What colours could you guys recommend for the bride’s friends and cousins to wear on the Bride’s mendhi day? The colour/ style is optional for the Shaadi and Valima.
Mendhi dress colour for the bride will be pink, orange and lilac colours. I was earlier thinking bottle-green, lilac or yellow for the girls.
Also has anyone done this dress-colour code theme before? Would you find it a hassle/ or be annoyed to be asked to wear a certain colour or would you be happy to join in? I hope it works and everyone co-operates - but I am just worried what colours to choose and if everyone will like it - as it is tough deciding on one colour - and I do understand it’s not as easy finding dresses in UK as it would be in Pakistan. Also one cousin has refused to wear lilac (I initially choose lilac as the Bride has lilac colours in her Mendhi dress) saying the colour doesn’t suit her - so I had to rule out lilac; and then another cousin refused to wear matching saying she wants her own individual identity on that day and another said she can’t wear bottle-green as she is wearing that colour on the Shaadi - I mean do I have to go round and ask everyone’s approval and dress colours??? It feels like it.
Its just so upsetting that the people you thought were close to you, call you their ‘sister’ and most importantly are family don’t want to take part and share in your happiness and are becoming so fussy regarding something small as dress colours!
What do you guys think I should do? I don’t want to scrape the idea as all our friends are up for doing it - its just cousins are being fussy on the colours. I am thinking just to set one colour for the Mendhi and whoever wants to share in the happiness and fun can do it.
Hmm. We did the matching thing last year for my bro's wedding, basically all the sisters and his cousins wore purple, but it ended up being a hassle cos too many people wanted to join in. It's only nice when there's not too many people wearing it, cos otherwise people feel restricted by what they want to wear.
Why don't you tell the friends to wear one colour and cousins to wear another colour which goes together?
It's easier to leave it open to whoever wants to join in, if they do, let them sort it out themselves, if not, they can wear whether they want
^ Thank you. :) Well that's nice that everyone made the effort to join in and wear purple - and I am impressed more people wanted to join in! I want that to happen on my side too! Lol.
Actually the prob' is is that all our friends are ready to wear ANY colour - I mean that's how amazing and co-operative they are, Mashallah - it's just a few certain close fam' members who don't want to do it...you'd expect family to be ready to wear ANY colour and not friends...except it's the opposite for us. Lol. But I need my cousins to get involved! One cousin is like my sister yet I am taken back by how she bluntly (but calmly) told me she can't wear it...I still can' figure out why she said that - as she loves wearing matching colours. I'm just a bit shocked that a few are doing this. Its almost like they don't want to join in and share in the happiness...
I hope Inshallah things work out and that they realise we're only doing for fun etc.
Well don't involve the cousins then! One of my best friends got four of her best friends (I.e. me and three other friends) to wear matching outfits like bridemaids-thingy, and her sister and 3 SILs chose to wear their own outfits.
That way you have the matchy thing, but you can also say to your couins 'well I didn't want to force it on you, you chose not to match and that's fine with me'.
Like I said, just get the people who want to do it to get matching colours, whoever doesnt want to join in, doesnt have to!
Dont stress too much and run around about it, it's really up to them to sort it out though.
If people don't want to do it, don't worry about them. As long as you have told them the option of wearing that colour, so they can't turn around later and say they were not told.
exactly what Mad hatter said - if they dont want to wear it, then dont worry about them. In fact pay more attention to the ones that are willing to wear one colour for your wedding! plus just enjoy your day - dont stress about all the minor things like colour coordination! :)
I asked all the girls to wear red on my mehndi. At first there were people who made issues about it (people close to me) and all I said was, thats ok if you dont want to wear it, Im asking all the girls to wear it. It did make me upset, but I thought, whatever, if they dont want to participate the way I want them to, then Im not going to have them participate in my mehndi (by not allowing them to be one of the girls bringing in mehndi thaals - I know its petty, but it was my mehndi!). I chose red because its a colour most people already own. They were allowed to choose their own shade, own design, own kaam, and mix any other colour they wanted in the outfit. This way, they could make it any way they wanted.
At the end, every single girl that I had asked wore red, and it looked fantastic.
I think its a little harsh to say that just because some people dont want to wear a certain colour that they dont want to join in with the celebrations or share the happiness. Personally I like a little bit of matching but not too much so I wouldnt be to keen on it either (but I would if someone asked me, especially if I was close to them).
I think your better of letting people know your ideas of the colours if some people do it then great, if not dont stress about it. Enjoy the wedding, dont let other people ruin it for you and your family
Also forgot to ask whether all the people you have asked are actually buying new clothes? If some people are planning on wearing clothes that they already have and they dont have the colour you are asking for then it could be an issue
Well what we are doing for my wedding is picking the style of outfit for each event, e.g. anarkali, gharara, dhaka, and allowing everyone to pick their own shades and color combos in those styles. Thus, there is uniformity amongst close relatives but the aspect if individuality shines through too (and keeps relatives from feeling restricted and vindictive towards the bride, lol).
I've selected colours for the mehndi. If people can/want to wear them cool. If not for whatever reason then it's not the end of the world. I've told them so they can join in. But I've also said its not a Must so they won't feel obliged/restricted.
Another option could be that the friends wear lilac, or bottle green, and then your cousins wear purple or a different shade of green? And for the one who wants her own individual style, she can wait until everyone else has bought their things and go out and buy a completely different style in everything but have the same colour? I personally would never even bother asking anything like that because I know everyone around me would pick issues like that
I think its a little harsh to say that just because some people dont want to wear a certain colour that they dont want to join in with the celebrations or share the happiness. Personally I like a little bit of matching but not too much so I wouldnt be to keen on it either (but I would if someone asked me, especially if I was close to them).
I think your better of letting people know your ideas of the colours if some people do it then great, if not dont stress about it. Enjoy the wedding, dont let other people ruin it for you and your family
Also forgot to ask whether all the people you have asked are actually buying new clothes? If some people are planning on wearing clothes that they already have and they dont have the colour you are asking for then it could be an issue
Mmm...I don't feel it is harsh - but that's my opinion though. Choosing a certain colour is just for fun's sake...it's actually really common and I reckon it looks really nice seeing people wear matching clothes on the mendhi etc. to me it shows closeness and everyone sharing in the brides happiness.
i like the idea of having them wear one style of outfit but in different shades that would look nice together.. that way everyone can still have their individuality and still be a part of the group
