Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
do first time fathers feel maternal -like at all?
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
^^ what exactly is maternal ?
... a guy cant compare feelings if he cannot quantify them
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
i realize that of course, an able bodied boy or man who fathers a child, is not able to breast feed.
maternal is extreme care and alertness. and also, maternal is wanting to hold the baby and be close to the baby above all else. being up at night and helping comfort the baby, in case the baby cries.
TLK, is this quantity enough?
best,
Dushwari
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
i realize that of course, an able bodied boy or man who fathers a child, is not able to breast feed.
maternal is extreme care and alertness. and also, maternal is wanting to hold the baby and be close to the baby above all else. being up at night and helping comfort the baby, in case the baby cries. TLK, is this quantity enough?
best, Dushwari
Dush, I have done all the above regularly and, in fact, more than my wife did. However, probably I would have done it for any child in need, not necessarily only for my own kids.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
Dushwari, I think to certain extent, a guy can do that ... but I want to be honest ... over the period of time, I noticed that the instinct that my wife has for the kids ... she can sense things that I cant.
Maybe, its because she assumed that role .. .and I have a different role .. so she is well tuned into her maternal behavior.
Without disrespecting what she does for the kids, I think that if a guy is given that role because of any unfortunate reason (like divorce or death of mother) ... he can do a pretty good job.
He may not be able to replace mother, but can come close to that .. if that unfortunate situation happens.
I am saying unfortunate , cause under a normal circumstances, I dont wish upon a guy to act like a mother ...
That is something Allah wants a female to be ...
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
my maternal instincts didnt kick in immediately. it took me a few days after delivery to believe and digest the fact that this little human being was mine to care and be responsible for.
all the emotions are kinda overwhelming.
too happy to have someone to call ur own.
too anxious abt what kinda person i'm gonna raise him to be, i suddenly felt so responsible.
i guess both maternal and paternal instincts are similar in nature. approach differs from person to person. i've seen some dads who are more soft and loving to their kids than the moms. and vice versa. wateva rocks da boat i guess.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
and at that time, I gained a new respect for my wife .. that she carried my bundle of joy inside her .. for 9 months .. and went through no-caffine, no sugar diet for 9 months ...
Amazing task .. my hats off for all moms ...
wow. i'm tearing up at that!
any mom's here have any experience with post-partum depression? how do you reconcile those feelings with the feeling of love you feel for your baby, or do you not connect with your child at all if you have pp depression?
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
As fas as fathers being connected with the new born, let me tell you
while my husband was holding our new born, I asked him to get me
some water and he asked me to wait a min. The truth is he was too busy admiring our little baby girl.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
first time moms, how does it feel when an infant or a baby is being cared for, by you?
Very very tiring but very intersting and joyful at the same time.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
Fathers cannont replace mothers role ... thus cannot replace her place in child's life ...
But one thing I can tell you. Fathers are as crazy about their kids as mothers can get . Mothers have more sensible approach towards upbringing, while fathers are theri to spoil the kids with their love. I know that sounds weird but really ... a kid gets a balanced, secured upbriniging if he/she gets both extremes with justified ratio.
...
A muslim scholar said, children learn untidyness from their father and anger from their mother. I think its true.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
anger from their mother?? thats a bit harsh.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
how do you feel when you have to change diapers? lol
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
lolz 
…out of this world, above the skies…
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
only sort of? i want some more dad's to speak up in here... sometimes i feel do they even really connect because for 9 months, mom's are growing babies inside them- how can you not develop a bond, right? but for dad's, its just observing and feeling the occasional kick and putting together nursery furniture. how do they feel when the doc pulls the little one out and hands it to them?
While holding my baby for the first time, I was still concerned about my wife. But it was absolutely amazing because I was not mentally prepared to see a beautiful thing so small and perfect. I had some pictures of his first day holding my thumb and his hand looked minuscule compared to my fingers. For me, though I loved the sight of my own baby but the connection did not form instantly, though it formed quickly. As we were living alone in a foreign land, I let my wife complete rest for the first few weeks. By the time, we went home to our families and parents, I had become so attached to the baby and gotten so involved with the baby affairs that I got weird looks and comments about how it is not the fathers job to do all that stuff, et all.
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
A muslim scholar said, children learn untidyness from their father and anger from their mother. I think its true.
a very pessimist muslim scholar .. I must say ... :D
Every morning, my wife is clearing up after me , tidying up the mess I created beofre leaving for work .. and while doing that ... uttering angry and harsh words for mua'
that must be the time my kids are learnig of my untidyness and her anger ...
a magic moment in kids upbringing
Re: Maternal Instinct: how does it feel?
^ 