how long the mourning period is in Pakistan? He needs to be with family and mourn with them....just hope he is ok
Can you give us a bit more information as to what part of Pakistan he hails from? I am asking because it varies from place to place, and there's many factors at play here.
Can you give us a bit more information as to what part of Pakistan he hails from? I am asking because it varies from place to place, and there's many factors at play here.
I would say for the first 3-4 days he would be super busy, with people flocking in to offer condolences. In Rawalpindi, the tradition is that the guests do not stay over and leave before food is served at the place where the condolences are offered, so in about 5-6 days you should try and give him a call. They will still carry on some rituals, even after a few weeks but that is mostly recitations of the Holy Quran by some students of religious studies. People normally do not watch television, and stay away from music, social activities, and wedding functions in the first few weeks. Most families observe the first religious holiday of Eid (which is fast approaching) with a very low zeal and not in a joyous festive like they would normally do.
thanks spock....really feel for him...he must be soooooooooooo upset...just hope he will be ok....so 3 days mourning in rawalpindi? but busy for few weeks after? Am I right now!?
Just try to be yourself... the point of giving condolences isn't to say something overly emotional so your friend will cry. But don't just say "Oh, sorry about your mom's death." Let them know that you're there for them if they want to talk about their parent or if they want to take things off their mind.
I usually tell people that whatever happens is from Allah, it was their time to go. To remember them in a good way. If the relative was sick for a long time, I say that at least the person is not in any pain anymore and will be granted a place in Paradise inshAllah.
CW, please be sincere if you are who you say you are. And that is an open clue to you to come clean...or go away.
Come back as a shiny penny if you like..... ;)
Let him go through this hard time without using your emotions in to it and without taking advantage of this man's one of the most terrible life experiences.
Try to not use Quran in to this matter for your desires.
Shame on you** if** you do not believe Quran and trying to use it to gain his love and a means to get a leverage in to the relationship.........
CW, please be sincere if you are who you say you are. And that is an open clue to you to come clean...or go away.
Come back as a shiny penny if you like..... ;)
Let him go through this hard time without using your emotions in to it and without taking advantage of this man's one of the most terrible life experiences.
Try to not use Quran in to this matter for your desires.
Shame on you** if** you do not believe Quran and trying to use it to gain his love and a means to get a leverage in to the relationship.........
Wow people think really bad of me for some reason :-( Of course I beleive what the quran is saying.....I was just wondering if there would be areas of it which could offer him guidance through such a hard time...for my desire? NO WAY! ............sorry...who is CW?
Pray for his mom, read Quran, and make dua for him. That is the best thing you can do for him if you don't have much of a way to be there with him in person. Allah knows your intentions so don't let anyone confuse you about your intentions.