Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

These are Matrimonial ADS of Men taken from http://www.shaadi.com
These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this :clown:

- Hello To Viewvers My Name is Shiva , I am single i dont have female, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my heart... when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shiva ~*~ 
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i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?) 
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Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you
(The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
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She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. She should be educated. 
(ain't it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!! 
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
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i am simple boy.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking onegirl she caremeandloveme lot lot lot 
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)
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My wife should be as 'Parvati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi as in KSBKBT......
(Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much, ain't he?) 
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i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast 
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)
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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD. 
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION 
AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE 
THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})
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whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone wife and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this she would be called the woman of the lamp 
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants) 
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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok 
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome") 
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HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK 
(the "ok syndrome" again)
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iam pranav my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother sister complity marred 
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely'?) 
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iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent. 
i am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
(actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??) 
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my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes 
(height of desperation! J )
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Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. She love me heartly or she havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but iam not a handsome boy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good boy. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye.
(uttama purish)
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I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT. 
(maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)
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hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted .. 
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
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my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
(Zebra..???)
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to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable 
(this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bridegroom. I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.) 
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i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani.
(Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

:rotfl:

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

:rotfl:

Funniest thing I’ve read in Jokes forum.

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

:) very funny.

btw, what u were doing at shadi.com!!!

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

I hope the authors don't mind if i use one of these as my own shadi ad. These are very interesting indeed. :D

Sincerely,
Captain Lota

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

:rotfl:

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
(Zebra..???)
:rotfl: :rotfl:

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

lol their hilarious, i dont think id marry any1 with an introducion like that

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

:rotfl:
:rotfl:
:rotfl:

Make this a sticky… this is top 10 material…
your comments in parenthesis are hilarious tooo

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

this should be separate section! is this reaal or you made it up?

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

ufff allah jeee… these are just hilarious :rotfl:

my stomach is hurting from laughing so hard … :rotfl:

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation! J )

^^ this is my fav.

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

punjabi bhai, I don’t know how I am controlling my laugh at work; while, my boss sitting beside me.

Damn you, I can’t even keep a straight face :rotfl:

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

LOLLLLLL - damn!!! oh man my stomach hurtsssssss
I AM "LOUGHINGGGGGG"""

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

I actually had to stop in between and read the rest after a break because i just couldn't stop laughing, shared it with my workmates and people were loughing for long long time.

Thanx 5abi, your comments are hilarious.

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

"Hello To Viewvers My Name is Shiva , I am single i dont have female"

Thats my nick for today!

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

Some more ads:

Name: makhan s dayal
Profile: i am a good persion & hard working man i looking a good frind in life so with enjoy a life she like me i like she so all whole life we enjoy togather.
**Desired profile of spouse: **i am a frindly persion i like also good frind

(why is Mr MAKHAN calling himself persian, ashamed of being indian?????)

**Name**: Jeet garewal
**Profile**:hai i am jeet grewal finding a gal that first live with me as a friend then beloved. & share me. understand value of family.
**Desired profile of spouse: **i finding a gal that should be fair, honest.

(Inspired by Salam Namaste????        AND SHARE HIM???? what a bold guy, making his intentions clear:) ).

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone wife and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this she would be called the woman of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)

This one made me lough i mean laugh...what da hell was he thinking and what on earth does he mean ...does he want his wife to switch on and of as and when he feels like it ....does anyone have any ideas

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

Rofl

Re: Matrimonial Ads: shaadi.com

i chud read these over and over again an dstill not get bored :P