Materal words of wisdom

Demilitarize · December 13, 2011, 4:03pm

Re: Materal words of wisdom

I love your answers.

RESPECT.

This quote was lifted from my post in Marriage Stories..and yes, it is verbatim the words that were spoken by my late mother, because I wrote everything down in my journals, which I still keep to this day…

there is always a choice…you can either moan and groan and get your panties in a wad everytime your SIL, MIL,FIL looks at you crooked, OR you can live your life happily with your spouse and build your family. This quote was taken from my post, and this is just a small example of the wisdom I was brought up with. I am living proof that if you adopt these ideals in your married life, you will have a succesful marriage, inshallah…here are just a few tidbits of the crap that i have put up with from my in-laws, and Alhamdullilah, i have NEVER let them effect my marriage;

while going through my bouts of infertility/ivf, caught a taped conversation of my MIL complaining to my nand on how I was damaged goods, ruined her son’s life and was dumped by a former fiancee because he found out I was infertile and couldn’t have kids (totally not true, had never been engaged before and basically she was accusing me of sleeping around)

once had a bag of besan thrown at me by my MIL, because I did not know that memon/kachi people eat dahi ki karri on kichri..I’m hyderabadi, our version of kichri is completely different, and we definitely do not eat it with karri, so I did not have any besan in the house for her to cook with

my in-laws didn’t even come to my mother’s namaz e janaza because my BIL was busy at this store (which was 5 miles away from the masjid, and it was on Jummah)

i was on complete and total bedrest with my second pregnancy (twins), and my oldest was only 18 months old at the time..my MIL decided to leave and go back to KHI, 5 DAYS before I went into premature labor, knowing full well that I could deliver at any given moment…

I can go on and on with volumes of such instances, and many more serious ones that have happened, but aside from this post…you will NEVER see me complain about my inlaws in Life1 threads or moan and groan about mistreatment, because I live by the advice given to by mom because it’s true…I married by choice, knew full well that I would be entering a family that was not accepting of me, and that my husband was not the type to pick fights with his mother.
So I chose to suck it up, and live my life the way parents taught me…in one ear and out the other…with dignity and respect. And it must be working, because in the 13 years I’ve been married, I’ve never once left my home or husband to go back to Ammi’s house, nor have I EVER shouted, cursed, abused or neglected my MIL. She is what she is…an elderly, widowed
uneducated (she cannot read or write) women who is just bitter about everything. She treats all three of her DIL’s the same. Unsay kya muqabla karoongi may? Kya faida? Apni hi dimaag gharab hoga.

I am not trying to sound like a saint here, I am human and I do have feelings and they do get hurt. I may vent my frustrations every now and do then, but I do not let them overshadow my life.