**Simple rule,"Why call anyone a sister when you have your own?"
What if poor guy doesn't have a sister........and wants to befriend other sistahs out there. LOL, just kidding:)
**
Re: May be I will never understand…
I know this one kid who moved here from Pakistan 5 years ago to live with his taaya and his family because his own father died and his mother has no education or job to support him so she sent him here. He called his taaya’s daughter baji (both of them were older than him.) There were some problems with his papers or something and he needed to get married asap otherwise he would be sent back. His taaya insisted he marry the taaya’s 24 year old daughter (the boy himself was only 18.) After alot of resistance, he finally ended up married to that baji of his. They literally lived 5 years of their lives together as bro-sis, and now they’re happily (hopefully) married with a newborn baby.
I find it really strange and he did too initially… I just could never ever imagine marrying someone I grew up with playing with as a sister… they actually lived together as siblings! 
It's not just restricted to cousins and families.
I used to volunteer at a Islamic supplementory school and everyone there would refer to each other as 'brother' or 'sister' ( I know its different as it was obviously out of respect)
I would always say, 'I'm sorry but my name is not sister, its Milly.'
Anyway, one Saturday, Sister Jabeen (not real name) told me she found brother Jamal (not real name) attractive and was wondering how she would go about telling him.
I just found it slightly strange. I dont call anyone but my brother, brother. Even then I dont, hes younger, I refer to him as 'oi'
its bit grey area, but i have seen people fancy each other while calling sister and brother in such islamic scenarios. what i notice some start calling /addressing each other like in full ie "Sister in Islam" and "Brother in Islam" making sure they are not calling them just sister and brother.... :)
for cousins, I say it depends what kind of feeling one have towards specific cousins. while calling me "bhai" two of my cousins wanted to get married to me, and one of them had a short affair with me.
Re: May be I will never understand...
the brother and sister thing is not just in Islam. I know all Black people also refer to others as brother and sister - with style!
Re: May be I will never understand...
^ yea i guess, thats between brov to brov and sista to sista not across!
Re: May be I will never understand…
- its just possibly a culture thing ..
- Its as someone above mentioned .. just merely out of Respect .. (lets say someone calling someone else in a gathering or anywhere as sister or brother ISN’T “Technically” gonna make em their bruv or sis ..is it .. ??)
and taking the above two things in consideration .. things can work out .. IF only u previously called someone a brother or sister because of Respect and culture.
Re: May be I will never understand...
^ lol
- out of respect is something to ponder upon!
If I had a crush on some guy - and he out of respect called me sista - I would die of shame. I would not think about him being respectful n' all that! :( It would definitely crush my ego.
Do you think I would go up to him, and ask him clarify his sista definition to me? naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Re: May be I will never understand...
heres the thing .. why would someone .. being a muslim .. have a crush in the first place ..just a thought
Re: May be I will never understand...
^ what does being Muslim have to do with it?
I am married and my hubby knows I have my latest crush on Shiney Ahuja - the bolly actor!!!!!!
That does not mean I am all out to join him in any ways. It's just a fantasy.
Oh and my hubby has a crush on ALL the girls in the world. We do have a healthy relationship though. LOL
It's not just restricted to cousins and families.
I used to volunteer at a Islamic supplementory school and everyone there would refer to each other as 'brother' or 'sister' ( I know its different as it was obviously out of respect)
I would always say, 'I'm sorry but my name is not sister, its Milly.'
Anyway, one Saturday, Sister Jabeen (not real name) told me she found brother Jamal (not real name) attractive and was wondering how she would go about telling him.
I just found it slightly strange. I dont call anyone but my brother, brother. Even then I dont, hes younger, I refer to him as 'oi'
MOG, that sounds just like my university!!! How we used to laugh at those very thinly veiled brother / sister relationships!
Re: May be I will never understand...
the appropriate way of making up any relation is to b bhai n behan. later "main nay koi theka tu nahi liya hua saari duniya koo behan bananay ka........."
MOG, that sounds just like my university!!! How we used to laugh at those very thinly veiled brother / sister relationships!
It's all good though, cos Sister Jabeen wears the hijab and Brother Jamal has a beard. It's all halal!
Ouch, im going to pay for this one aren't I! :D
Re: May be I will never understand...
To tease the person who was dying to marry me I use to call him bhai.
He was like don't call me bhai.
Re: May be I will never understand...
^that is sooooo mean.
If you did not like him, then leave him alone... but that's just very mean
Re: May be I will never understand...
I dont agree, if he knew you were not interested, then why even bother being called a brother...:(
how a person who has been calling his / her cousin with names like "Bhai" (brother) "Baji" "Behen" (sister) suddenly transforms his / her mind and heart for a love quite different in nature when his /her parents initiate to get him / her engaged with the same person of opposite gender whom previously he / she treated like his / her siblings.
I would call my husband 'bhai' out of politeness before marriage.
In our family, we try not to call anyone by name e.g. I call my elder sister-in-law 'baji' even though we are close in age but she is older than me. I think that it is good manners.
Re: May be I will never understand...
I think there is no problem in calling anyone bhai / baji out of respect or to be on the safer side (so that in daily life any stranger might not misunderstand your politeness as an "indication" or "initiative" of a romance)
I am also not against marriages between cousins because that is allowed in Islam. The only thing I don't understand is when a person spends his whole childhood with a cousin treating her like his own sister and openly claiming so, suddenly changes his mind and feelings when the topic of marriage is brought. If he had not spent so much of time together with her treating her like his sister, behaving in the same way he behaved with his own sister, and telling people that there is no difference between her and his sister....etc. In that case the point of accepting marriage was understandable and made sense.
Re: May be I will never understand...
When we use these endearing terms to address others , we are being respectful however it doesnt make them our real brother or sister ... like we say brother in islam or sister in islam... but a nikah between two individuals changes the actual relationship.
however because our culture allows too much of mixing between cousins therefore in most cases one turns to feel , he/she is like my brother/sister .. in which case I think parents shouldnt force the relationship on the kids , and should understand the child's mindset ...
some words just have a more universal meaning , for example "man" - we refer to al humans as man eg: man is a social animal .. that doesnt mean its excluded the female gender ! similarly brother or sister are just universally known words to address someone with through respect instead of calling someone dude or mate etc ...
It's all good though, cos Sister Jabeen wears the hijab and Brother Jamal has a beard. It's all halal!
Ouch, im going to pay for this one aren't I! :D
And thats the worst thing, if u wore hijab, then trust me, u would be singled out and targeted by the bearded "brother" who would want u for his bride.