Maybe it's just me

TLK · March 25, 2011, 9:51pm

Re: Maybe it’s just me

But I’ve noticed that girls in an arranged marriage tend to treat their fiances as a boyfriend, if they happen to be one of the lucky few that can meet their to-be husbands before marriage. If they don’t, then the first month or two of marriage, the husband is treated like a boyfriend. Now, this is completely my opinion, but I think it’s because of this attitude, that a whole bunch of problems that we all tend to hear in Life1 and Wedding forum arise. Fiance and husband aren’t boyfriend. They’re termed differently for a reason.

Maybe it’s because they haven’t had proper contact with the opposite sex, they tend to just go all out when they do get engaged, and try to fulfill that fantasy that they’ve had, not realizing that where in a bf-gf relationship where some things are ignorable, they aren’t in a fiance/husband relationship. Where because of a certain situation it’s alright to break up with the bf, it isn’t in a fiance/husband relationship, and so a lot of things might be said or done which can completely mess up the future.

:tamatar:

well said Murgi.

Though I like to belive that reason is not because they haven’t had proper contact with the opposite sex as that could be true for the guy too but you dont see many guys treating their wives as a GF more than newly wed wives treating their hubbies as a BF.

zobia · March 25, 2011, 9:54pm

Re: Maybe it's just me

yep, its just you
cuz I not engaged
and if i were engaged
then i wouldn't be here
replying to you

Sara516 · April 1, 2013, 12:55am

Re: Maybe it's just me

This was a good thread.

I miss Murgi :(

and now that I re-read it (and re-commented), my question is....how do you act with a bf that you couldn't with a husband? and vie versa?

icicle1 · April 1, 2013, 3:04am

Re: Maybe it's just me

thats too much to ask for?

icicle1 · April 1, 2013, 3:08am

Re: Maybe it's just me

lol so i guess this thread was started by a grl who has experienced many boyfrnds and knows how to behave with a boyfrnd vs. a husband???

each relationship's different. its easy to point fingers at married ppl's problems and say oh i wouldnt have these issues if it were me...a lot of the issues may be self inflicted but it always takes two to tango (sometimes three as MIL is a big part of the relationship). so please dont say because these silly grls are looking for a boyfrnd in their fiance/husband, they're leading themselves into issues.

Scherbatsky · April 1, 2013, 11:43pm

Re: Maybe it's just me

Agreed, great thread, even if half the posters are now banned. Most of the older threads being revived have a striking difference in terms of quality posts. Anyhow, I digress...

Murgi and Nomica have a point. Some girls in our community try to overcompensate for missing out on their teen flings by acting like that with their husbands. But mind you, even some experienced grown and mature women and men act like kids when they are in the peak infatuation phase of their relationship. Tee hee and all. Difference is some overcome it and snap back to reality with easier transition and some others have a relationship dynamic that doesn't survive in the real world.

p.s. is it just me or I fail to understand the difference between a boyfriend/fiancé/husband? It's your other half either way (taking the marriage sanctity and religion aside). But the behaviour and treatment should be the same, no??

majesty · April 3, 2013, 1:54am

Re: Maybe it’s just me