Doston Yeh Nazm Aap sab Ke Liye… Enjoy… and Comment… Cheers !!
***** MASHRIQ / MAGHRIB - BACHHE ! *****
Apne Bachhe Pait Ke Bhooke Inke Bachhe Piyaar Ke Bhooke, Apne Bachhe Sookhe Phool Inke Bachhe Inki Bhool, Apne Bachhe Guriya Khailain Inke To Computer Jhelain,
Bachhe Apne Hon Ya Inke Bachhe Aaj Aur Bachhe Kal Ke, Bekal Hain Dharti Ke Bachhe Aiye Bachhon Ke Khaaliq Maalik Sab Bachhe Bebas Se Bachhe Kale Gore Zard Se Bachhe Bachhe Chaahain Sach Ka Bachhpan,
Tu Maalik Tu Sab Ka Waali, Bhaij De Ek Bachhon Ka Maaseehaa Haath Main Jiske Komal Sheetal Bachhpan Ka Ek Naya - S A H E E F A A… !!!
darwesh bhai, I liked your poem till I reached the line:
Aiye Bachhon Ke Khaaliq Maalik.
Could you revise the latter part of the poem without bringing God into it? I'm not saying what you wrote is not commendable - just my liking. If you don't mind, I can give you some ideas on how to develop the poem along the humanitarian lines.
